This Philip of ours is a miracle. After he flew to Zagreb to kiss Kolinda three times on the rosy cheeks with Tom, and once on the holy hand of Biden, here he is now in Azerbaijan. Together with the other 10 million Azeris and 200 million Russians, he is celebrating the birthday of the great leader Ilham Aliyev and the excellent democracy that he has been spreading on the coast of the Caspian Sea for two decades. Miraculously, Ilham's birthday is not February 15, but December 24.
And Philip thought that every great leader must be born on February 15. From Milo to Tom Nikolić. Nothing, however, can surprise Filip. Especially not birthdays. Either cities or leaders. Vazda is there, ready to commemorate and celebrate them with dignity. And this time, without courtesy, wisely, inspired, sincerely and fraternally, Philip says that the president's personal contribution to a more prosperous future of Azerbaijan is "inspiring and extraordinary". Therefore, not only democracy in Montenegro is extraordinary, as he recently explained to us, but also Ilham Alijev is extraordinary. In a democracy. I can imagine what kind of card Filip is preparing for February 15. For the birthday of Ilham's friend Milo, who is actually a role model for Ilham, glory and grace. Given that he has led our nation longer than his brother in terms of democracy, Aliyev. I can already imagine the Analitika portal reporting that the Montenegrin president wished the prime minister to lead Montenegrins for many more years. And together with Ali, he is building bridges of cooperation between our two peoples. Because, like Azerbaijan, Montenegro is a factor of peace and stability, and the way to such a bright future was paved by Filip's birthday boys, Ilham and Milo. Even if Rasko declared Ilham no less deserving of our country than Sonja and Sisojev, and issued him a Montenegrin passport in which February 15 would be written as his date of birth, then it would make the job of Philip of Azerbaijan much easier. That way, instead of two, he could only write one greeting card. By which he would save his precious time and be able to reply in peace to his former friend Tom, after the surprise that he had prepared for him.
However, as reported by the Azerbaijani agency Azertag, and Pobjeda learned from the top of the DPS, not long after sending the solemn telegram to brother Ilham, Filip bit his tongue. Namely, when he heard about the congratulation freed from any courtesy, Vujanović was called directly from Washington by the respected Vice President Biden and explained to him how the mentioned Filip's outpouring of admiration for the democratic leader of Azerbaijan could shake the great relations between Montenegro and the USA. I hope he won't, but I'm afraid he will, Biden told Philip in a phone conversation.
The former vice-president of the DPS and former close associate of the imprisoned Svetozar Marović was about to shriek in agony. What should he do now? How to get out of Milo's eyes. To send Professor Giša to him so that he can take responsibility for writing the congratulatory letter in front of the boss?! Or that he hopes that Milo will not find out about the card. But I'm afraid he will. In that case, I think it is best for Philip to suggest that Milo justify himself to Biden by admitting the truth to him - that Philip is not, in fact, the legitimate president of the country. That he was unconstitutionally elected for the third time, and that the presidential elections themselves were stolen. And that, in fact, he does not represent our people. That it is ordinary mint tea, that it does not benefit, but also does not harm. Except in sudden situations like this. When Professor Giša makes an appointment. Also, Filip could buy Milo's mercy by promising to renounce his brother Toma and not to drink his brandy at all future joint meetings of the leaders of the region, and when taking pictures together, he will always choose a seat at the opposite end of the Serbian president. Plus, in the future, Tommy would not send birthday cards on February 15, so as not to desecrate that great date in our history, but a day later. Because, if Raško can enter February 15 as the date of birth in Ilham's Montenegrin passport, why couldn't Filip move Tom's birthday just one day later. For 16. That's what your telegram is. It can hurt you worse than a metaphor.
I also call on Raško to immediately return Prof. Branko to the plain and allow him free access to Filip's office. Where, in view of the fact that he forgot his gun, he would just yell at Filip's secretary, and especially his colleague from Radmila's University, professor Giša. It didn't occur to you to write more texts and congratulations like this, shouted the professor, mentioning not only Filip but also Milo, Rocen and Ranko, who even after 25 years won't support his proposal for a transitional government as the only solution for the economy of Azerbaijan which is on her knees. And whose official currency has lost almost half its value against the hated dollar in the past few weeks. However, if I can advise Filip instead of Giša, I think the best way out of the new situation would be to send a new telegram to the great leader Ilham. Which could read:
"Dear Mr. President, I am sending you my hearty congratulations on your birthday, December 24th. I was just thinking to say that thanks to you, Azerbaijan is a factor of stability in the world today. I also wanted, without courtesy, to point out how you personally paved the way for Azerbaijan to a more prosperous and just future. And how I could be convinced from personal contacts that you are an inspiring and extraordinary personality. Next to my boss Đukanović. But, dear President, just as I was about to sign such a telegram that was touchingly worded to me by advisor Giša, I received a call from the respected Vice President Biden. I hoped that Saint Joseph was not calling me because of you, dear Ilham, but I was afraid that he was calling. From the long telephone conversation, I understood that the gourd broke between the two brotherly peoples and that the Americans no longer consider you, dear Ilham, as their friend and partner. Like our Milo. And that You have already fiercely retaliated against insolent America, with justified and well-deserved sanctions. In such a situation, dear Ilham, I only ask you not to mention me in front of Biden, for your independent agency Azertag to deny the information about my previous telegram-congratulations and to apologize for such a gross mistake. With that, you will help me a lot, and I, between us and so that Biden doesn't hear, I wish you and your wife and children all the best in the new year 2016 and that you will lead the proud brothers of Azera for a long, long time"...
Miracles are metaphors. Well done, Filip.
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