The mother of a student in the final grade of an elementary school in Podgorica received an invitation to urgently come to the director of that educational institution. Less than half an hour later, in the director's office, she found her daughter with bloody hands - she had cut herself with a razor. Trying to solve the problem with her child, she discovered that the teenage girl had been cutting herself with a razor for months, that many of her peers were also doing it... Psychiatrists specializing in children and adolescents tried to help, but months of agony ended without a diagnosis.
The girl, persistently continuing to self-harm, was hospitalized at a psychiatric clinic out of state.
On the way to solving the problem, the girl's mother claims that she discovered that the cutting trend in Montenegrin primary and secondary schools took hold three years ago.
This was confirmed by a psychologist in an interview with Vijest Radmila Stupar Đurišić, pointing out that her experience shows that in most cases it is an unhealthy defense mechanism against pain, shame or some sense of guilt for current events, but that simulations also occur.
However, the Ministry of Education received information about this, as they claim, ten days ago from a Vijesti journalist - through sent questions.
Subsequently, the interlocutor of Vijesti presented them with almost everything she found out, except for the names of children who self-harm.
In the answers to a set of questions about the increasingly frequent self-injury of girls, the government department said that it is not easy to reach students who self-injure for any reason, because it mostly happens outside the school premises.
In a conversation with the students of a high school, the Vijesti journalist learned about the way in which some professors try to "reach out" to girls who self-harm:
"Do any of you cut yourself?" was the question that their class teacher asked the senior students of a high school two days ago.
The children claim that after an uncomfortable silence, he also said: "You all know who I mean, right?".
"This is not the way to solve the problem. Of course, no one answered," commented one student.
"Cautionary Approach"
The Ministry of Education replied to Vijesti that it is difficult to reach students who self-harm, but also that due to the sensitivity of the topic that invades the private spheres of their students' lives, they treated the issue as a broader part of the activities of their psychological and pedagogical services.
"Students who have this type of problem are not easy to reach, because self-harm happens mostly outside the school premises," they said.
From that government department, they also pointed out that they are more than welcome to receive any information about this phenomenon.
"We have intensified, in cooperation with school administrations, activities to identify and determine ways to support those students.
As we have already written, due to the sensitivity of the topic and the possible involvement of other institutions, this requires a thoughtful and careful approach. Also, in the coming period, the Ministry will make available, if school administrations request it, the mobile team of the Institute of Education for further support for those students", added the Ministry of Education.
They emphasize that no problem related to peer violence, self-harm by schoolgirls or any vandalism can be solved without the cooperation and support of parents.
"Here, we think that schools and the Ministry of Education should support and help parents, not the other way around. Because, unfortunately, during the day, our students spend more time with their teachers than with their parents. Parents' advice is a valuable address for all these listed activities", replied the Ministry of Justice.
They wrap themselves
During the investigation of this negative and worrying phenomenon, Vijesti obtained information that it is present in almost all secondary schools in Podgorica, in several elementary schools, but also among their peers in Danilovgrad, Nikšić, on the coast...
Also, it was discovered that the girls have learned to help themselves, so their cutting rarely ends with medical help in a health facility. However, there are also such cases, because occasionally they inflict very serious injuries on themselves.
The interlocutors of Vijesti point out that there are also cases in which girls are provided with support at the "Ognjen Rakočević" Autism Center, where psychiatrists for children and young people work.
The editorial office will not publish the names of the interlocutors, the girls who scar themselves, nor the names of the schools where they attend classes, in order to protect the integrity of these teenage girls.
"Roll up your sleeves for the kids"
The mother of a girl who has been self-harming for the second year says that despite the numerous information she obtained, the days spent talking with psychologists, psychiatrists, and most importantly, with her child, the cause of such actions remains unfathomable to her. Especially after psychiatrists determined that her daughter does not suffer from any mental illness.
The explanation he gets from her is: "It's easier for me."
They say that her insistence that the school point out the problem, to call meetings to warn parents about the danger of self-harm, was also in vain.
"I don't blame them, probably all of them want to preserve the 'reputation' of the school, but our common interest must be the children. With mine, I'm one step away from a solution, but most parents don't even know about this dangerous 'trend' that has taken hold among girls, even though whoever I talk to knows at least two examples to list, but also admits that he didn't do anything about it." , she said.
She also told that she called the mother of one of the girls who cuts her body, but that she answered - that she knows that it will pass.
"That is not the way to solve the problem, just as it is not the reaction of the professors I spoke to and who told me - we do not think of twisting our sleeves to the children. If everyone reacted like the school principal who called me when he found out, the problem would begin to be solved. This way, I am forced to point out the danger to the wider social community and ask parents to literally roll up their sleeves," she said.
They call for help by cutting
Psychologist Radmila Stupar Đurišić explains to Vijesti that self-injury by cutting is one of the ways to release anxiety that a person feels in the body, and does not know how to deal with it.
"Chopping and grinding are an old technique and method of calling for help, which people send to their surroundings. Any act of self-harm should be understood as a serious act of violence and must be treated as such. The trend of self-harm among young people has existed for some years, and my experience is that in most cases it is an unhealthy defense mechanism against pain, shame or some sense of guilt for current events. From time to time, some young people appear who think that by pathologising themselves they will avoid obligations, so they decide to simulate a tendency to self-harm, which leads to suicide," she said.
She points out that, regardless of whether it is real or fake self-injury, the treatment and therapy of this behavior should be approached seriously:
"With clear steps that include educating the person about healthy defense mechanisms, but also strategies for overcoming stress, anxiety or crisis life situations".
When asked what could be the cause of self-harm at that age, she said that it is usually intense pain, strong frustration and/or great anger.
"Self-injury can bring a momentary sense of calmness, because through physical pain you don't feel emotional pain. Of course, a person has even stronger emotional pain when the physical pain passes, the emotional pain starts to be felt again, and there is also the additional emotion of dealing with the consequences of self-harm," she said.
“Bloody Coin”…
During the research, Vijesti found out that a few years ago, among teenagers who use social networks, the "bloody coin" challenge was present. In that dangerous game they hurt their hands. It has not been established, however, whether there is a direct link between girls' self-harm and increasingly dangerous social media challenges.
Stupar Đurišić, answering the question of how much social networks are to blame, said that social networks are to blame for the overall increase in anxiety and stress in people.
"But if it wasn't for them, it would have been something else. "Industrial development continues and it will be increasingly difficult for man as a being of nature," she said.
She points out that professionally, she does not like the fact that those who discover that they are using social networks and the Internet for inhumane, unhealthy purposes or for fun are doing something that can lead to consequences that are serious for life and health.
"I often see that someone's profile is blocked or deactivated. He might be fined, and that's it. The reasons why that person abused the trust of the sufferer and the patient are not, and must be removed, because otherwise, the person will pay the fine, settle down a bit and soon start again, under a different name, to promote pathologization in the course of personality growth and development".
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