There are many blocked. It is a national tragedy that many of them leave Croatia in order to open new accounts abroad and somehow start a new life. The state must therefore use urgent measures to find a solution for unblocking citizens' accounts, and as part of those measures to adopt a new enforcement law as soon as possible", she authoritatively told the nation from Krapina - where last Wednesday, as part of her traveling circus "Liepom nasmo", she pitched her presidential tent said the roving President of the Republic Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović.
"It is a national tragedy that many people are leaving Croatia to start a new life abroad!" cried the devastated President into the gray sky of Zagorje, and an unwary viewer in the audience would have sworn that it was the same lady who exactly one year ago on the occasion of the twenty-fifth anniversary of the international recognition of the Republic of Croatia, she gave an interview to the Viennese Kleine Zeitung, and to the journalist's statement that many Croats are leaving the country in search of work, she replied that "people in Croatia have a free choice, and they can leave if they feel that they are not here good enough".
"I constantly meet people who feel nostalgia for Yugoslavia!", visibly annoyed, answered the Austrian journalist, then continued under her breath: "I always suggest to such people that we return Yugoslavia for one day so that they can see which freedoms would be abolished, and which in today's I can enjoy Croatia. The difference compared to the last country is that people have a free choice, and anyone who thinks that it is not good enough for them here can leave!"
Why, however, would any sane person leave the land of those unsuspected liberties, as they are called? Eh, why. Because of the journalists, the same lady will explain a month later at the round table "Being a young returnee and living in Croatia": "because of the extremely depressing and bad image of our country, as it is often presented in the media".
The impression that it is the same person is somewhat strengthened by the fact that the lady who blamed the media for the "depressive and bad image of our country" and told the Croats in the Kleine Zeitung that "they can leave if they are not comfortable here", was also called Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović. and that she also presented herself as the president of the Republic of Croatia. Another painfully futile year of Croatia's already painfully futile history was thus wasted on the group session of a split woman.
"Many Croats are leaving the country in search of work," says the Austrian journalist, while today's Kolinda is actually thinking out loud that "many are leaving Croatia to start a new life abroad", to which yesterday's Kolinda is waving her hand resignedly at the mirror, saying that Croats they are leaving the country because of the "extremely depressing image of our country in the media", realizing that they "constantly meet people who feel nostalgia for Yugoslavia".
Today's Kolinda then warns that the fact that "many are leaving Croatia" is not Yugonostalgia, but, as it were, a "national tragedy", and yesterday's Kolinda disdainfully reminds today's self that in Croatia, unlike Yugoslavia, "everyone who thinks that he is not good enough with us, he can leave".
Today's Kolinda slaps the one of yesterday with a sound slap, yesterday's today grabs her by the hair, today's yesterday pulls it furiously with that heavy porcelain vase that Marshal got from Comrade Mao Tse Tung, yesterday's today with that heavy phone that Vrhovnik got from comrade Slobodan Milošević, and all of a sudden those ballet dancers lined up on Pantovčak look at each other in discomfort while squeals and screams come from the Presidential Palace - just like in that unforgettable episode of Dynasty, when Linda Evans and Joan Collins finally broke up - and Kolinda settles inside in a mass fight alone with you.
"What's going on?", cautiously asks the head of the cabinet Anamarija Kirinic in a whisper.
"Nothing," the pewter ballet dancer on guard answered her in a whisper. "Krystle found out about Alexis."
In just, and - to avoid symbolic misunderstandings - exactly one year, the Croatian president went from a proud Croatian integralist to a pathological Yugoslav nostalgic, who, in a permanent quarrel with herself, sometimes spreads a depressing image of Croatia, sometimes blames the media for it, and sometimes she forces those who don't like Croatia to leave freely, and at other times she is offended and packs her bags herself.
It certainly wouldn't be our problem - we wouldn't even consider it here, because health is a citizen's private matter, like religion, and the "media" does not serve to "spread depressing and bad images" about citizens, but about states - that irreconcilably quarreled dr. Krystle Grabar and Mrs. Alexis Kitarović is not the only president of the Republic of Croatia. Since, namely, the Croatia of January 2017 and the Croatia of January of this year - the one with unimagined freedoms and the one from which people flee in panic - are one and the same Croatia, there remains the disturbing realization that the president of the Republic from January 2017 and the president from January of this year, two different Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović.
But which one is the real one: the cold, unscrupulous integralist Alexis or the sensitive, tearful Southern nostalgist Krystle? Which one won the election? Which one did you vote for? These are no longer questions only for the president's psychotherapist, but also for the lay public.
Namely, it would be a problem if Mrs. Grabar-Kitarović had a slightly different opinion from herself, let alone - to the exact one hundred and eighty degree - diametrically opposed. Finally, it would be a problem if her mandate was one year, from January to January, let alone that one mandate to the other is no longer even from Wednesday to Wednesday.
"A lot of people are blocked," said the subtle Krystle Grabar-Kitarović in Krapina, explaining that with the statement about the "national tragedy" and "many people who leave Croatia to open new accounts and start a new life abroad", she was referring to the victims of the blockades and enforcement: "Therefore, the state must use urgent measures to find a solution to unblock citizens' accounts, and as part of those measures to pass a new Enforcement Act as soon as possible," the President said authoritatively, wiping away tears, on Wednesday, and then already on Sunday - just four days later ! - sat down at the desk and wrote a moving obituary to her deceased friend Marijan Hanžeković, remembering him as a "true humanist" who "often supported many actions for the common good, never emphasizing it", and "a man who sincerely lived the values of humanism, in which he believed".
Of course, Hanžeković is not important. He was important while he was alive, and while he was alive he was the most powerful Croatian lawyer and the uncrowned King of foreclosures, the foreclosure monopolist directly responsible - or rather directly signed, because he did not write the law - for hundreds of thousands of foreclosures that drove Croats into bankruptcy and poverty : in short, for the same "national tragedy" in which "many of them leave Croatia in order to open new accounts abroad and somehow start a new life".
The state must use urgent measures to find a solution to unblock citizens' accounts, and as part of those measures to pass a new Enforcement Act as soon as possible", Krystle will cry in her voice on Wednesday, and Alexis will be crying already on Sunday, writing a touching farewell to her friend Cecil Colby, which has just happened With enforcement law and blockades of citizens, he became unfathomably rich: not just one of the enforcement profiteers, but a man who symbolized the institution of account blocking, the very personification of enforcement, the Grand Master Svij the Bailiff's head and signature.
And suddenly, the same Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović who cried on Wednesday over the fate of blocked, foreclosed and bankrupt Croats, only four days later is crying over the fate of their enforcer, presenting the same blockades and foreclosures as "actions for the common good". and the enforcement system as a canonical "value of humanism".
And then again: Kolinda from Wednesday grabbed Sunday's by the hair, Sunday's from Wednesday gave her a loud slap, Wednesday's from Sunday furiously pulled at that with Nasser's crystal ashtray, Sunday's from Wednesday with twenty-year-old Milošević's whiskey, and there she was again ballet dancing in front of the door of the Presidential of the court, looking at each other in discomfort while squeals and screams are heard from inside.
"What's going on?", the head of the cabinet Anamarija Kirinic will cautiously ask.
"Nothing," the pewter ballet dancer on guard will answer in a whisper. "Presidential elections."
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