My grandfather and I from Šolta went down to the pier and dipped our feet in the sea. Dida was repairing the wire on the top with a screwdriver. I counted the scallions and mint leaves in the yellow bucket. Dida sighed and said: "You can't believe it!" "The third world war will begin, and the second one hasn't even ended yet!" I sighed too and took the larger pomegranates out of the bucket to dry on the pier. Dida said: "You're pretending not to hear what I'm saying, huh?" Is that Tamara from Begiš still hanging around in your head? I asked: "What are you talking about, Grandpa?" Grandpa said: "The Third World War will begin, and the Second World War hasn't even ended yet!" We're going to have two wars at once, for God's sake!" I asked: "How come the second one didn't end, grandpa?" Grandpa said: "And how is it? Did the Partisans win the war? They are! And are the Ustasha in power today? They are! So is that a normal end to the war, please?" I shrugged and said: "I don't know, grandpa!" Grandpa said: "It's just that the Partisans won with the help of armed force, and the Ustashas with the help of democratic elections! That was a mess, you understand! That should be a lesson for the third world war! " I asked: "What lesson, Grandpa?" Grandpa said: "If you defeat the enemy with armed force, you must not let him regain his lost positions through democratic elections! Are you picking?" I remained silent and stared at the old man with a blank stare. Dida said: "Then you didn't just fool around tactically, but strategically too!" Well, you can't change the rules of the game when a war has already been won, you fucking goat! It's like beating someone in football, leading by three to zero, and then they beat you in water polo! Isn't that stupid, grandson?" I said: "It's stupid to the point of being stupid, grandpa!" Grandpa sighed and said: "My god, that would have happened if Comrade Tito had stayed alive!" My lady, I still can't believe she died so stupidly..." I asked: "Why did she die?" Dida said: "By mistake, that's why! That was a capital blunder!” I asked: “Was he old?” Dida said: “What the hell, he's not even ninety! He could have lasted until today if those around him hadn't been getting on his nerves! It'll just be a movie, so she said she's going to go, and you guys are screwed! "It's good, too, the river!" Then the old man hit the wire from the pot and cried out. Then he put his thumb in his mouth to taste the blood. After the pomegranates, I took the larger ones out of the bucket to dry. Dida said: "And the Third World War will begin, and we don't have a comrade Tito!" We'll grab three hundred smits!" I asked: "Why will we grab, grandpa?" Grandpa said: "While comrade Tito was alive, we fought on the side of the winners! And now that he's gone, we'll be among the defeated!" I asked: "And who will win the Third World War, Grandpa?" Grandpa said: "Nobody, grandson! There will be about twenty-three atomic bombs on the planet, and we will all go forward!” I asked: “Then how can comrade Tito help me?” Dida said: “No way, because he is no longer alive, now I will explain it to you! Are you going crazy?" I asked: "What if he was alive?" Dida said: "Eeee, that would be a different story then..." I asked: "What story, dida?" Dida said: "What story, what story... For starters, I would call that Netanyahu in Israel. I would say to him: Okay, Netanyahu, what the fuck is wrong with you? These guys would go and pretend to be crazy: What do you mean, Comrade Tito? Comrade Tito would say to him: What are you sleeping for, my dear! In World War II, the Germans and the Ustashas committed genocide against the Jews, and now they are cheering for you while you commit genocide against the Palestinians! Is that normal for you? These people would act crazy again: What is normal, comrade Tito? Comrade Tito would be even more snarky: So you take your executioners as allies! Netanyahu would say: Don't get involved in that, comrade Tito, I was born after World War II! Comrade Tito would say: Well, you know, that was a big mistake! You can't start World War III, you idiot, without mastering the material from the second one! Netanyahu would be confused: So what should I do now, Comrade Tito? Comrade Tito would tell him: Come to me tomorrow on Brioni, and I'll explain everything to you! At that point, Netanyahu would whine: Oh, I can't, Comrade Tito, I have a lot of work to do... Comrade Tito would press him: Don't be a jerk, Netanyahu, the world won't collapse if you don't bomb Gaza for one day! Plus, Trump and Putin will come here! Nathanael is surprised: Where are you going?! Trump and Putin are coming?! Comrade Tito would say: A natural thing! I told Ranković to gather all three of you with Galebon in Bari in the morning and bring you to Brioni! Netanyahu would tweet: See you, comrade Tito! And there you go..." Then the grandfather continued to fix the wire on the top with a screwdriver. I rushed in: "And?" Dida said: "What and?" I asked: "What happened on Brijuni?" Dida said: "What happened, what happened... Comrade Tito comes out on the terrace in front of Villa Jadranka, drinks Civas, smokes a Cuban cigar, cools his face with a bottle of Spancer and says to Kardelj: Okay, where are they now? I brought Tereza to have a beer, Karapanja to cook a stew of monkfish and lobster, and now they are gone! Well, I'm not going to just hum along, damn it! Kardelj whined: Looks like something's screwed up, comrade Tito... But then Tereza bursts in: Can I pour you another Civas, comrade Tito? Comrade Tito pushes her the bottle and says: Sorry, Tera, I was so excited to drink for Trump, Putin, and Netanyahu, and they're not here yet! Tereza says: As for that, comrade Tito, I can sing for Jovanka and Koki while I'm here! Comrade Tito says: Oh, that would be the first league! You go sing to them while I solve this thing with Kardelj! Then Teresa leaves with the Civason. Then comrade Tito turned to Kardelj: What did you just say, Edvard? Kardelj whined: It seems there has been a minor disruption to the timetable, Comrade Tito… Comrade Tito shouted: What disruption? Lipo San explained to Ranković that he should gather all three of them from Galebon in Bari and bring them here! Kardelj muttered: And you know yourself, comrade Tito, what kind of sailor Ranković is... At that moment, Tito was confused: I don't know, what kind of sailor is he? Kardelj says: "Instead of Brioni, he took them to Goli otok!"
Robbie K. (IIIa)
Bonus video:
