Uguration in Washington

The real drama - we didn't even know it - unfolded in Washington when Obama's cabinet found out that an entire excursion from Srpska was being prepared for Trump's inauguration.

Kožo called me once at two past midnight to tell a joke. He has this habit of calling in the dead of night from the pub to tell a joke. Well, Mile was on his way to Trump's inauguration in Washington, when at the Sarajevo airport a friendly employee at the passport control counter asked him where his visa for the United States was. "Vot ar ju tokin?", Mile answered her. "I'm asking, do you even have a visa?", repeated the policewoman. "Excuse me?" Mile leaned over the counter. "Visa, visa," the clerk said louder, "do you have an entry visa?" "Aj dont anderstend", shrugged Mila. "Do you have a visa?", she finally said, and Mile answered: "What do you say?"

It's crowded, you've already heard, these days at the Sarajevo airport and at the American embassy in Marijin Dvor, people are standing in long lines, scurrying around and clutching the gold-printed invitations to the inauguration of the new American president in their frozen hands, waiting to get an entry visa to the USA and buy a ticket to America. There is no one who does not go to Trump's dernek, everyone who means something in Bosnia and Herzegovina has an invitation in beautiful English, with the Presidential seal and signature of Donald Trump, head and toupe.

Well, not exactly for the inauguration itself on Capitol Hill, and not exactly with Trump's signature, more actually for the Presidential Ball in Congress, with Trump's wife Melania's signature. Okay, not exactly signed by his wife, but by the head of the election campaign. And not exactly for the Presidential Ball in Congress, but for the inaugural ball in a hotel in the center of Washington. Well, not at the invitation of the head of the campaign personally, but of a respected lobby group. And not strictly in the center of Washington, but a little further away, in a fancy bridal salon in the suburbs. Well, if it's not really an inauguration ball, it will be some kind of ball. At least there will be a round at the bar, fuck his father. Not every day is a Trump inauguration. Okay, technically it's actually a travel arrangement through an agency for twelve installments, but please be nice, on the day of Trump's inauguration. Okay, come on, a day later. It's as if Trump won't be president the next day either.

Basically, to cut a long story short, it turned out in the end that all those invitations to Trump's inauguration - which in Bosnia and Herzegovina burned like tickets for Zvezde Granda in Zetra - were in fact just expensively paid tickets to some of the countless so-called "balls" that were held around Washington in those days organized by some American hochstaplers and smugglers, who then sell table reservations for the Inaugural Dinner to the pampered third-world provincial gourds, just as they sell them gold medals for quality, awards for excellence and diplomas for the world's person of the year at fairs.

Milorad Dodik, for example, has been flaunting for days with an invitation from the White House, waving on television an invitation to the inauguration of his old friend - here, in fine print, Donald Trump is apologizing for not even being able to make it to Republika Srpska Day due to his obligations regarding the handover of power. nor to the wedding of Dodik's son, but certainly to say hello to Ceca - so that in the end it turned out that it was not an invitation to the Presidential inauguration at all, but a ticket to some kind of "inauguration ball". And not at the invitation of the White House, but some Christian lobby group. And not at the Capitol, but in a hotel a little further away. And not on the day of the inauguration, but the next day. For which the president of the house council of the Republika Srpska, Milorald Kramp, paid 10.000 dollars, by the way.

My dear, if Mile had waited just a little longer, the inauguration of Donald Trump would have been in a tent at the Velikogospojina fair in Derventa. But that's why for fifty thousand dollars.

Invitations to Trump's inauguration went best in Republika Srpska, as expected. The technical director of the Bema footwear factory in Banja Luka, Marinko Umičević, for example, received his personally from Melania Trump. "Despite the fact that my move, when I sent Melania two pairs of shoes from my factory, was followed at the world level, I was not sure that I would get an invitation in the end," Marinko tells Nezavisne novine. "The invitation made me happy, as well as the fact that Mrs. Melania did not forget me," he continues dead serious, explaining how he received the invitation relatively late, which was the fault of the organization that Melania got angry with when she saw the lists: "They told me that Melania came and asked what happened to Marinka. They told her they forgot, after which she yelled at them."

Melania Trump was pissed when she saw that Marinko was not on the list. She was throwing things, smashing around the room, it was, they say, really unpleasant to watch. "No Marinko, no inauguration!" screamed Mrs. Trump, realizing that behind it all are assholes from the Obama administration. As, after all, behind the scandal with the diplomatic visa, which was refused to Dodika at the American embassy in Sarajevo. This is also clear to Marinko: "If I manage to get a visa, then I will go." This current administration is from the Democratic Party, so that could be a factor, but I supported the opposite candidate.”

The real drama - we didn't even know it - unfolded in Washington when Obama's cabinet found out that an entire excursion from Srpska was being prepared for Trump's inauguration. The CIA, they say, sounded the red alert when it was discovered that Marinko was also arriving from Banja Luka.

- Not Marinko Umičević, is it? - asked John Brennan in a shaky voice. - Director of Bema?! - I'm afraid so - deputy David Cohen answered him, pale as a rag. - But Marinko supported the opposite candidate! - the latter became enraged. - He sends Melania shoes, for God's sake! - What can I tell you? She personally sent him an invitation. - We fucked up, my David, if Marinko comes to Washington. I can immediately become the cultural attaché in Riyadh, and you the high commissioner in BiH - Brennan despaired, circling the office. - We are the CIA, damn it, we have to be able to solve it! - We can deny him a visa. Like Millie. - Good idea. But watch out - the boss looked at him. - Make it look like an accident.

(oslobodjene.ba)