If we were to compare the ruling coalitions with married unions, this Montenegrin one is the closest to divorce. It is true that the winners still smile in front of foreign guests, but plates have been flying between the four walls for a long time. They call on God and the blessed people less and less, as much as expert promises that, as of yesterday, made the skin crawl like kisses. Reform laws lie in parliament forgotten like cocaine among bananas, and no one mentions trusts in the Virgin Islands anymore. Those who promised arrests and depoliticization of the judiciary are now threatening divorce cases that leave one without a seat or falling below the census.
And a year earlier, the leaders were hugging and laughing like newlyweds in wedding pictures. They promised democracy as love to the grave and planned a common home in which there is no division after victory. They ran away from revanchism like a prime minister from a vaccine and extended a hand to a neighbor even when he openly wants the Government to cower like someone's cow. Everything was as transparent as on shared Facebook profiles, and the three religions were separated from the state as in the Constitution or a civil fairy tale. The community rose to its feet, pleasing both God and the Brussels administrator.
And then it took a wrong turn somewhere in Albuquerque, and the winning family grabbed each other's necks like starlets in "The Farm." Aleksa has been at odds with Dritana for a long time, and Dritana appears less and less in public with Zdravka. The supporters of Zdravko no longer even follow him on Twitter, and the ministers are begging the saints and escobars to reconcile the leaders and everything will be like before. The brothers from Front are looking for a living room, while they offer laundry rooms and garages in depth. They tell them that the house is already full of experts and that the western tenants are afraid of Raj's uncle from Moscow. While the quarrels over the living room continue, the notorious neighbor prone to political and all other contraband secretly corresponds with the younger members of the household. Experienced in political adultery, he counts on youth-craziness and offers towers and minorities. To enter the house through an extramarital union, disperse the experts and restore the right of occupancy. Before the mediators from Brussels and Washington reconcile the household at least until the election.
During that time, young ministers do not sit idle, but choose sides and write plans, of which 2022 is promising as a horoscope forecast. Aware that after the refresh the voters are prone to esotericism, they turn from experts into alchemists who raise wages and reduce unemployment. With magical formulas that make mortals' eyes shine like hedges, pensions grow and contributions disappear. Populist legislative proposals put a smile back on the face of mothers of three or more children, and the minimum price of labor jumps like a heart in girls when they look at the young minister. Those less skilled in economics but well-known in marketing, fill prisons with clan leaders and take pictures with ambassadors. When the hand of justice confiscates all the drugs and smuggled cigarettes, they chase the gravel haulers and guard the rivers. Together, they employ daughters-in-law and daughters-in-law in depth, to at least pretend to be pots and cats in ministerial offices.
But since the parents' obligation is not only to employ their children but also to protect them from the trauma of marital disputes, these Montenegrins would have to take care of the mental health of the voters. Because the nerves are thin from living on fakes and unfulfilled promises. Their heads are hot from waiting for changes, so children are less tolerant of empty words and even emptier pockets. And since the fuse of the politically weak is getting shorter and shorter, maybe the leaders should think about a moratorium on divorce. If they are not ready to give love a second chance and hug each other like they used to, they could at least offer a hand of reconciliation. Milan to let the Prime Minister/Professor drive the Government on this path for at least another 200-300 days. Professor to forget Med's Twitter conspiracies and Marina's curses, as much as the census and lustration law. Dritan on all networks to block the notorious neighbor and embrace Aleksa like the long-ago Podgorica spring of 2018. Like in every honest house, to read the marshal's plans under the Christmas tree, and for Montenegro to become a place to which everyone returns as young ministers. Instead of divorce, they should talk about family expansion - minorities or some other healthy tissue.
If they can't do that, let them part nicely as civilized partners and look for new loves in the elections. Because if they continue to destroy this little political family or form an extramarital union with neighborhood committees - the ruling leaders could get divorced in the streets. And then neither God nor the Brussels saints will save them from angry children.
Bonus video:
