When Orson Welles made a live radio broadcast of the Martian invasion of Earth 77 years ago, with superb acting and special effects, it caused a huge panic among a large number of listeners across America who believed that the Martians had actually landed. That radio drama was called War of the Worlds.
When last week Željko Mitrović made the TV drama War of Half a World, a live broadcast of a coup, half of Serbia believed that a coup was underway, while the rest of the local population was convinced that Martians had landed in Pink's studio. This is probably because everywhere in the world the landing of Martians and coups d'état happen once or twice in history, only in Serbia the landing of Martians and a coup d'état is a traditional economic and tourist event that takes place every weekend on the fairy-tale glades of Pink.
Serbia already has Čvarkijada, Pihtijada, Kupusijada, Rakijada, Roštilijada, Tortijada, Mudijada and Kobasicijada, but it also got that original brand - the State Coup, an event where citizens can enjoy the simulation of a coup, the traditional hospitality of a coup, the specialties of the state coup and to the kind hosts of the coup.
And just as you can get sick at Pihtijada from a large amount of eaten pihtijas, so at the National holiday you can get sick only if you overeat the "national holiday" specialties. One of those specialties is the "Zlatibor psychiatric diagnosis for one person", which is not named after the mountain Zlatibor, but after the male name Zlatibor. Then, there are specialties: "thinking cabbage a la Vučićević", "Vulin's head in skembets and a close-up shot", and "Vučić's polygraph mug".
The newly concluded National Kick-off, therefore, began that day with a custom that has been passed down from generation to generation since the event was established: the owner of Informer ran into Pink's live broadcast, and in Serbia it is customary that the first person to enter Pink's studio on the day of the National Kick-off , be a position holder, which translated into Serbian means - a person who excessively "lodges".
- Colleagues, I'm just coming from the hospital Laza Lazarevic! - exclaimed the official before saying "good day".
- Did they let you go or did you run away? Are you short of breath? - asked the presenter Pinka, a person who, according to traditional customs, welcomes travelers and officials, and since most of them look like they have just arrived from the direction of Laza, nothing is strange to her.
- What about you, colleagues! I didn't even run away, and they didn't let me go!? I was there officially! It's investigative journalism, you see! - shouted the official. Then the official raised some paper triumphantly and exclaimed: "I have a diagnosis!"
- Honestly, I suspected it, but I never wanted to tell you openly so that you wouldn't get angry. But it's nice that you came to share your diagnosis with our viewers... - said the presenter.
- Aman, female head, it's not my diagnosis, it's a diagnosis I came to through investigative journalism! The diagnosis of another man who stuns the prime minister... - shouted the official.
- Sorry, I wanted to say, thank you for coming to share another man's diagnosis with our viewers... Our TV operates under the motto: your right to know all diagnoses! - concluded the presenter. Then in the other part of the studio, so to speak, in the glade where the State Conference is held, an expert in diagnosis, the Minister of Health, a man-mountain, appeared.
- Look, for example, this Draža Petrović! Did you know that he has prostate inflammation?! Here are the findings from the urology clinic, where everything is clearly visible... And how can you trust a man who has prostate inflammation? Then - here I have a report from Tiršova that Slaviša Lekić had mumps! One more thing, exclusive - Jugoslav Ćosić's health record clearly shows that he had chicken pox! Here, there is also the finding of the Institute for Mother and Child, where everything looks good... And finally, I have papers that show that the leader of the largest opposition party has bunions, while his deputy needs surgery for bunions! And their head of the parliamentary group, imagine, has minus seven dioptres! - concluded Zlatibor.
- Thank you Minister, and now we have a direct connection from Stefanovića ravine! - announced the presenter.
The State Udarijada is, namely, a manifestation that spreads rapidly, so part of the content was transferred from Pink's studio to Stefanovića Ravine, which has no connection with Marićevića Ravine, because the First Serbian Uprising was raised in Marićevića Ravine, while in Stefanovića Ravine they do not raise, but lower uprisings that were not even started.
A regular participant of the State Strike, Stefanović Nebojša, on the other hand, remembered that morning that he liked to watch those shows where various professions were guests in work clothes: flight attendants, miners, nurses or chimney sweeps from Grocka.
"And why don't they ever call the cops?" - Stefanović asked himself, so he lined up 30 people with phantoms and a heckler from all police branches behind him. Only the traffic guards were missing, but he didn't line them up out of respect for the owner of Pink.
In the beginning, that convenient gathering of people with phantoms looked as if Stefanović had just been kidnapped by the Islamic State and they were planning to demand a ransom in a live broadcast.
- People, is that behind Minister Stefanović Jihadist John? - shouted the official, seeing the minister surrounded by 30 pieces of Jihadi Johnov.
And while they were anxiously waiting on the clearing of the Pinka studio for the thirty people with the phantoms to start shouting: "Allahu ekber", Minister Stefanović read from the paper the questions for Prime Minister Vučić's high school graduation on the polygraph.
- To the questions: "Have you ever been to a restaurant?", "Have you ever been to a basement?", "Have you ever been to an attic?", "Where do you go out?", "How are you?", " What are you doing?”, “Who killed Laura Palmer?” - Prime Minister Vučić answered "No", and the polygraph showed that Prime Minister Vučić was telling the truth! - said Stefanović, triumphantly.
Then he announced that a person who visited Prime Minister Vučić's house 25 times in the last month had just been deprived of his freedom.
- That person belongs to some parastatal formations, since he visited the prime minister's house all 25 times in uniform! - said Stefanović, who, admittedly, found it strange that since this morning they have called him fifteen times from the Public Company Post of Serbia, to ask if the MUP has any information about Peri the postman, who was last seen that day putting letters in the mailbox of the Vučić family. And then they put him in the "marica" even though he persistently shouted: "Hey, people, I'm a postman, I visit some houses more than 25 times!".
Last week's National Strike ended in the evening, when the organizer from Pink discovered that no analyst, a traditional participant in the cultural and artistic program of every Strike, answered the phone, while the three drove her to her mother's house.
The Minister of Health comforted: "Just give me the names of those analysts, I'll comb through their diagnoses by next weekend... By the way, did you know that Orson Welles had a heart attack?" Here, I have his card too!”
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