Professor Branko Radulović, by his own admission one of the hundred smartest people in the world, revealed on Friday that the opposition plans to gather 300.000 to 400.000 souls at a protest in Podgorica. In the elections for the President of Montenegro on April 7, 2013, 326.793 citizens voted, which means that more people came to the rally in Radulović's head than to the elections.
A political praline like this has to be consumed with a lick. It's a treat for anyone who sighs over the old days. Somehow today's politicians have become boring, haven't they? That's why statements like this are a shortcut to catharsis. I've been watching various circus performers for two decades and I can appreciate - Radulović is on his way to return the spirit of Dadaism to Montenegrin politics, to remind of the heroic era when Aćim Višnjić, in a jar full of formalin, had a dialogue with a four-legged chicken from Zeta on the parliamentary rostrum.
As long as I live in Franco's Spain and that Radulović is my only chance to survive, I have to turn on my brain - what did the vice-president of the Assembly say? The strategist predicted that about 3/4 of the adult citizens of this country will choose to revolt collectively against the dictatorship. Since in the winter months three or four people live per square meter, this means that, for example, for 350.000 people, we should find an area of at least 100.000 square meters. According to FIFA regulations, one football field has an area of about 7.000 square meters. According to the calculations of metallurgy professor Radulović, we would need 15 football fields in the center of Podgorica in order to organize a meeting grand enough to overthrow the government.
It is known that in historical moments, Radulović winks and waves his hands in a peculiar way. If Joe Cocker celebrated the "air guitar" on stage, then Radulović invented the "air crucifixion" - he is the crucified God-man of the Montenegrin opposition, the conductor who leads the crowd to a sexual crescendo in which we can not only blow away the government, but with wise leadership and a few hundreds of coordinated megaphones, we could turn the tide towards the neighborhood and correct some border injustices. It's a real shame that Radulović can't speak in front of several million people, because the wheel of history might turn in the direction of his brave visions.
But let's let the imagination go, we think locally. It's a dictatorship. Podgorica has 150.000 people with the right to vote. According to the professor's scenario, another Podgorica would have collapsed in Podgorica that day. This would most certainly lead to a traffic collapse. At your free estimate, several tens of thousands of additional cars, sirens and curse words. If we don't count excavators and freight machinery. We can easily imagine Radulović on the bucket of an excavator, greeting the crowd and crying, but it is a picture so moving and filled with pathos that it becomes counter-revolutionary. Let's leave the fantasy behind and return to reality, that is, to what Radulović, one of the leaders of the opposition in my country, serves as reality.
If we assume that 350.000 demonstrators is a realistic number, then we have to ask ourselves what will happen to around 100.000 children under the age of 9 who are running and messing around in Montenegro. There are almost 40.000 small children under the age of four. Who will preserve and milk it, professor? Will that handful of adults who for some reason do not respond to the call, manage to answer the homework. And how will those who stay at home, i.e. some 100.000 hardened supporters of the government, look after the children of angry oppositionists. Or will the DF, like the American trade unionists from the beginning of the 20th century, give the children to be looked after by families who purposely stay out of the struggle.
Indeed, what will we do with 162.844 minor citizens on that holy day? I suggest that 15-year-old boys be recruited, and girls start growing their braids in order to convey important messages to Andrija Mandić if he remains cut off in the front line. Radulović is for peace, he is for Gandhi, but the man rightly says - it is not easy to control 300-400.000 people, it can lead to dangerous situations when half the population takes to the streets.
The imagination is tickled, the heroic chest swells. We remember the stories of our grandfathers. At least 15.000 over 80-year-olds living in Montenegro will have to stay at home that day and wait for Branko Radulović to overthrow the government. Let them eat dvopeka and tea, and watch the TV broadcast. If they die on that day, then they were destined. Radulović will mention them wistfully in hours-long speeches in front of half a million people, in a free Montenegro, half a million, because in freedom the birth rate will jump, the diaspora will return and there will be twice as many of us. We just need to make a small effort, to start with 400.000 of us and to overthrow the government with Professor Radulović at the head.
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