How we are systematically destroyed by idiots

Exactly nineteen times I read the sensational news in the newspaper that the new Split University Hospital will be built for two hundred million euros. I read the news nineteen times, then checked nineteen times if I read it correctly, and finally nineteen times checked if I understood correctly.

And every time I got the same result: this country is run by a) complete, perfectly round idiots. There is no second or third, no b), no c), no d). Trust me, I've gone through and searched all the possibilities. Just a) complete, perfectly round idiots. Clearly, just like you, it doesn't suit me that the Republic of Croatia is run by complete, perfectly rounded idiots, so I feverishly started looking for some kind of reason for a new city hospital.

1. WHY A NEW HOSPITAL?

I have one good and one bad, whatever reason. First a good one. A good reason would be, for example, that the current Clinical Hospital Center in Firule and Križine is old, dilapidated and unconditioned, that the city has outgrown it and that it is not enough to just rebuild it, but it should be completely demolished and a new one built. However, it is not that one: as I understood from the news, the new hospital will not be built on the site of the old one. Okay, let's go to any, any reason then. Any reason would be, for example, that there is a better and more accessible location for the hospital in the city.

2. WHY?!

Perhaps, somewhere in the mysterious, unexplored depths of the minister's mind, there really is a "why" for the Split University Hospital, but this is not it either. "KBC Split would be moved to Klis", Minister of Health Milan Kujundžić solemnly announced in Slobodna Dalmacija.

3. DID KLIS REALLY SAY THAT?!

Yes: the new Split University Hospital will be built in Klis, twenty kilometers away from the city!

4. WHY ON EARTH, KLIS?

Why, why? Maybe because Klis is fantastically connected to Split? I checked that too: it's not. The road to Klis winds for twenty kilometers through the most populated suburbs of Split, congested even in the off-season, when hundreds of thousands of tourists and their helpers head in that direction towards Split in addition to the natives. In short, the current KBC, perfectly located on the city's main traffic vertical - which takes citizens and the emergency services from any part of Split to reach the hospital in no more than ten minutes today - will replace the hospital on the hill, which even Murat-bey's Ottomans took ten years more to reach back then but to Vienna.

5. WHY THEN?

The matter is actually simple. "The Chinese really liked the position where a hospital could be built. The most important thing for them is that the highway and the airport are close to them", Jakov Vetma, the mayor of the municipality of Klis, hastened to interrupt the minister.

6. CHINESE?! WHAT KIND OF CHINESE ARE NOW?

Eh, yeah, I didn't tell you. "The Chinese are interested in building the University Hospital in Split, it is the largest Chinese state-owned pharmaceutical company," Health Minister Milan Kujundžić explained in Slobodna Dalmacija. "The hospital would be exclusively owned by Croats, Croatian doctors would work in it, and all citizens, as well as Chinese, would be treated."

7. WAIT, WOULD THE CHINESE GET TREATMENT TOO?

"All citizens, as well as the Chinese, would be treated in it." What is not clear? I guess now it is clearer to you why it is "important for them to be close to the highway and the airport".

8. I UNDERSTAND. SO, A BIG HOSPITAL COMPLEX?

I suppose. In order for the Chinese to "be treated" in addition to the citizens of Split, the new hospital would have to be considerably larger than the current KBC Split. In the vast, desolate municipality of Klis, territorially twice the size of Split, the new University Hospital will have space for at least two, if not three times the capacity of the previous one? Is that so, minister? "The new University Hospital", continued the minister, "would have roughly the same capacity as the current one, so somewhere around fourteen hundred beds".

9. THE SAME CAPACITY?!

More precisely, "about the same". Which even opens up the humorous possibility that the new hospital has a few fewer beds than the old one.

10. THEN WHY THE CHINESE AT ALL?

Already - you will notice pitifully - I am desperately clinging to the thinnest thread of my good intentions: maybe, for all I know, the Chinese will build a new hospital for the people of Split completely free of charge? Perhaps it will be a gift from the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China to Split, a city with a glorious communist past? Nice try, but it's not even that: unlike the Alleged Republic of Croatia, namely, the People's Republic of China is not run by perfectly round idiots. "For the construction of a new hospital", explained the Minister of Health, "the Chinese would give us a very favorable loan".

11. LOAN?! HOW WILL WE PAY THE LOAN BACK?

Okay, I admit, my idea with the gift of the People's Republic of China was stupid, but still less stupid than raising a loan for a new hospital in Klis next to the old hospital on Firula and Križine, in the middle of the city. Unless, of course, Split and Croatia have extra money in the budget to pay back the two hundred million euro loan for the new hospital. So do Split and Croatia have extra money in the budget? You'll be surprised, but they don't. How then? "The loan could be repaid from the sale of land in Firule and Križine," the minister thought. "And that space, which is probably the most attractive space in Split and beyond, would be repurposed."

12. SALE OF FIRULA?!

You, too, have never heard anything more stupid. An attractive plot of land in the middle of the city, on which the city hospital is now located, will be repurposed and sold by Split in order to pay back the loan for which the Chinese will build an approximately equally large hospital twenty kilometers outside the city! At first glance, the only thing more foolish than that would be if the money from the sale of the field was not enough to pay back the loan.

Please, minister, at least say that this money would be enough to repay the loan. "From the sale of that land, a large part, if not the entire amount of the loan that the Chinese would give us, could be returned," coughed the minister in Slobodna Dalmatia.

13. NOW YOU ARE FUCKING!

No. I repeat: "From the sale of that land, a large part, if not the entire amount of the loan, could be returned." And when a Croatian minister says "a large part, if not the entire amount", it not only means that the money from the sale of land in Firule and Križine will most certainly not be enough for the entire loan, but it guarantees that it will not be enough even for a smaller one part. If not even for a deposit.

14. SO MAO TE DEAR CE TUNG FUCK!

You took my word out of my mouth. Not only will the authorities sell the attractive space of the Clinical Hospital Center in the middle of the city in order to repay the loan for which they will get a hospital twenty kilometers outside the city with a smaller capacity for more patients - the people of Split, namely, and the Chinese - but even that money will not be enough to repay the loan !

15. SORRY, WE'RE LOST.

Let's repeat, for those more stupid in the Government and the City: instead of the current KBC in a perfect location in the middle of the city, Split will get a smaller hospital twenty kilometers away on a congested road in Klis, and it will still be in the red!

16. THEN WHY THE WHOLE OPERATION AT ALL?

Because the City of Split and the Republic of Croatia are run by a) complete, perfectly rounded idiots.

17. AH, YES.

I told you at the beginning. No b), no c), no d).

18. CLEAR, CLEAR. IS THERE, HOWEVER, SOME SMALL POSSIBILITY THAT E) THEY ARE NOT IDIOTS AFTER ALL?

There is always a distant premonition of the theoretical possibility that, now I'm speaking from memory, someone has his eye on an attractive field in Firule and Križine, so that, as far as I know, someone from the government will build a house there for a million euros. However, knowing the integrity and honesty of HDZ members, I have my doubts. After all, if you don't believe me, ask them: do they really think a) to demolish the hospital complex in the middle of the city in order to repay part of the loan for a new, smaller hospital deep behind the Turkish lines by repurposing and selling the land, or maybe b) one of them for a million EUR included in the sale of attractive land in Firule and Križine.

19. IT REALLY WORKS OUT A).

I'm telling you, I've checked nineteen times.

(hr.n1info.com)