Prepare the gifts

Ever since the heavens and a spiritual people overthrew the government on earth, Montenegro has been living a post-election fairy tale. And in that fairy tale, Zdravko Krivokapić played the role of Santa Claus. Zdravko hoped that from Mitrovdan, the sword of justice would cut off the tentacles of the octopus and heal the tired economy. But instead of preparing the budget and reform laws, Zdravko spent his days reading letters with lists of party wishes. And desires multiplied and mutated like viruses in the laboratories of the deep state.

In letters to the president, potential ministers were reminded of how good they were during the campaign. How during the whole of August they were on a fast from the media and social networks, while the future prime minister toasted and visited monasteries. They didn't fight or curse each other like they are good at, while the list holder was pacifying Montenegro. They kept quiet, while the God-pleasers made election lists and pushed opposition stars into the shadow of naturist politicians. They waited for the heavens and resurrected abstainers to turn the professor into a mandate and give him superpowers to share ministerial chairs. And then, like all children towards the end of the year, they rightly asked for a reward for good behavior.

Since that day, the biographies of unwanted collaborators have melted Zdravko's dreams of an expert government. Under the onslaught of the wishes of opposition veterans, the names of experts and civil activists who were supposed to turn into the prince's new party in the post-election fairy tale faded. Hardened anti-corruption fighters and former owners of hotels and travel agencies who want their own cabinet joined the ranks for ministerial seats. Untried presidents were waiting for the chair of the head of diplomacy. The friends of our western friends became the only solution for the ministries of force. As in the contest for Miss Vrnjačke Banje, they shoved sheets of biographies into the hands of the representative and asked for ministerial ribbons. Where the lists did not help, they called for help from secret centers of power and heavenly representatives on earth.

But since Santa Claus does not have magical powers in Montenegro either, too many other people's wishes caused him insecurity. Then, confused by reading and negotiations, he was able to accuse Aca of Belgrade of scheming with the Montenegrin king, and then repentantly invited him to visit. The mandate holder knew how to mix up the days of victory and the Serbian state and pretend to be unskilful when mothers, sisters and wives ask if they will be in the new government.

Then the elves from the advisory team came to the rescue to explain that Santa Claus was tired of waiting to finally turn into a knight. Suggested the mandate to relax by writing poetic exposés for selected media and meetings with the civil sector and journalists. To make the wait easier for him, they kept him connected to Twitter, where he defended his pastures and promised changes. Until he gets a cabinet in which, as the new head of parliament, he will be able to promise reforms and give foreign guests a bouquet of flowers, a towel and a kilo of sugar.

While Krivokapić was waiting for the secret centers of power and heavenly forces to draw up the final arrangement of ministerial chairs, Duško Marković successfully played the Grinch in the Montenegrin fairy tale. While the mandate was waiting for the opposition veterans to approve the composition of the Government, the resigned Prime Minister cut ribbons and boycotted the Assembly. He offered to pay the November pensions before handing in his shift and emptying the coffers, which by spring could be as empty as the coast in corona time. Pregalački filled the state seats with those whom the field recognized in August. In a duet with the father of the nation, he sang an ode to cohabitation and offered help to unblock the judiciary. He extended the opposition hand to the winners and, as an expression of good will, threw out supreme judges and overpaid female directors. At the same time, with the help of the NKT secretary, he bequeathed to his heirs a raging epidemic, full hospitals and the title of regional leader in at least something.

In the post-election fairy tale, time was not wasted only by flyovers. Yesterday's sure vote counters flew with the speed of light into the ranks of the new winners to admit that they have suffered from one-mindedness for too long. They took new party booklets like patients receiving therapy and explained that since August 30, their hearts only wanted democracy. As academics, they were welcomed by the winners who, until yesterday, abhorred organized criminal groups.

From the post-election magic lamp, the spirit of democracy spread to the theaters and woke up the actors who are looking for directors' heads from their one-party slumber. Resistance movements also arose in the Public Service, and the readers of yesterday's party announcements raised their voices, and since August 30, the journalist's nerves have been awakened. When they were not accepted into the opposing camp, the management let the winners onto state television through the back door. To complement the beautiful presenters on the morning programs until Santa Claus assigns them portfolios.

During that time, Montenegro was waiting for the post-election prince to get her back on her feet when he had already succeeded in awakening her democratic heart. She did not ask for Santa Claus or the help of the heavens and embassies. Only therapy for a long recovery. And that the amateur knights don't turn her into Cinderella again and return her to her evil stepmother.