Six types of people who like to play the victim

They do this in order to manipulate the people around them, to achieve their goals in a simpler way, or they don't know how to deal with their feelings...
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Illustration, Photo: Shutterstock
Illustration, Photo: Shutterstock
Disclaimer: The translations are mostly done through AI translator and might not be 100% accurate.
Ažurirano: 19.05.2019. 09:25h

Do you often meet people who are constantly depressed, someone is always against them, but actually they just like to play victims? You don't know how to position yourself and it can be exhausting.

The answer to the question of why people do this is different for each of the six most common types. It's almost always manipulation to get people what they want, or it's learned behavior from an early age, when people get stuck in a negative pattern of abuse or neglect.

1. Self-centered people

People who are most important to themselves and focused only on their own needs will most often use the strategy of playing the victim. At times when they should choose others and not themselves, this way of behaving allows them to get rid of guilt because, regardless of what they are doing, they are very aware that they are wrong.

This kind of behavior will inspire pity in the people around them and because of that they will often give in to them. They will achieve their goals without too much trouble, without investing too much effort or energy.

2. People addicted to control

Some people need to be in complete control of everything in their lives, regardless of what happens or who gets hurt in the process. They use the regrets of others to ensure that things will play out their way. They want to be in complete control of the results of everything they do, as well as the people in their lives.

If they cannot gain control in any other way, they will play the victim and play on other people's emotions to make sure that their goals and desires are achieved.

3. People dependent on other people

People who depend on others, known as 'parasites', are sometimes not even aware of what they are doing. This happens when a person tries to build his self-confidence through stronger people in his environment, so he constantly follows them, examines and copies their behavior in order to feel better.

Playing the victim allows a person to 'feed' on the compliments of others. When a person feels like a victim or plays a victim, there are never enough compliments or words of support

4. People who fear anger

A lot of people play the victim because of their inability to properly deal with their anger. In some cases, they fear the consequences of their anger, or they may have experienced situations where they lost control and don't want to feel it again.

Either way, a victim mentality eventually replaces a person's ability to express healthy feelings of anger and interferes with the proper processing of those feelings.

Remember, it's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to abuse. It's even worse to pretend to be a permanent victim.

5. Mentally ill people

People who suffer from mental illness will often play the victim. Most of the time this is due to feeling overwhelmed by the symptoms of the disease. In bipolar disorder, for example, a victim mentality may come after a severe bout of mania due to medication refusal. Instead of accepting the blame for not taking their medication, people may cast themselves as victims so they don't have to take responsibility for their bad actions.

But people should not be too hard on the mentally ill, especially when they are not aware of what they are doing.

6. People who have survived trauma

While it's perfectly normal to feel like a victim after a trauma, it's not normal to act like a victim forever. You have to remind yourself, or your loved ones, that ongoing trauma and healing make you a survivor and not a victim for the rest of your life. This is a sensitive topic, just like with the mentally ill, so in such situations one should proceed with caution.

How to deal with the mentality and playing the victim?

If it is you and playing the victim has become a daily normal behavior for you, you should stop and think about where that urge comes from, what you want to achieve with it. Do you tell yourself that life is not fair to you? If that's true, you're probably saying other similar things to justify your behavior. Once you identify them, it is much easier to fight against negative urges, which, after all, can only negatively affect you and your environment, writes the Learning Mind portal.

It is necessary to take small steps and consciously turn all those negative impulses into positive ones.

If someone close to you is concerned, then it is best to talk openly with them and help them reduce these urges, giving them positive examples of how to solve situations they are afraid of, how to achieve the goals they want to achieve or how to deal more easily with situations that they are afraid. They need to be helped to build self-confidence, and that is not easy.

It must be taken into account that the way of thinking and experiencing the world can only be changed by a person for himself, no one else can do that. With people who have admitted to themselves that they have a problem, you need to be patient because it is a difficult path that they have embarked on.

(Learning Mind)

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