I didn't tell you that this year too - traditionally - I certified FREI. With my presence, I magnified this year's Festival of Real Estate Investments - or the Festival of Investments and Real Estate, in the official translation. This year's Frei, the eighth, was held from May 15 to 17 in Budva, at the Hotel Avala Resort & Villas.
Of course, it was not difficult for me to drive 120 km from Podgorica to Budva and back, because it goes without saying, when it comes to FREI, that every sacrifice pays off many times over. When you follow one of the FREI programs - any one - when you feel the unique atmosphere of FREI, all your illusions about the motives that drive the entire team involved in the so-called the valorization of the most valuable spatial resources, the State of Montenegro dear to all of us. You will feel the smell of money, and accordingly, a beneficial, deep resignation on many specific issues that fall into the domains of the so-called CG of the spatial discourse (we will pretend that this discourse exists and is legitimate).
Before I get down to business, I must emphasize that I was not comfortable - not in the least - having to dress strictly according to the circumstances (a light, pale green Helmut Lang T-shirt - a combination of cashmere and cotton - and pale yellow Vilebrequin linen shorts), perfumed (Amber Aoud/ Roja Dove - only on exceptional occasions - it's terribly expensive) and in new sneakers (Ecco Soft 1 - white as snow), I elbow with the guests of Hotel Avala Resort & Villas - mostly English women in colorful swimsuits and Englishmen in colorful swimming trunks, who, who knows why, were gathered around the reception. Right around the reception, which I had to pass - because there was no other option - to get to the ceremonial hall where the FREI program was held, which I decided to certify.
An incomprehensible omission regarding the so-called line of communication, incomprehensible...
Just imagine the ladies, visitors to FREI, in luxurious toilets, as they make their way through the hordes of sweaty Englishmen and women hanging around the reception in colorful costumes and swimming trunks. An Englishman and an Englishman, half of whom have serious sunburns. Not to mention the hordes of their impudent children, who, screaming, run in all directions, pelting each other with bonbons, chocolates and ice cream and splashing themselves with blueberry and cherry juices.
An incomprehensible - and unforgivable, I would add - omission of the respected architect (whatever his name was, thank you God...).
On the way to the hall where the forum was held, which I intended to certify - New legal framework for space planning and construction of facilities, that was the title of the forum, in which Mr. Pavle Radulović, at that time a newly appointed minister, was scheduled to appear of sustainable development and tourism - I passed by a billboard on which was presented a project of something that - when realized, if it is realized - should be called Mediterranean Eco Village - Zirine Gardens - Herceg Novi.
Zirine Gardens is a project signed by the widely famous and celebrated Studio GRAD - and represents, if you ask me, such a decline compared to their earlier achievements - especially compared to their earliest among the earliest achievements, if we understand each other - that I have to dedicate at least two or three frescoes of the ninth page.
If I managed to survive Zirine Gardens, I thought, nothing I'm going to hear on that stand can kill me.
The forum was actually conceived as an opportunity for, in the presence of Minister Radulović, respected representatives of foreign companies operating in Montenegro - Adriatic Marinas, Azmont Investments, Montrose, Katari Diar, Stratex, etc. - declares about the then current Draft Law on Planning and Construction (then it was called that - and in the meantime it has evolved into the Draft Law on Spatial Planning and Building Construction).
And just at the moment when I lost all hope that something worth mentioning would happen at that forum, the noble Goran Bencun from the company Adriatic Properties doo (Hotel Sveti Stefan, Vila Miločer) took the floor.
Bencun referred to one of the so-called seven deadly business barriers that the State of Montenegro, i.e. the Government of Montenegro - through active and stimulating cooperation with the Ministry of Sustainable Development and Tourism (MORiT), i.e. through the eagerly awaited Law on Spatial Planning and Building Construction, which is being pushed by the Ministry of Tourism, i.e. Mr. Radulović - strives, at least declaratively, to unreservedly eliminate (or at least mitigate). In business jargon, that barrier is called: bad domicile staff - and accordingly, bad domicile construction operatives.
Namely, the noble Bencun stated, in short, that CG construction companies are not capable of responding positively to the high demands, that is, standards imposed by the modern hotel industry - just as CG architects are not capable of responding to those same standards and requirements. Then he proposed, very directly, to open wide the doors of the State of Montenegro to capable foreign companies and capable foreign architects - and all this strictly in the function of the so-called the competitiveness of the Montenegrin investment environment, that is, the rationalization of costs borne by renowned investors operating in Montenegro. Is there a possibility that the new law will enable unhindered registration, i.e. unhindered licensing of renowned international companies that investors represented by Bencun would be happy to hire for the realization of their projects in Montenegro - that was Bencun's question, roughly. — Because, we will all admit - Bencun concluded - CG is a small market that has neither renowned architects nor renowned construction companies.
At that moment, a bloodthirsty mosquito could be heard stabbing its blade into the carotid artery of a renowned professor who was at the other end of the ceremonial hall, a professor who ordains at AF PG.
Mr. Radulović, the minister, responded to noble Bencun's statements in his own manner - so very charming, calm and, above all, constructively - giving Bencun along the way semi-hard (feed the piglets, don't touch the buttons) assurances that what he wanted was "feasible" advocates - in order to conclude that not all CG architects are incompetent. — There are not many capable ones - said the minister - but there are certainly some.
Bencun didn't give up, of course.
— We tried to refer some local, that is, Montenegrin design houses to renowned investors from London whom we represent, however, renowned investors from London were not interested. They didn't even want to look at their CVs, let alone their portfolios.
At that moment, a bloodthirsty mosquito could be heard pulling a pin out of the carotid artery of a renowned professor who was at the other end of the ceremonial hall, a professor who ordains at the AF PG - and then it was heard to take off, with some effort, full and satisfied.
— Cut off his head - ordered the minister. — Whose head should I cut off? To a professor with AF or Bencun? — Benzunu! Fool! - shouted the minister after a short thought. Not long after, Bencun's head adorned the highest tower of the hard city of Budva - the so-called Kanli Tower - or Blood Tower. — Now bring me Popović! - ordered the minister. — Drasko Popović? — Marko Miljanov Popović! Fool! Bring me Svetislav G. Popović, Dean of AF PG. Someone has to respond to these incomprehensible offensive statements by Goran Bencun. And the AF PG diplomas are signed by Svetislav G. Popović!
If I'm not mistaken...
...continued in the next issue.
Bonus video:
