Made in HDZ

If Lovro Kuščević leaves the post of Minister of Administration, it will not be a question of a decision to remove a criminal from the Government, but of a determination that, by eliminating a wasted criminal, the Government will remain dedicated to crime - a high source from the HDZ told us. On our insistence that he elaborate, he added with a satisfied smile: 'The ruling order ensures its vitality and longevity by occasionally putting its image and occasion to public firing.'

In any case, after the affairs with real estate and abuse of political position, which the Croatian public has been passionately dealing with in recent weeks, the head of Minister Kuščević has already been served on a platter, surrounded by baked potatoes, spring onions and breaded cauliflower, and it seems that the only dilemma is whether Prime Minister Andrej Plenković will leave it to the collective tasting, or will the ministerial pumpkin jump off the tray on its own and rush into the nearest wastebasket.

According to our sources, the latter is more likely. After all, that may have already happened, the signer of these lines simply does not feel like opening internet portals every few minutes and checking the current state of affairs. Excessive information is really tiring, especially when it is expected from a newspaper reporter. By the time this report is in front of the readers, the Minister of Administration may or may not have already been dismissed, may or may not have already resigned, and the only thing that is certain is that - whether or not the minister will go to hell - it is perfect anyway.

"A high-ranking source close to the government confirmed to me that a high-ranking source close to the prime minister informed him that Plenković could overturn the decision at any moment," a high-ranking source from the HDZ told us. "Whenever it gets close, the shot at Kuščević should be carried out so that the party, instead of self-injury - or, God forbid, suicide - ensures self-reproduction. Now it is necessary to stand on the ball and rely on the strategy that we have always followed in similar situations: sacrificing worn-out criminals for the purpose of criminal regeneration. It may sound like a contradiction to you, but on the basis of that contradiction HDZ has ruled this country for almost thirty years.'

"It is logical that the Prime Minister tries to be careful and act meticulously," explains a high-ranking source close to the Prime Minister. Namely, he must preserve the ruling system by removing Kuščević, and that in circumstances when Kuščević is the most authentic expression of the ruling system. As you yourself know, the Minister of Administration, by voraciously indulging in corruption, did not violate the moral code of the party, but, on the contrary, was a Hadese from head to toe, that is, from villa to bank account.'

Nevertheless, all the sources we contacted were literally touched by the intensity of excitement that the public, encouraged by the leading media, showed regarding the latest case. One of them didn't hesitate to express it through open irony: 'Hadzeovac amassed millions by buying agricultural land that he would then, as a municipal leader, declare as construction land? What a novelty! A Hadese who used his political influence for private enrichment? Unbelievable! What is happening with HDZ?! Is it possible that a whore will lose her virginity after thirty years of heavy-duty whoring?!'

The high-ranking source kept laughing into the phone, so we sent him to hell, but that's no reason not to take his insight into account. The 'Kuščević case' is obviously just a new stream of hot water on the Croatian public scene. "This current transparency is identical to that of yesterday and that of tomorrow, but the media have developed to perfection the techniques of astonishment and consternation as if they are constantly encountering it for the first time," a source from the Faculty of Political Sciences tells us. 'Under such stimulation, the Croatian public is constantly surprised by the same criminal stagings. My analyzes lead to the conclusion that it is a spasmodic struggle against lethargy and boredom.'

A journalist who wished to remain anonymous tells us that the media hysteria, as usual, developed in two phases. In the first, the leading newspapers did not publish a single word about Lovra Kuščević's malfeasance, even though half the country knew about said crimes. Strict censorship was in place until a week ago. In the second phase, when, thanks to the independent portals, the protective cordon was breached (and the avalanche could no longer be stopped), excessive shelling is resorted to: kidneys are removed, intestines are dug up, bricks are counted, exclamation points are drawn, so that all criminals are leveled and accusations brought to the point of absurdity, so it doesn't matter whether Kuščević, with the help of a party ID card, stole the public good or appeared at the Sunday mass wearing different colored socks.

'It is important for us that in both stages - both in the phase of categorical censorship and in the phase of excessive shelling - we demonstrate equal contempt for the truth', a source from the editorial office of Slobodna Dalmacija, a newspaper which as recently as last month refused to publish several carefully documented journalistic revelations about Kuščević's corruption feats, so that today he would boldly ask for the minister's decapitation. The same unwavering journalistic guard was expressed by our interlocutors from Jutarnji and Večernji list, as well as from HRT.

Within the HDZ itself, however, it seems that two currents of opinion have emerged regarding the dismissal of the Minister of Administration - for one, the party should retain the model of a criminal organization, and for the other, quite the opposite, act according to the model of organized crime. But both factions agree, as a source from the top of the party claims, that 'it is not advisable to observe Croatian political corruption and the Croatian Democratic Union as separate phenomena'. Then he specifies: 'With patient political and field work, the party managed to develop the organization and mentality of the gang, which means - whoever does not steal, becomes suspicious!'

"Characters like Lovra Kuščević are the product of many years of work by the party machinery," agrees our source from the minister's close circle. 'They mature as a result of carefully planned cultivation. Anyone who does not want to use political-party power for personal material gain has no business in the HDZ! Could a serious criminal group, such as the HDZ without a doubt, count on survival if it starts admitting honest people into its ranks?'

The same source notes that in that well-worn metaphor of the wheat and the tares, the tares include all those who feel disenchanted with the abuse of their public office. In other words, the propensity for embezzlement is not just an individual characteristic, but an expression of deep loyalty to the party whose ID you own. 'Our silos are full and healthy!' underlines. This is also confirmed by the data from the internal records that we received from a source in the HDZ secretariat: among party members immersed in turning political capital into material goods, every three hundred and ninety-eight bears a symbolic sanction for it. "This is necessary in order to simulate the determination of the HDZ in the fight against corruption," says our source and giggles eerily.

"The Croatian people got their country because those who gave it to the people could properly rob it," a high-ranking Hadze resident told us, wishing to remain anonymous, so he introduced himself as V. Šeks. Of course, the Croatian people are also exposed to continuous looting, but on the other hand, they got a state, even though it is not certain that they deserved it. I think it's basically a fair trade.

There is no free lunch!'

Our high-ranking source close to the Government thinks similarly, claiming that the historical success of the HDZ is, after all, based on the flood of Kuščevićs that flooded Croatian society. "The dawning consequence of that massive alluvium is the mud left to moralize. Who about what, mud about purity!' In situations of occasional slips, therefore, the tactic of sacrificing a pawn is used to save the game. To preserve the kleptocracy, the kleptomaniac must be suppressed.

"Kuščević is certainly aware of that," says our source. "After all, he got rich thanks to the party, so it's time for him to agree to a symbolic renunciation so that others can continue to get rich." It would be stupid for him to make a drama out of it. If you remember how the HDZ managed to remove Sanader in order to keep the Sanaderism, you can imagine how easily they will solve the problem of the Brac hen house. In this respect, the removal of the minister will be part of the general Lupeš plan. Kokošar, in other words, could leave the seat of power driven by the same motive for which he once joined the HDZ.'

This reporter, on the other hand, will now send the text to the editorial office and only after that check on the Internet portals whether Lovro Kuščević is still the Minister of Administration. Or not. Or it is. Or not. Or the same. Or a dick.

(portalnovosti.com)