BALKAN

How to win elections, easy as beans

Before the elections, you only need to make an effort to convince those whom you have impoverished that only you can lift them out of poverty, but also defend them from these others, you know very well who

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Illustration, Photo: Shutterstock
Illustration, Photo: Shutterstock
Disclaimer: The translations are mostly done through AI translator and might not be 100% accurate.

The recipe for political success in Bosnia and Herzegovina is as simple as a Bosnian pot.

The ingredients go more or less in this order

You have been systematically making people poor for decades, through extortion, privatization, corruption, and the sale of natural resources.

In this way, you can enrich a multimillionaire's life by up to 1%.

With the way you conduct politics, you consciously disgust the politics of half of the population, 50% of them, so much so that their elections stink and they never even think about running.

The public service that you privatized helps you in this, even though it is run like ours.

Before the elections, you only need to make an effort to convince those whom you have impoverished that only you can lift them out of poverty, but also defend them from these others, you know very well who they are.

Yes, defend, war is the main ingredient of any successful campaign story, and locate the enemy. With that, you agree with others how and when to attack each other.

In this persuasion that you are the One, in addition to public services and most other media, you help the money of these 1% by enriching them.

Mostly in cash.

Now comes the main thing, it is important that you win from 15 to 17% of the votes of those who come out and that is enough to rule with all 100% of the population.

Oh yes, you rule sweetly even with the 50% who don't vote, but they say that politics doesn't concern them, so they don't even notice. I mean, they lie, you notice, but it sounds better when they say, you know, I'm apolitical. You guessed it, they are the sweetest ingredient in the pot.

You secure the largest number of those 15-17% votes by making voters dependent on you and your party between the elections, which are held every two years, by employing them in legal entities on the budget, or in private companies dependent on you and the budget. These are the people who have to vote for you. For the second part, you put in 3-4% effort, you fake a campaign and debate, democracy, and what you catch is called floating votes, and you steal the rest on election day itself.

And then for the next two years until the next election, everything is as usual, yes, because it doesn't matter if it's local or general elections, you definitely get votes on topics that have nothing to do with life.

There.

I'm telling you, easy as beans.

Bonus video:

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