As expected, March was longer than ever. Perhaps only that March from 21 years ago is its equal in length. Now we could use a Kumanovo agreement, but it is not in sight.
***
I've said more goodbyes to my daughters via Facetime this month than in the past six months. What do I really know about them? Very little. Their thoughts are theirs alone, their universe is theirs alone. Each person is a world unto himself, he sees other worlds with his own eyes, creates the image he wants to see and, mostly, guesses. Even if they were his children, the soul of his soul.
And during this pandemic, we will find out, in fact, whether we know what and how much about ourselves.
***
For the first time, I regret that, after my father's death, we sold our family house in Popovići. Spring mornings in the garden full of greenery, the pleasant rays of the sun from Rumia and the scent of the roses that my mother nurtured for years used to fill me with optimism, but now the memory of them makes me sad. Instead of in the yard, I stretch my legs from the living room to the bedroom. Exactly 20 steps.
From the balcony, which I just found out we have, all day long I look down at the sea and the Promenade of King Nikola, longingly as if there is no more beautiful corner on this corona planet. This must be how prisoners fantasize about returning to freedom.
To be honest, apart from the small number of people, the only thing I miss is walking by the sea. I used to walk at least five kilometers a day, now 50 meters and that within four walls. I always knew that the walk from the marina to the Željeznica river bridge was a privilege, and now I know what kind.
***
I thought I would use this "darkening" to read and write. But mostly I play chess, which doesn't calm me down because I keep losing games for a minute, and I masochistically avoid longer minutes. True, I write for the radio site and these blogs. I'm also looking through the third book, "Bar Tales". I read the very good collection "Life is always right - masters of the contemporary world story", edited by Ljubica Arsić and that's all. I don't have concentration, nor can I resist corona news, which, most often, destabilize me, and after them I'm good for nothing.
***
The three of us play rummy in the evening. I don't feel guilty when I lose, just like my father didn't feel guilty when he lost to me at mouse. He thought, just like I do now, that that defeat would be resurrected into a much more important victory. Although the verse from the famous "Icon" by Rist Ratković can be applied to both of them (to him a little more than to me): "Otherwise, you know, neither I nor you believed in God..."
***
The Internet has revolutionized communication. But, he also had some negative "likes" during the past years (alienation, loss of privacy...). Now we can't even imagine how painful the world would look like this spring without the Internet. And those who work from home owe him special thanks.
***
In the sea of more or less uninventive messages circulating on social networks, some can even make you laugh or imagine, like this one:
"Since the beginning of the epidemic in Montenegro, almost 100.000 people have been completely cured - from the betting shop."
***
When all this is over, it will be a problem for many to leave the house. Not because of psychosomatic problems, but because of obesity. He will say with a sigh: "Eh, how it was eaten in the age of corona!"
***
Stray dogs or homeless dogs, as local volunteers call them, seem agitated and their barking echoes even louder in the silence that reigns on the streets of Bar. And they are rightly upset, because the restaurants where there was always extra food for them are not working. "They miss human company more than food," says teacher Milena Zoranović, appealing to her fellow citizens to leave food and water for homeless dogs in front of their buildings, whenever they can and always in the same place.
***
One of my flaws has particularly come to the fore in these days of self-isolation. I was never patient, I always tried to get what I wanted "now and right away". And patience is perhaps the most important quality in the spring of 2020.
Bonus video:
