Dejana Vukadinović
BBC journalist
When was the last time you saw soup, sarma, crumbs or a stained tablecloth in holiday photos?
Judging by the footage posted on social media, everyone has floral decorations, elegant cutlery, candlesticks, artificial grass, and the children, and often pets, are dressed in clothes that match the rich meal.
And this applies to all holidays, from Easter, Christmas, Slava, New Year's, and even birthdays.
Photos and videos are often accompanied by messages such as - "Thankful for this year", "Love, health and joy to all", "Christ is risen", "Christ is born", as well as the hashtags #blessed, #holidayvibes, #happyholidays.
"If you're not on social media, it's like you don't exist," an acquaintance often tells me jokingly, alluding to my rare posts, mostly of music videos.
Celebrations in the virtual world, it would seem, also carry a tacit competition as to who is the better host.
"During the holidays, on social media we increasingly strive to present ourselves in an ideal light, that is, the way we would like people on the other side of the screen to perceive us."
"Some elements of that image are authentic, but it often does not reflect reality as a whole," explains psychologist Slađana Marković.
The event itself being celebrated remains in the background, he tells BBC Serbian.
- How the internet created new fears
- How sadness and melancholy went viral
- Pets and Babies: Why We Love to Look at Cute Things on the Internet
Like an art magazine
Online challenges have also emerged, such as searching for Easter eggs in the yard or having garden parties.
On these occasions, both hosts and guests are glued to their mobile phones, choosing the best shot for a story to publish immediately.
Social networks encourage activity and reactions, and draw us to see how many comments a post has had or who has viewed it.
People are inclined to collect such information, explains Marković.
Milena Stojanović's Instagram account resembles an art magazine.
He invests hours and hours in editing his posts.
"Excuse me, I'm flipping through the pages to see what this year's Easter decorations are in fashion," the 28-year-old replies when asked what she's doing.
Her rented apartment on the eve of the holidays resembles an art workshop: a handful of paints for painting, decoupage and self-adhesive stickers.
Once the set design is ready, several hours of photography follow, followed by a thorough selection of appropriate photos that Milena then posts on her profiles on various social networks.
That's why she also bought stage lighting.
After posting edited images, he constantly checks who has viewed them, whether there are any criticisms or praises, and compares them with posts from other Instagram friends.
Many of them he doesn't even know.
"Why is that important to you?" I ask.
"I don't know. If I don't post anything, I feel like I'm not a member of that community and that I haven't celebrated that day," she replies, a little embarrassed.
Milena is not alone in this vicious circle.
"That's actually a social media trap."
"You know it's not your true side, but you feel good when you see someone's praise or a positive comment - you feel good," says Marković, who has been researching how social media changes lifestyle habits for years.
However, spending too much time on social media can "lead to feelings of envy and a distorted belief that others are leading happier and more successful lives," the study found. Research from the American University of Pittsburgh back in 2017.
"Around 75 percent of people share content on social networks to connect with others," adds Marković.
And there's nothing wrong with that, but "social media can blur the line between reality and fiction," points out Catherine Ormerod, author of the book Why are social networks ruining our lives?
"Looking at pictures of others, we can't help but think that's how they really live, that's how they celebrate Christmas or Easter, and in fact, that's only one percent of someone's celebration," he explains.
Can young people get off social media?
'Fashion'
For now, 34-year-old Danica Dinić is resisting the pressure to have her celebration perfectly photographed, no matter how it is experienced.
She is particularly bothered by people who race for religious holidays, devoid of sincere belief and spirituality, she says.
"Until yesterday they didn't know how to cross themselves, and now they're showering us with pictures of painted eggs and icons."
"Fashion, to quote my grandmother," he says, somewhat bitterly, to the BBC in Serbian.
It is not uncommon for people to approach the celebration superficially, according to psychologist Marković.
"A small percentage of people actually know why a certain holiday is celebrated and what the customs are."
"We should make ourselves aware of why this upcoming holiday is important, what its symbolism is and what message it sends, not what other people think of us," advises Marković.
The opinions of others play a big role in building our identity, especially in the formative years when we are still searching for ourselves, he explains.
"If someone's mood is shaped by the approval and acceptance of other people (even in adulthood), it is often due to a lack of attention and appreciation from those closest to them in early childhood."
"In this way, he or she wants to make up for it, to feel accepted and important," he says.
- Easter celebration in Serbia - why are eggs dyed?
- The Easter Bunny: The Evolution of a Symbol
- The ancient flame of St. Peter's Day lilies - in photos
A bunch of pictures, few memories
The holidays are the time of year when we see our loved ones, forget about work, relax and enjoy ourselves, but in the era of digital technology, that has been lost somewhere, I think.
"It's more important to post a photo than to put down your phone and enjoy the moment," she adds.
Milena Stojanović has not always been dedicated to social media during the holidays.
She used to help her mother prepare lunch and treats, and then the whole family would watch the holiday TV program together.
Their father would tell them about his mischief, and their grandparents were often with them.
"I think we have two or three photos, and they were taken with a disposable camera," he recalls.
When she comes to the family home today, she participates less and less in shared activities, instead scrolling on her phone and checking to see if she has collected enough reactions on social media.
"I know it's bad, but it's like a vicious circle."
"I'm not sure I want to leave him anymore," she says.
He confidently adds that this year's Easter eggs will be a "sensation."
"The red color is pase (the past), it's all about the patterns," he explains proudly.
Does he know why eggs are dyed and on what day?
He shakes his head.
"No, but I'll find it on the Internet, I'm sure," she adds with a smile.
https://www.instagram.com/p/DIhChanMCCE/
BBC is in Serbian from now on and on YouTube, follow us HERE.
Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube i Viber. If you have a topic suggestion for us, please contact bbcnasrpskom@bbc.co.uk
Bonus video:
