In our society, it's not those who commit violence who suffer. It's those who don't fit in.
Murderers, criminals, drug dealers, and violent people often have the status of "dangerous guys," "strong guys," people who are attributed strength, power, and charisma. They are not ostracized by society. On the contrary, they are often protected, relativized, and often glorified by identifying them with heroic deeds.
But when someone is of a different religion, nationality, sexual orientation or gender identity, then without thinking, the mechanism of judgment is triggered. Then there is no understanding, no forgiveness, no protection. Then the guilt is declared by the very existence.
Palanka does not attack openly. It attacks systematically.
Labels, looks, whispers, gossip, unspoken laws. It is a slow and organized lynching. The target is not chosen randomly, it is chosen what is different, what cannot be controlled. In that system, a woman who does not conform is a problem. A trans woman is an even bigger problem. Freedom is the biggest problem.
The feminist truth that few people here want to hear is this: patriarchy doesn't have a problem with violence, it has a problem with autonomy. It can live with crime, but it can't live with a woman making her own decisions.
For me, the palanka destroyed love.
Not because that love was wrong, but because it was not allowed.
They destroyed it with pressure. With expectations. With fear. With isolation. With silence that breaks as much as open insult. This is an environment where people leave each other not only because of emotions, but also because of collective judgment.
Here, relationships don't just break down between two people, they break down under community pressure.
This society doesn't punish the violent. It punishes the free.
And that is his greatest shame.
Leaving hurts. Abandonment destroys a person.
But sometimes leaving is the only way to preserve your dignity. As long as "normality" declares you a mistake and you persist, then the problem is not you.
The problem is normality.
The author is a master's degree in psychology.
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