"Matica Hrvatska prepared a draft and proposed to the Government of the Republic of Croatia that the Law on the Croatian Language be passed, which was voted by the Croatian Parliament on January 26, 2024."
That's what the text in gold letters carved into the black marble slab ceremonially unveiled last week in the courtyard of Matica Hrvatska, in the presence of Minister of Culture Nina Obuljen Koržinek, Minister of Education Radovan Fuchs and Prime Minister Andrej Plenković, who on that occasion rated the Croatian Language Law as "one of the most important in the last convocation of the Parliament".
And that's about all you need to know about the Motherland of Croatia, the Croatian language and culture, the Croatian Government, the Parliament and the Croatian state as such.
To begin with, let's read one more time - it's never too much - the sentence engraved in gold script on the plaque in the courtyard of Matica Hrvatska: "Matica Hrvatska prepared a draft and proposed to the Government of the Republic of Croatia that the Law on the Croatian Language be passed, which was voted by the Croatian Parliament on January 26, 2024." What kind of foolishness is this, what is it anyway: Matica hrvatska drafted and proposed the Law on the Croatian Language? How - I'm interested - did one incidental administrative sentence from the folder with the report on the work of Matica Hrvatska for the year 2023 end up with golden letters carved into marble?
Equally, in the courtyard of the Matica, they could ceremonially unveil a memorial plaque on which it would be written in golden letters, I have no idea, "The number of events in the Central Matica Hrvatska in 2023 increased by three hundred percent compared to the previous year, and by four hundred percent, the presence in the media increased". Or, as I know, "Expenditures of Matica Hrvatska for 2023 are planned in the amount of HRK 12.304.100, which is almost 14% more than in 2022". Or, you understood, "Matica hrvatska drafted and proposed to the Government of the Republic of Croatia that the Law on the Croatian language be passed, which was voted by the Croatian Parliament on January 26, 2024."
If Matica Hrvatska decided to print the entire annual report with gold printing on black marble, by God they would need an expenditure a little more than twelve million three hundred thousand kuna, and much, much more than fourteen percent more.
What kind of foolishness is this and what is it at all, explained, however, the president of Matica Hrvatska and the most untalented contemporary Croatian writer, Miro Gavran: "By erecting this memorial plaque, we want to thank the generations of patriots, linguists, writers and intellectuals who held the Croatian language close to their hearts, and the idea of Croatian linguistic self-awareness as a component of designing cultural and national identity."
Maybe I'm stupid, I probably am, I allow for the possibility, but I would like to be informed how exactly the sentence that "Matica Hrvatska drafted and proposed to the Government the Law on the Croatian Language" expresses nothing less than "gratitude to the generations of patriots and intellectuals who was the Croatian language on the heart"?
That the drones from Matica Hrvatska really wanted to express what they call "gratitude to the generations of patriots, linguists, writers and intellectuals who held the Croatian language close to their hearts, and the idea of Croatian linguistic self-awareness as a component of designing cultural and national identity", that in Matica there are at least passively intelligent, if not talented writers - or if there were any writers at all - then the memorial plaque would simply say "Matica hrvatska raises it as a sign of gratitude to generations of patriots, linguists, writers and intellectuals who held the Croatian language close to their hearts , and the idea of Croatian linguistic self-awareness as a component of designing cultural and national identity".
The best and most precise thing that this shell of Croatian intelligence, culture, self-awareness and identity came up with expressing its deep gratitude to the generations of patriots and intellectuals who held the Croatian language close to their hearts was, however, just a simple extended sentence as "Matica hrvatska drafted and proposed The Government Law on the Croatian Language".
Thanks where heard and where not heard, roared that night from the Mirogoj arcades.
For those of you for whom the language is not in the heart, but in the mouth, and for whom the ideas from the annual report of the Matica Hrvatska, such as the one about Croatian linguistic self-awareness, are not particularly high on the list of components of creating a cultural identity, it remains therefore to get hold of Mir Gavran's collected works and all of them read it again, this time a little more carefully and concentrated. If, namely, the short sentence "Matica Hrvatska drafted and proposed to the Government the Law on the Croatian Language" actually expresses "gratitude to generations of patriots and intellectuals who held the Croatian language close to their hearts, and the idea of Croatian linguistic self-awareness as a component of designing cultural and national identity". , God alone knows what all those thousands of Gavran's sentences express and all those plays and novels of his that you so shallowly and stupidly thought expressed nothing at all.
You would understand then what you were not given to understand, and that is not only the meaning of a single notice on the memorial board in the yard of Matica Hrvatska, but also the Law on the Croatian Language itself, something the most surprising and the most ingenious - is it presumptuous to say: the stupidest? – what ever came out of Matica's yard. If, instead of the memorial plaque, you had read the Law in which it is proud, you would not only understand why its text is meaningless: you would also understand why nothing else but meaningless would make sense.
Exactly, namely, just as the memorial plaque in the yard of Matica Hrvatska for some unfathomable reason announces that "Matica Hrvatska drafted and proposed to the Government the Law on the Croatian Language", so the Law on the Croatian Language as written and proposed to the Government by Matica Hrvatska from some for an unclear reason, announces that "oral and written communication in public life in Croatia takes place in the Croatian language", and clarifies that "public use of the Croatian standard language is considered any oral or written language notice in a space intended for the public". In addition to twenty more such meaningless paragraphs, which, for example, "encourage the use of all functional styles of the Croatian standard language" and "do not limit the freedom of literary and artistic expression".
As far as I, as a layman in linguistics and law, managed to notice, the drones from Matica Hrvatska only missed to write a nice article that would precisely edit and in what way "Croatian standard language expresses gratitude to people who have the Croatian language in their heart, and the idea of Croatia linguistic self-awareness as a component of designing cultural and national identity". Certainly, there is room in the yard for a memorial plaque that will remind in gold print that "Matica Hrvatska drafted the amendment and proposed to the Government of the Republic of Croatia that the Law on Amendments and Amendments to the Law on the Croatian Language be passed".
But well, now at least we know what is "encouraged" and "not restricted" by the Law on the Croatian Language. Let's see, however, what it prohibits or restricts: every law prohibits and restricts something, prohibitions and restrictions are the very purpose and meaning of the law as such. And the Law on the Croatian Language prohibits and restricts, let's say, just a little check, mostly it prohibits and restricts, let's see, one more moment please, here it is - so the Law on the Croatian Language does not prohibit or restrict anything at all: it is the only one a law in the entire world history of legislation that prohibits nothing and has no built-in sanction for its violation.
Then why that law? Good question: nothing, of course, why would the Law on the Croatian Language be needed anyway? To prescribe how, I have no idea, "oral and written communication in public life in Croatia takes place in the Croatian language"?
A memorial plaque announcing that "Matica Hrvatska drafted and proposed to the Government of the Republic of Croatia to enact a law" announcing that "oral and written communication in public life in Croatia takes place in the Croatian language" - generally "one of the most important of the law in the last convocation of the Parliament" – that, as I said, is everything you need to know about the Motherland of Croatia, the Croatian language and culture, the Croatian Government, the Parliament and the Croatian state as such.
Like what?
As completely meaningless, what else?
Bonus video:
