Are modern technologies alienating us more and more?

Some Belgrade cafes put a joke sign on the front door "We don't have wi-fi, talk to each other", alluding to the fact that their guests communicate more with their virtual friends on a social network than they talk to each other.

Psychologists, however, are not joking - they warn that the virus of social autism is circulating among the young generation and that smart phones and tablets have cut off their contact with reality.

As much as technology draws people into virtual reality, it numbs them to those who are really close, emphasizes Daniel Goleman, a psychologist at Harvard University, who warns in his book "Social Intelligence" that we become dizzy and lost in the multitude of tunes on our personalized playlist. oblivious to what is happening around us and inaccessible to anyone passing by.

"Ears sealed with headphones reinforce social isolation and are an excuse to treat the other person as an object, something to be passed over rather than someone to be noticed. Although the life of a pedestrian offers the opportunity to say hello to a passer-by or to spend a few minutes in chatting with a friend, the iPod listener ignores everyone and looks right through people in a universally offensive way. Of course, from the iPod owner's point of view, he is in a relationship with someone—with a singer, band, or orchestra plugged into his ears. His heart beats in rhythm with his. Those virtual people are more important to him than real people, towards whom he is completely indifferent," states Goleman.

Ears sealed with headphones reinforce social isolation and provide an excuse to treat the other person as an object, something to be passed over rather than someone to be noticed

"They are invested in their technological wonders 24 hours a day, live their lives online and only occasionally 'guest' in reality. Since the introduction of the Internet and mobile phones, their attention has weakened so much that they cannot concentrate on any content for more than nine seconds - a second more than a goldfish. That's why they are constantly looking for new stimuli - it's a real mystery to me how they 'endure' to be present in class for 45 minutes.

There are many reasons why young people are better off in the virtual world than in the real world, and why those who sit at the same table in a cafe are actually 'sitting' in different universes. The presence on social networks gives them the opportunity to satisfy their exhibitionism or to peek into other people's lives through a keyhole - this is why it is jokingly said that Facebook turns into 'Playboy' in the summer.

Facebook satisfies narcissism and provides food for the ego - with each like, positive comment and new friend, self-satisfaction, importance, popularity, demand and influence grow. In addition, this social network satisfies the natural need for comparison and belonging - people look for similar people, join like-minded groups, expand the circle of friends, connect and share the smart thoughts of their friends' friends. For some, Facebook allows them to hide behind false identities and present a retouched or (desired) image of themselves.

Looking at a picture of a loved one (on a social network) relieves stress and pain more than - the physical touch of that person's hand

Our interlocutor cites very interesting research results of social psychology professor Matthew Lieberman, who proved that looking at a picture of a loved one (on a social network) relieves stress and pain more than physical touch of that person's hand. The explanation of this paradoxical phenomenon is also interesting: the brain does not distinguish imagination from reality and builds a virtual reality based on the image, which has a stronger effect than a tactile stimulus.

"There is another reason why we prefer to visit the virtual world rather than the real world. Namely, in the outside world we are often not able to keep things under control, and in virtual reality we can control events, because we choose content that pleases us - when we are under stress, we choose our favorite music to brighten our reality, and when we are not interested in the people we are surrounded by, we go to the virtual world where we communicate with more interesting people. On the one hand, it is an escape from reality, but at the same time it is a way of establishing control over the situation ", concludes Dr. Zoran Ilić.