As sociologists continue to study the effects on children whose mothers are employed, the results they arrive at are quite different from long-held beliefs. Long-standing beliefs have kept the mother firmly by the child's crib for fear that their separation will result, later in life, in the child's emotional and psychological trauma.
Some pediatricians believe that there is almost no difference between the children of employed and unemployed mothers. They found that both groups of children establish friendships with each other just as easily, argue with each other in a similar way, achieve equal success (or failure) in school, get into life's accidents equally often or show exemplary behavior, are equally adaptable and independent or firmly attached to mother's apron, they equally love and feel parental love or refuse.
One institute studied the emotional, intellectual and social development of two groups of children. One who spent most of the day in kindergartens and the other who was raised at home with her mother. The researchers found that, provided that the kindergartens have a sufficient number of qualified staff and are well equipped, there is no significant difference between the two groups of children.
As long as it is ensured that the child feels happy and safe, the mother's absence from home - full-time employment does not pose a serious problem - says a group of pediatricians from Harvard University.
Norwegian psychologist Gruda Skard says: "Children develop best and most harmoniously when the mother herself is happy and cheerful. Women who are satisfied with their workplace are more affectionate and devoted to their children and are less likely to be often moody than mothers who are disappointed with their household chores."
However, mom's attitude is not the only one that must be taken into consideration. No one will oppose the fact that the happiness of both mother and child also depends on the father.
What the husband thinks and feels about the mother's employment is crucial for the emotional climate inside the family home.
Although many psychoanalysts continue to emphasize the need for an exclusive relationship between mother and baby, recent research has shown that most fathers today are vital figures in their children's lives. A study published at Harvard University found that one- and two-year-old children are just as attached to their fathers as they are to their mothers.
TOGETHER WITH MOTHER FOR AT LEAST THE FIRST THREE YEARS
Anthropologist Margaret Mead, who studied the upbringing and education of children in various societies on our planet, considers the idea that a baby should not be separated from its mother to be absurd.
Child-rearing experts recommend that parents help children accept a working mother. One way to do this is to plan a special "child time", when the child will have uninterrupted time to spend with mom. That time doesn't have to be long, but it has to be regular. Children should be allowed to find out how much they mean to you, that they mean much more to you than your job in the company.
However, these presented views of the experts did not completely convince me. Whenever material and other circumstances in the family allow it, I still vote for the mother to stay with her child - all day, every day - at least until the child is three years old. I believe that this is the period when the mother is most needed by the child. My heart breaks when I see on winter, cold, early and dark mornings how mothers forcefully tear their sleeping children from their warm cots, hurriedly carry them to kindergartens and crèches so that they can get to work on time. There is no expert who can convince me that it is not an unpleasant stress for that small and delicate being in her arms.
I know that many families simply could not survive if both parents did not work, but I can assure you that there are also many women who, due to the financial situation of the family, could easily stay at home (at least for the first three years of the child's life), and that it would not even be felt on their standard of living.
But that's why their child would have a warm and tender mother's embrace available whenever he feels the need and desire for them, whenever he runs out of security or is gripped by fear. There's nothing to worry about, mother is there, within arm's reach.
After all, let the reader come to his own conclusion about all this, let him determine himself according to this very important and delicate question.
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