The head of parliament declared a day of joy and called on voters to rejoice. Changes are coming as after the historic August, and this generation of politicians has finally got a chance to leave something for posterity. When they haven't managed to turn on those sprinklers and clean up the judiciary, at least they will use Arab money to make a miracle out of Montenegro. And miracles are already happening because of that money. The retired and current prime minister are praising the project in Ulcinj in unison as if it were their common interest, and the head of parliament is regretting in front of the cameras that he doubted investments from the octopus era. And he reminds his young colleague that a serious investor is closer than a relative.
While the gray head from the agreement with the Emirates, as from a lamb shoulder, predicts a happy future, the young prime minister has started the space shuttle and is ready to take us to seventh heaven. Those who are used to standing still had better prepare a paper bag or close their eyes, because this country is preparing a new dynamic and turbo speed that will make their pupils dilate. It has been going at a snail's pace for too long for the prime minister with his foot on the gas to wait any longer. After all, our Mickey can drive with his eyes closed, so it's not a big deal if he steps on a few laws and local authorities along the way.
And since the parliament has unexpectedly ratified the historic agreement on the sale of the state, he can now kick into gear and burn the government of two-thirds brotherhood and unity at full throttle.
After another vote in the wee hours, MPs could consider shortened sessions of the parliament. So that the government does not lose momentum, the parliament could vote on WhatsApp in the future. It is better for voters to listen to jazz and classical music on the parliamentary channel than to go to humanity and honesty, after which MPs vote for everything that is shoved under their stuffy noses. Of course, in parliament, control hearings and amendments are squeezed out like from a dry oak tree, while MPs remain silent or perform stand-up performances.
The members of parliament may be hibernating, but the bots and government fanzines are working in three shifts. They fiercely defend Arab investors and cut down anyone who doubts the good intentions of the government. They drag civil activists who have not become mute due to Trump's sanctions through a warm rabbit hole and reenact the dirty campaigns of media ignoramuses. Then after the party they distance themselves and falsely express disgust like the father of a bully at a parents' meeting. This time, our Western friends are not surprised and offended by the violation of European rules, but remain silent like when lithium is mentioned in Serbia.
Westerners are not advertising, but Sheikh Alabar is appearing in the media, spreading love and giving motivational speeches. He is not a wealthy man intent on concrete-paving the beaches, but a philanthropist and lover of greenery who will pull us out of poverty. He may not have the intention of investing 35+ billion, but he is ready to prepare a rendering of Dubai on Velika Plaza for us any day now. That the young prime minister has something to wave at government meetings and shows the people of Ulcinj where they will be able to sell shampoo and chicken. Our sheikh is transparent and has no business with the security guard Dahlan, even though they saved babies in Palestine together. He comes to Montenegro as a good guest who will respect other people's ancestral heritage and the laws that we ourselves have renounced.
But if the sheikh tries to swindle like the local players, there are various agencies that will come to stop the rich and powerful. They are not filled with party scoundrels or former octopus soldiers who repented with their three fathers, but with local versions of Eliot Ness and Hercule Poirot who can smell dirty money a mile away. While they are on guard, there is no chance that the beaches and mountains will be bought by state-building families or heroes of Skye hidden under Arab skirts. And where the agencies falter, there is the Montenegrin judiciary. Ready to punish anyone who breaks the law, just as it punished for the envelope, cocaine-bananas and state-owned apartments.
And we will watch as they drive us to those ants, while everything that was promised in August 2020 turns into a farce.
Because young experts are now officially matchmakers who are stealing state property in WhatsApp sessions, while spinning fake billions in a circle before our eyes. Former angry oppositionists and fighters for justice are now knee-deep in adopting laws and shoehorning anyone who thinks of opposing them. They are spinning on the state manger and selling sacred things that this time are defended only by ecological populists. In the meantime, the octopus is mutating, taking over parties and supposedly reformed institutions. To step on the gas with the other driver and continue to dispose of other people's suffering.
While they drive at turbo speed, we can only hope that we don't fall off a curve. Or we could at least take the wheel once and prevent a head-on collision that is increasingly certain.
Bonus video:
