Ten years ago, today it is convenient to recall that long-forgotten pointless nonsense, a long-forgotten pointless discussion was held in the Parliament about a long-forgotten pointless foundation called Croatian House. The law on the establishment of the Foundation, "intended to promote Croatian culture, heritage and language, and work with Croatian minorities abroad", was thought up by the government of Zoran Milanović, and adopted by the then SDP parliamentary majority.
"If this law came sixty years ago, then I would say that it is in line with the trends," commented Jasen Mesić of the then opposition, long-forgotten scumbag HDZ in the Parliament, while the long-forgotten scumbag Dujomir Marasović reminded how "for those things we already have Matica Hrvatska and the State Office for Croats outside Croatia".
About ten years later, a few months ago - it's convenient to remember today that already forgotten nonsense - HDZ president and Croatian Prime Minister Andrej Plenković visited Serbia and ceremonially opened the Croatian House in Subotica. "One of the basic constitutional tasks of the Government of the Republic of Croatia, its departments and the Central State Office for Croats outside Croatia is to support Croats living outside their homeland," Plenković said inspiredly, adding that "our concern for Croatian minorities is constant and continuous, because their a position of special interest for the Croatian Government and the country".
The house in Subotica was not, however, the first Croatian house that - after suddenly discovering that Matica hrvatska and the State Office for Croats outside Croatia were not enough - was built and ceremonially opened by the HDZ government. These days, one small-town scandal reminded me of another one, probably the most Croatian of all Croatian houses, which was solemnly opened four years ago in - Makarska.
In Hungary?
No, no, the Croatian House in Hungary was opened in Pécs six years ago. This Croatian house is in Makarska. Makarska.
In Makarska, Croatia, near Split?!
Yes, in the Croatian Makarska near Split.
Croatian house in Makarska?
Wait until you hear the story.
After Makarska was concreted and choked with ten thousand more or less illegally built apartments, the local city authorities - having discovered that there are as many as a thousand apartments and apartments in which no human foot has ever set foot - concluded that Makarska lacks only one more modern, modern apartment building . So, four years ago, a residential building with thirty apartments was built in Zadarska street in the Zelenka area, stop and look: ground floor and five floors, doors with electronic locks, underground garage, balconies with glass fences and a beautiful view of the neighboring apartment building. It is no wonder that all thirty apartments got their owners very quickly.
However, what makes it a Croatian house?
Eh, for what.
These days, several tenants of the building in Zadarska Street are complaining to Slobodna Dalmacija journalist Dijana Turić about the guy who, together with family members, godfathers and friends, bought more than half of the apartment. His clan, of course, bought the apartments only to rent them out in the summer, none of them live there or ever intended to live there, but the master was still - with an easy majority - elected as the tenant's representative. So he seduced traditional Croatian sovereignty, turning a generic apartment silo on Zelenka into a classic Croatian house.
What does traditional Croatian omnipotence look like in one residential building? The traditional Croatian omnipotence in a residential building looks like the said representative of the tenant appoints his son-in-law as the manager of the building, and the latter first terminates all communication with all tenants outside the circle of family, godfathers and friends of the "majority" owner, and disposes of the funds from the mandatory reserve in authentic Croatian way.
What does the disposal of public money look like in an authentic Croatian way? Disposing of public money in an authentic Croatian way looks like the mandatory reserve is paid into the foreign account of the representatives of the manager's son-in-law, and the latter together with the representative, family members, godparents and friends - considering that they do not need the apartments for living, but only for seasonal rental - they simply refuse to sign an inter-ownership agreement and make a building maintenance plan, completely ignoring the needs of permanent residents, such as outdoor lighting and video surveillance.
And if they agree to pay something from the joint reserve in the son-in-law's account, it works the way public procurement works in Croatia.
How does public procurement work in Croatia? Public procurement in Croatia works so that, for example, a wire cage for waste disposal, which can be bought in Makarska for less than four hundred euros, is bought through the company of one of the representative's friends and godfathers from the building, who will then pay for it abroad for almost seven times more - two and a half thousand euros! Or that, as far as I know, a street lamp, which costs less than one hundred euros in Croatia, is bought for more than six hundred euros through the same friend and "roommate" abroad.
Classic, I said, Croatian story.
So in the classic Croatian story, do permanent tenants have the right to vote? In principle, the permanent tenants in the classic Croatian story have no rights, including the right to vote. They do not, for example, have the right even to the underground garage owned by representatives of family and friends, even though it is completely empty in the off-season. Every such need of theirs is flatly ignored by the tenant's representative and his son-in-law manager, and every proposal, request or request is flatly rejected by their family-godfather majority, even threatening legal action.
In short, I don't know of a more Croatian Croatian House than the apartment Croatian House in Zadarska Street in Makarska. If we reduced today's HDZ's Croatia to a single residential building, it would look exactly like a new five-story building on Zelenka in Makarska. That is why the Croatian House gave it to the soul that, as part of the pre-election campaign, Andrej Plenković and his family, friends and godfathers would visit her, so that the Croatian House Foundation - Croatian House would pay a couple of million euros into the son-in-law's account, "intended", as it were, for "promotion Croatian culture, heritage and language, and work with Croatian minorities abroad".
Yes, you will say, but "abroad".
Yes, I will say, but to "Croatian minorities".
Excellent, you will say, but a "Croatian minority" does not exist when someone is an outvoted minority in Croatia, but only when the minority, as the word itself says, consists of Croats as such.
Excellent, I'll say it: in the wonderful, authentic Croatian story about the Croatian House in Makarska, the disenfranchised minority of tenants are locals, that is, Croats, while the majority of tenants, including the representative of the tenant and his family, friends, godfathers and the manager's son-in-law himself, are Poles. from Germany!
An enterprising clique of German Poles bought, namely, most of the apartments in the building, then voted one German Pole as the representative of the tenants, and appointed another German Pole as the manager of the building, so that through the third German Pole they launder money from the budget and spend it in Germany and Poland.
"Croatian culture, heritage and language"? Yes, and the language: the Croatian tenant minority communicates with the Polish tenant representative by email through a German email address, in German, with the help of a German Google translator.
Croatia is here, to make it short, just a house. Not, clearly, because it is Croatian, but because it is called that.
"Our concern for the Croatian minorities is constant and continuous, because their position is of special interest to the Croatian Government and the country," Plenković would say in the company of Mr. representative of the tenant and his brother-in-law, ceremonially opening a modern new garbage disposal cage in front of the five-story apartment building in Makarska.
It is the most Croatian, I said, of all the houses that the Croatian state has ever built and opened: half-empty and dark, owned by foreigners, run by a corrupt clique, with the budget in the son-in-law's account abroad.
Croatian house.
Bonus video:
