On the International Day of the Fight Against Corruption, Montenegro can boast like no other country in the world, because not a single high-ranking state official has ever been corrupt, never worked in private interests, nor got rich from politics.
Only our ministers manage to buy apartments in a year and pay back loans larger than their annual salaries, without any institution suspecting that they took money from the outside.
Only in Montenegro can a minister employ his entire family in managerial positions, without anyone accusing him of nepotism... because, for God's sake, who can be more professional, capable and well-known than the members of the respected minister's family.
Only in Montenegro the structure of the Government depends on who needs immunity from criminal prosecution. And the departure of the prime minister is announced as Đekna's death. Only our prime minister is given multimillion-dollar loans at his word. Only in our country, due to the business of the prime minister and his family, special laws are adopted to give them subsidies from the budget.
And yet the Government headed by him manages to avoid a conflict of interest. And only our Minister of Finance can be overjoyed when the Chief repays loans to the state by spinning the same million a dozen times.
Only our MPs receive higher salaries in the administrative committees to which they are appointed by the Government, than in the Assembly, and yet they manage to remain independent and thus successfully control their benefactors from the executive branch. According to the principle, hands go hand in hand. Nowhere is there a happier privatization than in Montenegro - only here, companies are sold in pubs. Only nobody benefited from our privatization, even though all our factories were robbed and about to be shut down.
Only our government allocates hundreds of millions of euros to local and foreign tycoons whose factories today owe more to their owners and the state than their debts before privatization, at the expense of the judiciary, prosecution, health, education and other insignificant services for citizens.
And then the same government gets into debt because of floods. Our institutions fight more successfully and efficiently than anywhere else against trade unionists - criminals who will not silently watch as the government's strategic offshore partners rob their companies.
Only our ministers publicly exonerate tycoons from prosecution for tax evasion. Imagine if Al Capone were alive and doing business in Montenegro, his investments could bring prosperity to our citizens. He would probably become the best strategic partner for our government... and an honorary citizen.
Even when we know that no one has ever laundered money in Montenegro except for those two unfortunate Chinese women from a few years ago, we can conclude that there is no country where the Directorate for the Prevention of Money Laundering has as little work as in Montenegro.
Only in Montenegro, the building permit represents an unnecessary business barrier, and the planning documentation is reduced to the wish list of the domestic and foreign construction mafia. Only in our country it is easier to flood the Tara and Morača canyons due to the alleged electricity deficit, than to make the owners of KAP and Željezara pay. what they owe.
Only our police and secret service unhindered eavesdrop on citizens, civil society activists, journalists and politicians, defending the country from foreign spies and domestic traitors, while organized crime bosses and people on international warrants get passports or leave the country unhindered just as the police loudly announce their arrests. Nowhere is there such harmony and coexistence as in Montenegro. And such predictability.
Only in our country, intelligence officials go to criminals' parties, and the police and the prosecutor's office act as if they are sorry that they were not invited, while they listen to those who say that it might not be right for high officials of the secret service to socialize with criminals.
That's why it's no wonder that only our secret police can think that there are no obstacles to giving our passports to drug lords. After all, they are good guys. That's why it's no wonder that only in our country, criminals are more happy about visa liberalization and anti-corruption reforms than citizens.
And moral, as the Supreme State Prosecutor said. Only she never had a problem with criminals. And only she succeeds in turning victims into attackers, criminals into witnesses, and witnesses into culprits. With us, everything is relative. Only here, the organizational structure of the judiciary resembles a family tree.
Only our judiciary and prosecutor's office are giving lessons to the European Commission that this institution does not really understand what it means to be independent, professional, professional and transparent.
That's why our highest civil servants should start exporting their knowledge to the countries of the European Union, to raise their standards a little and prepare them for the entry of Montenegro - a wonderland, a country without corruption.
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