Although everyone would wish that the magic phase in love lasts forever, we have to come to terms with the fact that relationships change as the years go by
Scientists have looked at the various stages a love relationship goes through, and what they found will come as a disappointment to many. But before you panic, keep in mind that every love is unique and special, and that these statistics don't have to apply to you at all.
Scientist with Harvard, Dr. Catherine Wu, explains that our hormones and brain chemistry change greatly during the early stages of bonding, which can be roughly divided into three categories—lust, attraction, and attachment.
"Although there is overlap, each type is characterized by its own set of hormones. Testosterone and estrogen stimulate lust; dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin create attraction, and oxytocin and vasopressin deepen connection," Wu explained.
A 2021 study published in the journal "Frontiers in Psychology" found that after six months, couples tend to grow out of the initial bonding phase and evolve into something else.
The early stages of romantic love are often accompanied by stress and may differ from the later period characterized by a sense of security and calmness, according to researchers. The first stage, which lasts about the first six months of the relationship, is described as "infatuation". It has all the characteristics of romantic love, including romantic passion and intimacy.
The second stage, said to last from about six months to four years, is called "passionate love." During this time, passion is maintained, but commitment and intimacy increase.
After this stage, passionate love gives way to companionship, passion subsides, and commitment and intimacy reach their peak.
If all this sounds a little worrying for romantic souls, there is good news. Researchers say not every relationship follows the same path. Many couples will extend the time of the first two stages.
For some people, romantic love can last for many years or even decades. In romantic relationships that last, love serves to connect partners through the creation of understanding, emotions and habits that are characteristic of long-term relationships.
"Falling out of love" has its advantages. Many people find that the initial period of a relationship is a time of increased stress and uncertainty.
"Love is then often accompanied by jealousy, changeable behavior and irrationality, along with a number of other less positive emotions and moods," Vu believes. She calls the rush of hormones in the early stages of love a “double-edged sword,” which can lead us to make bad decisions, neglect our daily responsibilities, or hurt others. He adds that our experience at the beginning of love is no different from other forms of addiction.
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