First dates involve everything from choosing an outfit, researching the meeting place and expected behavior, to traditional questions like who pays the bill.
Unattractive traits that show through bad behavior on a first date disrupt connection at a crucial stage of initial relationship building. Here's how to avoid them.
Don't ruin a good appearance with bad behavior.
The modern first date is not a blind date - it's not about seeing a potential partner for the first time. That's what the internet is for. But in an environment where both parties expect the best behavior, actions speak louder than words. Make sure yours is appropriate, personable, and engaging, writes Psychologytoday.
Come on time.
Appearance matters - literally. Don't be late for your first meeting. People today value punctuality, and you'll save yourself unnecessary stress by accounting for traffic, weather conditions, or anything else that might put you in an awkward position upon arrival. Punctuality is also a sign of respect, so leave early to arrive on time.
Dress appropriately.
In other words, don't be too casual or too dressy. While the emotions we express can have a greater impact on first impressions than our clothes, our wardrobe still matters. Wearing sneakers and a hat to a fancy restaurant may raise eyebrows if you're a movie star; if you're not, it may raise questions about your judgment. On the other hand, if your style is usually unusual, striking, or provocative, consider temporarily toning it down to avoid stereotypes that are hard to break with someone you've just met.
The power of presence
Be with the person across from you, not your phone. Instead of ignoring the person you're talking to because you're staring at the screen, put your phone on silent and avoid constantly checking your messages, which is often done out of habit rather than necessity.
Safe space
Avoid getting too close to the person you are talking to. Maintain a personal distance to find a balance - close enough for gentle eye contact, but not so close that you intrude on their personal space. Also, don't sit too far away, as this can come across as cold and impersonal. Check the seating arrangement in advance to make sure you aren't separated by a large table or other physical barrier.
Avoid exaggeration.
Too much alcohol is unattractive, because in this context, excess is not endearing, but unpleasant. Unlike other mistakes that can create a sense of closeness through shared humanity, such as minor mishaps, immoderation is perceived with disapproval, not as a sign of compatibility. This is true even if your interlocutor has had similar experiences before, which they probably wisely won't mention on a first date.
Risk of provocativeness
Maintain decorum on your first date by choosing topics carefully. Avoid flirtatious statements or jokes to avoid misinterpretations. Be moderate in your messages after the date, too. Suggestive emoticons can make it difficult to have a pleasant relationship. There will be ample opportunity to build intimacy gradually.
Your behavior on the first date lays the foundation for a healthy relationship based on trust, respect, chemistry, and compatibility. In a modern world where not everyone recognizes the importance of carefully developing a relationship, you stand out by starting well - so that you can end well, reports N1.
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