I recently had the opportunity to listen to a brief analysis of Montenegrin migration policy in a suburban hair salon. The hairdresser silently styled a blond boy's bangs while his father, in his late forties, loudly counted the Turkish restaurants in the neighborhood. Podgorica and the coast filled with Turks and cannot survive from their stores which he does not enter into on principle. He is a patriot, he says, and supports only the locals, and certainly the Turks too. they trade only with their ownThere are more and more of them in Montenegro every day, the analyst said, and when they become the majority, "they will slaughter us all."
But it wasn't just citizens who counted unsuitable foreigners in hair salons and cafes.
From faraway New York, the president worried about the country because foreigners prevent young people in Montenegro from working, and rents are skyrocketing. Oppositionists explained on Twitter that it's not just housing and dinner that are the problem, but religion is also at risk, because while the government is issuing residence permits, "the deep state is implementing silent Islamization." Podgorica, they say, already looks like Istanbul, and dark-skinned kebab masters are actually sleepers who are just waiting for "Erdogan to order them to revolt." In the next census, there will be more of them than Russians, so they can demand minority status and representation in an already crowded government.
And then, as Chekhov said on the Facebook quotes page, the gun hung on the media wall in the first act had to fire on the street in the third.
After the kidnappings and the film-like chases along the coast, the authorities reacted indifferently even after the drawing of cold weapons in Podgorica, so the citizens resorted to tried and tested methods - customary law when there is no other law. While the security sector was surprised by the crime when it was not its time, sewage poured out onto the streets from social networks. Twitter scumbags called for "getting rid of the vermin" and Turks were being chased out of the city's neighborhoods. And where there is a will, there is a way, so the People's Patrols appeared in the neighborhoods before the first police car. The evergreen from the nineties swept through the city, and the Minister of Police reported to the electorate on the street. He did not argue with the protesters like after Cetinje, but promised reform laws and lined up Turkish citizens against the wall.
Before another Turkish shop gets damaged, the government has introduced visas for Turks and forgotten to explain who was supposed to check the guest workers who are brandishing knives, laundering money and robbing compatriots in Montenegro. Instead, it has returned to regular activities and left the streets to volunteers ready to revise migration policy with batons.
In return, Montenegrin citizens have regained their well-paid jobs as food delivery people, and the domestic economy has been protected from foreign, foreign-style shops. We will now charge high rents only to our compatriots, and we will have to offer the ancestral property that we failed to sell to the Russians and Turks for local dirty money. Turkish criminals will not be waging war in Montenegro, but only indigenous clans whose shot soldiers we will find on local roads. And if someone has to beat us up in parking lots, let it be, as before, the local, drunken youth.
And before well-intentioned readers comment that Samir is sorry that the Turks are being driven out of Montenegro - I admit that they are right. Because the Turks were our chance to solve at least one historical problem in our homeland.
While there are unwanted foreigners in this country, the faithful people and the smaller nationalities have a chance to unite and bury traditional hatreds. Instead of hating each other, we have a unique opportunity to unite in hatred. There is no need to look at our neighbors with a frown, summon tractors and write resolutions when we can hate foreigners with all our hearts. Why should we heal our frustrations on social media, when we can come out and join like-minded people eager to lynch. Let us not divide ourselves into litiars and committees, but let us together make lists of the unfit and spy on the suspicious as during the pandemic. Because a fascist is a friend of whatever religion he was and he should be given a chance to breathe his last.
In such a Montenegro, like that analyst from the hair salon, we could shamelessly count foreigners and proudly move to the right. We would quote Charlie Kirk, glory and mercy to him, and promote traditional values in which there is no place for foreigners. No one would object to us interrupting film screenings and lining up ministers like fans of bad football players. We would chase dark-skinned foreigners through the halls and shout "Kill, slaughter" without fear that someone would misinterpret it. You see, they won't, because here we are all our own - fascists.
Bonus video:
