It's nice to hear the director of Monstat say that the list is passing with angels. The people respect the messages of politicians and religious leaders who order that census days be spent in peace. It is also a statistical formality and a guide for the executive branch, not gathering the army to change the Constitution. That's why these mild days are not looking for heroes and brawlers, but honest hosts who respect census customs. And the statistical tradition dictates that the enumerator be met as a native. It is introduced into the house as a position holder or a grandfather with a Bajram bank. He is served food and drink, as well as statistics.
In accordance with customs, identity issues are determined first. The glass is raised and, in the language our ancestors spoke to us, he tells the enumerator what kind of people we are and how we pray to God. Tradition dictates that the host answers on behalf of the whole family, honestly as if he were in front of St. Peter. Because the enumerator is no longer a soldier of the Serbian world who should be boycotted, but a Monstat company under software control. He must not transfer our family to Čačak, because commissions and parliamentary committees are watching over him. While others keep watch, it is his job to step on the rivers and clean up the garbage until he lists all the more and less represented peoples in Montenegro.
When the identity is misled in the census, it is customary to share it on social networks. It is necessary to announce to friends scattered from Facebook to Tik-tok that we are in our religion and in our country. The nobles and party comrades should know that we did not sell our language and religion for a civic dinner. However, we arranged the entire families in Monstat's Excel tables so that the percentages that will make our family better off will grow from them. Because the right of the stronger rules in Montenegro, even when it is written in the Constitution that it is democratic and civil.
When we repay the people and our ancestors, we can also satisfy the Government with less important statistical details. Because the census is not only gender and God, but also state strategies. The prime minister who says that the census data will be useful for making key decisions for the future of the country should also be respected. We should also listen to Aleksa's message that participation in the census is a reflection of love for the homeland.
That's why in these mild census days, we should fully admit how much we love every karst and bramble of Montenegro. We should admit to the enumerators that our hearts and social networks are full of mountains, blue sea and all historical toponyms. By which we carefully unload old three-seaters, crates and everything that remains from renovated bathrooms. Let's admit to the enumerator that the room is the warmest when heated with stolen wood, and the building is worthless only when it is illegal.
Let it be recorded in Monstat's archives that we can't wait for that average salary of one thousand euros, while we spend our working hours with our baby or our boss on our knees. We visit condolence centers and boutiques even after a break, but at least at work we catch the bugs. Parties look for us in their offices like the holy grail, because our sick days last until retirement. Then we come home tired from work, so the hand easily flies on family members and the apartments become UFC hexagons.
We should also admit to the enumerators that we walk around the supermarket as if we were walking through a shopping mall. We mostly look at the racks and buy only the discounted ones. We pay for vegetables at the market as if they were from the Garden of Eden and not from Zeta, and fish costs as if it fulfills three wishes. That's why we live on macaroni and rice, and we buy dried meat in small quantities as if it were cocaine. We follow vintage fashion styles until our jackets and shoes fall apart.
Let them know in Monstat that we left native forests and garbage for a couple of square meters in Stari and in the City Quarter, but we never liked the capital. In Bokeška, we are like Sting in New York, because the aristocracy of Staro Podgorica despises us and forces us to choose only company with the same accent. Even though we don't smell like the indigenous people of Podgorica, we share the common values of parking cars on boulevards and roundabouts. Together, we occupy the sidewalks and lawns, where urban residents walk their dogs and leave poop like landmines.
And when we see off the Monstat official, it is customary to congratulate family members on the census. We fulfilled the legacy of our ancestors and settled the Government, political parties and other clergy with personal data. After that, it's time to pray for the progress of the race, a change in the Constitution or at least for victory fireworks. If the celebratory atmosphere continues even after the announcement of the census results, we can ask the leaders for some kind of development strategy. So that we were counted only because of our ancestors.
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