Robi K.'s Notebook: Filming

Lidija's mother from the nursery was at Aunt Mirja's in the fruit shop. Lidija's mother rolled her eyes: "A hundred euros for a kilo of zucchini?! A hundred euros?!" Aunt Mirja told her: "I'm just selling, honey! I don't set the price!" Lidija's mother yelled: "The fucking gods, yes, that fucking thing! That gang will wipe us to the grave!" Aunt Mirja said: "And how is it for me! I sleep among fruit and vegetables all day long, and I can't even afford a single carrot!" Lidija's mother said: "My Lidija has been on bread and butter for a year now! And from now on I won't be able to buy her even that!" Aunt Mirja said: "And that fat pig from the government says that if it's expensive, we can bake our own bread at home! Can you believe that?!" Lidija's mother growled: "You know what, I can't stand this anymore! I'm sick of them!" Aunt Mirja said: "Me too!" Lidija's mom turned to leave and shouted: "I'll fuck those bandits all on the list!" Aunt Mirja said: "Wait for me, I'll come with you too!"

That Dino's dad is at home, sitting at the table and looking at some paper. He said, "What is this, man of God?" Dean's mom said to him, "The electric bill! What are you wondering!" Dean's dad said, "How can my electric bill be more than my salary?" Dean's mom said, "Don't ask me that, ask that monster with two kilos of gel in his hair!" Dean's dad asked : "Which monster?" Dino's mom said: "A monster at the head of the government!" Dino's dad asked: "The one with a salary of hundreds of thousands of euros?" Dino's mom said: "That one! He doesn't care what his electricity bill is! And they will turn it off for us, because there is no way we can pay your bill! Let's warm ourselves up this winter with suvers and storks!" Dino's dad shouted: "Well, what more do you want a monster and his crew than us?" Dino's mom said: "I think we'll all be crazy! It's an ideal combination for him - he's in power, and the people are in the cemetery!" Dino's dad shouted: "You know what, I can't stand this anymore! My dick is full of them!” Then he jumped her and rushed her towards the door. Dean's mom said, "Wait for me, I'm with you!"

That teacher Smilja was in the assembly hall. She was chatting with that teacher Lucija from the Bekavac. Teacher Smilja said: "Have you seen the sick person, please? He takes out a gun and shoots through the car window! And the camera is recording it!" Teacher Lucija said: "Mr. Minister, man! A square-jawed Đikan!" Teacher Smilja said: "And the teachers are surprised when the kids look up to them, and come to school with guns, knives and Kalashnikovs!" Teacher Lucija said: "And who will give a fuck? Teachers and school staff, understand! Have you seen that janitor Jera? Everyone thinks he's getting fat, and the guy wears a bulletproof vest under his shirt! He shits like a turtledove!" Teacher Smilja said: "Don't tell me anything! I tiptoe into class! And don't even look at those Robi and Dino, let alone ask them anything! I wouldn't be surprised if they were armed to the teeth!" Teacher Lucija said: "Oh my! The kids see the ministers getting carried away, so why wouldn't they too!" Teacher Smilja said: "Oh yes! In normal countries the state fights the mafia, but in Croatia the mafia runs the state!" Teacher Lucija said: "But teachers have salaries that they can't even pay for utilities! And they go to the battlefield on their jobs!" Teacher Smilja said: "You know what, I can't stand this anymore! I'm sick of them!" Then she ran towards the door of the assembly hall. Teacher Lucija said: "Wait for me, I'm coming for you too!"

That Kragić from the third floor sat in front of the television and watched the news. The old man on the news was saying: "My government has raised the standard of Croatian citizens to the maximum! The gross domestic product is constantly growing..." Kragić jumped up in the hotel: "Fuck you, you lying gross social bitch! Do you hear, woman, what these little rascals are doing?" Kragić's wife said: "He's doing the same thing every day! Or rather, every hour!" Kragić said: "No matter how much I screw up the television, he pops out of it!" Kragić's wife said: "So what is Hateve? And Hateve is a household brainwashing machine!" Kragić said: "Is this North Korea, for God's sake? Where is the freedom of the media?" Kragić's wife said: "As far as freedom of the media is concerned, you are only free to press the red button on the remote control and shut the door with your rascals! But it's not certain that they won't talk about the vacuum cleaner or the iron!" Kragić jumped to his feet and shouted: "You know what, I can't stand this anymore! I'm sick of them!" Then he ran towards the door. Kragićka called out: "Wait for me, I'm coming for you too!"

Teica's mom was at the hospital with Teica's grandfather. A crowd gathered in the waiting room. Then the nurse at the counter said to Teica's mom: "Here, you have an appointment for January 8th!" Teica's mom asked: "How can my dad go to the appointment on January 8th when it's already the twentieth?" The nurse said: "January 8th next year, ma'am!" Teica's mom chirped: "You idiot! That's in a year!" The nurse said: "That's right, ma'am!" Teica's mom shouted: "My father could have died by then!" The nurse said: "I didn't invent the waiting lists, ma'am! I'm just a stupid nurse at the counter!" Then Teica's mom burst out laughing: "What kind of bandit state is this, you bastard!? It deliberately kills its own citizens!" The crowd in the waiting room nodded their heads. The nurse pulled the glass on the counter. Then Teica's grandfather raised his stick and shouted: "If I'm going to die waiting on the waiting list anyway, it's better to give my life for freedom! I can't take this anymore! I'm fed up with them!" Then he started towards the door. Then one of the aunts from the waiting room followed him and said: "Me too!" Another said: "Me too!" A third said: "Me too!" A fourth said: "Me too!"...

My grandfather and I were walking along the waterfront by the ferry. A column of a million people was heading towards us. They were waving their fists and shouting: “Down with the government!… Down with the gang of robbers!… Eat shit!… The people elected you, the people will overthrow you!” Plus they were waving their banners. The banners read: “Death to the ruling mafia!… Resignation! Resignation!!!… We want bread and freedom!… Get off your back, monkey!… Enough of your oppression and nonsense!” I asked my grandfather: “Who is this group, grandfather?” Grandpa said: “Those are the angry citizens, my grandson! They’ve had enough of the corrupt government, so now they want to overthrow the reign of terror and tyranny! Are you picking?” I said: “I’m picking!” Grandpa said: “Thank God, the Croats have finally woken up! It must be that the peace has ended very well!" I asked: "Why do you say finally, grandpa?" Dida said: "Because since Croats are known as shotokucini! They used to die, but they rebelled against the authorities... But now, to be honest, they have come back to life! The only thing is, all these tramsparemts are in the portapak!" I asked: "What portapak? So where are they going?" Dida said: "On the bus to Belgrade!"

Robbie K. (IIIa)

(Peščanik.net)