The Bomber Case

(Peščanik.net)

Our family went to my grandfather's house on Šolta for the weekend. Mom was cooking manistra with broad beans and beans for the visit. Grandpa said: "You have to go!" Mom asked: "Where are you going now? Lunch will be ready soon!" Grandpa said: "In a moment, to the Partisans! I'll be back in an hour!" Mom rolled her eyes. I rushed in: "Can I come with you, Grandpa?" Grandpa said: "You're too young to be in the Partisans! You're not even old enough to be a courier!" I burst out laughing: "Oh, please, Grandpa!" Grandpa said: "Okay! Take that bouquet of gerberas from my room, and let's go!"

Me, Grandpa, and his friend, Grandpa Tonino, were standing in front of the monument. There was a soldier on the monument with a bomb in his outstretched hand. Grandpa said to me: "That's our Bomber!" Grandpa Tonino said: "He's been trying to set off a bomb for the past seven years and he can't get his hands on it!" Grandpa said: "And the one aimed at the municipal building! Did you get it?" I said: "Did you get it!" Grandpa Tonino said: "But he doesn't give up! A will of steel!" Grandpa said: "Or rather, a marble one!"

Grandpa Tonino said: "Let's put some flowers so that Bombiša can celebrate the holiday in style!" I asked: "What holiday?" Grandpa said: "Grandson, if you don't know what holiday November 29th is, I'll send you home right away! And it's not out of the question that you should drink a glass of wine!" I said: "Of course I know, grandpa! It's just your sleep that's bothering you!" Grandpa said: "Okay, okay! I won't start questioning you now, lest you fall into a coma and despair!"

Then Bombiša said: "Tonino, would you please scratch me under my left knee? It's itching to get angry, I've been suffering since last night!" At first we stared at him in surprise. Then old man Tonino raised his stick and asked: "Here?" Bombiša said: "Here, here... a little to the right, a little to the right... oh my god thank you!" Old man Tonino said: "Anything for the revolution!"

Bombiša asked: "And who is this funny pioneer?" Dida said: "That's my grandson! I brought him here so he could see a little bit of what he doesn't learn in school!" Bombiša asked me: "Boy, when you grow up, would you rather be like Thompson or like Ivica Šerfezi?" I asked: "Who is Ivica Šerfezi?" Dida said: "That's what I was talking about! The glorious past is being forgotten! They screwed up entire generations!"

Barba Tonino asked: "What's new with you, Bombiša?" Bombiša said: "What can I tell you, last night some rascal peed under my pedestal!" Dida said: "What the hell? Who is that?" Bombiša said: "I didn't recognize him in the dark! I just dropped this bomb on his head! But he didn't fall asleep!" Barba Tonino said: "Peeing under a monument to a fallen soldier... That must be some tough Ustasha!" Bombiša said: "He should have said he was drunk as a stick!" Barba Tonino said: "Drunk Ustasha! The worst combination!"

Dida said: "You know what, when we catch him, he'll pay for it! And tomorrow Tonino and I will stretch a high-voltage wire around you!" Barba Tonino said: "That's right! A thousand volts and let it burn your ass!" Dida said: "Well, let's see who comes to piss on holy places then!" Bombiša said: "You can't put me on the wire, you fucking saint! It would feel like Auschwitz!" Dida said: "In this country, you already feel like Auschwitz!" Bombiša said: "You can't do that! After all, we have a free Croatia!"

Dida and Barba Tonino looked at Bombiša with a fierce astonishment. At first they were both silent. Then Barba Tonino asked: "What does that mean to you, Bombiša?" Bombiša said: "Yesterday a delegation from the municipality came to me, and they explained to me those things about Bleiburg! That horror, the horror and the horror..." Dida asked: "What the hell is that horror?" Bombiša said: "My dear, I wish I had died on Sutjeska, so I don't have to take part in that disgrace! Otherwise I would have been burned alive!" Barba Tonino shouted: "Bombiša, are you in your right mind?!"

Bombiša said: "And this whole thing about making up some kind of camp in Jasenovac is sickening to me too!" Dida shouted: "What's sick about you, fuck you?!" Bombiša said: "I wish the delegation from the municipality had opened my eyes! Molinte, the government opened a cultural center and a four-star hotel, and then the communists invented a story that there was a death camp there! Is that the way to do it?" Dida turned to Barba Tonino: "I can't listen to this anymore!" Barba Tonino said: "Neither can I! If I could get a hammer, they would unscrew the fuse from the bomb right now, so that it would fly off into the motherfucking world!"

Dida said: "Let's collect these gerberas and take them to the deceased women's graves! So that they don't stay with this asshole!" Barba Tonino said: "Let's go!" Then I collected the bouquets. Then we went to the cemetery to visit Barba Tonino's deceased grandmother and aunt Jakica. Dida said: "You can't believe it, man! They've brainwashed the monuments too!" Barba Tonino said: "Propaganda is spreading on terrifying scales!" Dida said: "First they fucked up the children and the youth, they locked them up in the Blackshirts, and then the dead partisans became the Ustashas!"

Then my mom tapped Grandpa on the shoulder: "Wake up, Chuck! The party's over!" Grandpa jumped out of the kitchen: "You're so stupid!" Mom asked: "What happened? Are you dreaming?" Grandpa rubbed his eyes: "Honey, you woke me up, you fucking idiot! He's dreaming that Bombiša is betraying us!" Mom asked: "Who's Bombiša?" Dad peeked around the door and said: "It's normal for him to hallucinate when he was drinking like a pussy in Bep's tavern last night!" Grandpa said: "A guy my age has the right to one more drink!" Dad said: "One more drink? You don't know what you're doing, man! Spiro from the police station brought you home in a patrol car! Both you and Tonina! He says he's hunting you in the mist like a gastrap!"

Grandpa stood up and said: "I'm too old, son-in-law, to be giving me sermons! Mind your own business!" Mom said: "You're really overreacting, Chako! You don't know where you are, you fucking goat! You took off your jacket and went to put it in the fridge!" Grandpa said: "Enough with the sawmill! If I want to get dressed at this age, I will! Especially when I have Špir from the police for a personal chauffeur! What else is left for me with a family like this!" Dad said: "I'm going to get a man dressed! But in that state, I'm going to piss under the monument to a fallen soldier..."

Robbie K. (IIIa)