Relationships are often complex and challenging, especially when emotions, expectations and different perspectives are involved. Although many believe that love and closeness can overcome all obstacles, creating a stable and fulfilling relationship requires much more than affection, according to world-renowned couples therapist, Stan Tatkin, along with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin.
Tatkin has dedicated his career to understanding and helping couples build healthier and more stable relationships, they report Independent newspapers.
"There is nothing more difficult in the world than another person. Precisely because of this, relationships between two people are naturally complex and often present a challenge," explains the therapist. However, it seems that Tatkin and his wife have found a way to create relationships that are not only simpler, but also more fulfilling.
Stan and Tracey believe that the key to a successful relationship is a shared vision and purpose. Through their "Wired for Love" workshops, which are designed to improve communication, understanding and connection between partners, they have helped many couples create that common goal. Their approach combines scientific insights and practical strategies, enabling couples to build stronger and longer-lasting relationships.
According to the therapist, the concept of "safe functionality" is based on fairness, trust and mutual respect. Couples with such functionality share a vision, principles and agreements that hold them accountable. At Wired for Love workshops, Tatkin and his wife help couples develop their own version of that secure functionality, giving them tools to strengthen their relationship.
They also emphasize the importance of small everyday gestures of love, which they call "incidental tenderness". These small gestures, like an "I love you" message or a small sign of attention, are key to maintaining safe functionality and improving the quality of the relationship.
Wired for Love workshops combine neuroscience, attachment theory, and biology to help couples understand the underlying processes that influence their interactions. Participants leave with a better understanding of how to improve communication, resolve conflict, and deepen emotional connection.
"Thus, secure functionality is based on trust and mutual respect. Therefore, secure-functional partners protect each other from the outside world, but also from each other," concluded Tatkin.
Bonus video:
