The types of love people experience throughout their lives and what each one means

Love is not just one feeling we experience; it is a spectrum of emotions that we go through in different ways throughout our lives. The seven types of love that people experience throughout their lives help explain why love can feel powerful and all-encompassing at one moment, and calm, quiet, or even playful at another. From romantic passion to deep friendship to the way we learn to love ourselves, each type carries its own meaning.

Most of us grow up thinking that love should look one way, but it changes as we change. Understanding the different types of love makes it easier to recognize what we feel, what we need, and how our relationships change over time. Here are the different types of love we experience throughout our lives and what each one really means.

Seven types of love that people experience throughout their lives and what each one means:

Eros

Eros is passionate and deep romantic love at its most intense. It's the kind of love that most people think of first—the racing heartbeat, the butterflies in the stomach, and the feeling that marks the beginning of a romantic connection. It's the love that draws two people together and makes everything feel urgent, electric, and alive.

Research from Georgetown University has shown that falling in love floods the brain's reward system with dopamine and reduces the activity of the centers responsible for rational thought. That's why it can seem almost impossible to think clearly when you're first falling in love.

storage

Storge is family love. It is the love between family members, such as a mother, father, or children. It is based on natural and instinctive attachment. Storge is often the first type of love we ever experience.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Lijana Avila explains that the love between a parent and a child is one of the most fundamental forces in a person's life, as it shapes a sense of safety, security, and belonging from the very beginning. As she says, "children need happy parents the most," and a consistent, present, and loving connection between family members is the foundation on which all other relationships in life are built.

Ludus

Ludus is playful, flirtatious love. It is associated with flirting, fun, and the exhilaration of the early stages of romance. This type of love is strongest when play, excitement, and enjoyment are strongly present, and it is what makes the beginning of a relationship so exciting.

Play and fun aren't just a nice addition to a relationship. Research has shown that joy and playfulness build lasting internal resources that, over time, strengthen resilience and health.

philia

Philia is the love of friendship and deep affection. It is usually reflected in the loyalty between friends when they share good times and when they are there for each other in difficult times. Philia is a deep, devoted care for the people you love, based on trust, loyalty, and a willingness to be there for someone no matter what.

A 2023 review of 38 studies found that the quality of friendships and the amount of time you spend with the people you love are among the strongest indicators of overall health across all stages of adulthood.

Agape

Agape is a universal and pure love. It is the kind of love that extends beyond the people you know, to strangers, animals, and the world at large. Agape is above all a concern for others and their well-being, and it is this love that is behind every quiet act of kindness that someone does without expecting anything in return.

According to therapist Michael V. Regier, people who love most broadly are those who have learned to let go of judgment, making room for genuine concern even for people who are suffering or hard to reach. He states that truly compassionate people “avoid labeling others as good or bad” and instead start from empathy. This is what makes agape so rare and powerful when we encounter it.

Philautia

Philautia is self-love, and it is perhaps one of the most important types of love a person can develop. It involves self-awareness and a deep knowledge that you are enough just as you are. Philautia is about building self-esteem and self-confidence, because when you truly love yourself, you open the door to loving others and receiving love from all the people in your life.

How you feel about yourself shapes every relationship in your life, including the kind of people you attract, explains licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Saint-Welch. "You tend to attract the same level of self-esteem in others that you feel about yourself," she says, which is why learning to love yourself first isn't selfish at all.

Pragma

Pragma is a long-lasting, committed, and practical love that is built over time, such as in marriage or a long-term relationship. When you feel a strong emotion, a deep attraction to someone, or even a focus on something like your passion or life purpose, it all stems from love. Whether it brings you pleasure, joy, or a sense of meaning, love is something we all carry in our hearts.

A 2020 study found that both giving and receiving love led to significant reductions in symptoms of depression, and this protective effect persists as people age. It's that quiet, daily decision to consistently show up for someone that keeps the power of love alive throughout life.

The range of emotions it takes to truly love someone or something is what makes us who we are. Love is so deep that we can never fully understand or describe it. And yet it is so pure and effortless that when you truly love something or someone, you find yourself loving it in all its forms.