Mobbing: An attempt to cure one's own complexes and frustrations

Our interlocutor believes that mobbing is still a taboo topic in Montenegro and says that there is a lack of institutions that would deal with this problem properly and work with quality to eradicate it.
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Disclaimer: The translations are mostly done through AI translator and might not be 100% accurate.
Ažurirano: 21.05.2011. 08:35h

- Since I started working in that company, I have had a problem with my boss. Whenever she has a stressful day, she takes her anger out on me. On one occasion, she did not want to let me go to a medical examination that was scheduled right before the end of working hours. Through a smile, she said "No" and gave me some extremely illogical, almost silly explanation. If I'm the first to leave work before the end of working hours, fine, but in my company that's the rule. She made me come to work at a time when other workers were not there, late at night, even though the company works during the day - the interviewee who wished to remain anonymous begins her story about mobbing in the workplace.

Our interlocutor believes that mobbing is still a taboo topic in Montenegro and says that there is a lack of institutions that would deal with this problem properly and work with quality to eradicate it.

She even believes that no one can help her at the moment, and that everything is in her hands and she has to find ways to deal with it herself.

- A colleague who performs a job of the same rank as me has a privileged position with the boss, and it cannot be said that she performs it better or that she is any better at that job than me. No word on that. She's just nicer to her and that's all. That colleague often gives me work assignments - notes the interlocutor.

She says that her boss often gave her tasks that were not in her job description, some less important, and all in order to make it impossible for her to come to the fore and show herself at work.

She left all the "larger", more serious tasks for another colleague who was more sympathetic to her.

At the same time, in every way, he tries to always let her know that she is above, that "her voice is heard", that she is in charge.

- As for the boss, I set myself up in such a way that I react to her every provocation with a smile, I often 'don't hear', which is to say, I cool her down. Why? Because I believe that her behavior is her problem and that such a person should seek professional help. All in all, I don't see any reason why someone would behave like that - says the "Vijesti" interlocutor.

To the question, which logically arises, what is keeping her at that job, the interviewee answers that because of her work experience and the position of the company, she decided not to leave her job.

- Mainly due to the fact that I accepted that workplace as a challenge, and I see the behavior of my boss and colleagues as a kind of obstacles on the way to overcoming that too - says the interviewee of "Vijesti" with a smile.

- When one person or group psychologically abuses or humiliates another, with the aim of endangering their reputation and integrity, up to the point of being kicked out of the workplace, at least once a week, for at least six months, it is mobbing - psychologist Jasmina Đukić told "Vijesti".

He notes that mobbing can be vertical and horizontal, but in both cases it can have harmful consequences on the mental and/or physical health of the individual.

The abuser/mobber can be an individual, a group of colleagues or a superior, i.e. an employer.

- We have vertical mobbing in a situation when the employer/superior 'abuses' his subordinates, or when a group of subordinates unites with the aim of 'ousting' the superior. When a mober is a superior, bullying is most often reflected through constant criticism of work, denial of information, assignment of the worst, most difficult or meaningless jobs, with the aim of degrading the individual on a professional basis - says Đukić.

He emphasizes that horizontal mobbing also includes the abuse of an individual, but unlike vertical mobbing, this is about the social interaction of persons who are in the same or approximately the same hierarchical positions.

- It is often said about the so-called 'visible mobbing'. However, mobbing does not have to be 'visible', but it can certainly affect the psychological and physical condition of the victim. Mobbers expose the person who is the victim in this case to discomfort through gossiping, insulting, ridiculing, and for some reason the mobbers in this case use the victim to treat their own frustrations - she says.

He also notes that it can be a consequence of an otherwise bad climate in the company/enterprise/organization or a consequence of inadequate distribution of manpower/employees.

- In fact, although mobbing is sometimes a way to maintain power at the expense of others, to 'cure' complexes and frustrations, it can also take place on an unconscious level, as a result of which the mobber, fearing for himself and protecting his position, unknowingly endangers another. Therefore, in this case we cannot say that there is a 'bad' concrete intention of the mob, but rather a combination of unfavorable factors - states Đukić.

He says that the consequences of mobbing are not only reflected on the individual who is exposed to mobbing, but also on his social environment, family and friends, and often, not only the victims of mobbing are exposed to the unpleasantness of mobbing, but also their environment. This makes the situation even more difficult for a person who is a victim of mobbing.

Who are mobbers and who are victims

- As for the psychological profile of mobbers, they are often people with psychological problems, who somehow feel threatened by the victim or need to divert attention from their own incompetence.

They are often people with low moral principles, without scruples, for whom their interests are the most important - she says. He believes that the basis of mobbing is mostly some kind of fear of the mobber from the victim.

- When a mobster feels threatened, he tries to overcome his fear by transferring his threat and aggression to another, which is actually a reflection of his own insecurity and lack of self-confidence. A mobster can also be a pathological person who has the need to bully others and feels pleasure in doing so - she states.

He says that the role of the family is certainly indisputable in this case, because it often happens that the mobster's behavior is adopted in the primary family, by observing and modeling the behavior style of one or both parents.

As for the victim of mobbing, Đukić notes that, in principle, anyone can become a victim of mobbing. Although people who are "different" in some way are often more "susceptible" to this kind of abuse, let's not say people who are weaker than others for some reason, e.g. people who belong to a religious or national minority, individuals with poorer financial status, weaker social skills - emphasizes Đukić.

She believes that women are victims of mobbers more often than men.

Consequences

Đukić notes that the consequences for the victim's health are numerous: high blood pressure, stomach pains, muscle tension, and psychological disturbances in the form of insomnia, nightmares, fear, loss of concentration, feelings of helplessness and depression. He states that a person loses self-confidence, doubts his abilities, withdraws more and more into himself, loses trust in people and becomes passive. - Therefore, a serious psychosomatic illness or mental disorder can occur, even a suicide attempt - Đukić warns.

Exit

Changing workplace He states that maintaining self-confidence and believing in one's own abilities is the first step towards getting out of the mobbing game. Critically looking at one's own behavior in relation to the mobster and developing awareness of the possibility of choosing one's own behavior is also important in order to understand, or rather, recognize the mobber's motives.

- The possibility to resolve the conflict through discussion and reconciliation is often possible only when the initial conflict is still visible. That is exactly why the victim should try to talk about his observations and experiences with the mober at the very beginning of this game, and not withdraw into himself.

By pulling in, the victim actually gives a clear signal to the mobster to continue with the 'game'.

But sometimes a change of workplace is the only possible solution - notes Đukić. He advises that mobbing can be prevented by informing, educating, applying certain trainings in companies - trainings in assertive response, communication skills, etc.

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