Gender equality implies a review of social norms for both women and men, according to the Ambassador of the United Kingdom (UK) in Montenegro, Karen Maddox.
On the occasion of March 8 - International Women's Day, she said that any woman in a leadership position could tell more stories about the challenges she had to overcome in order to reach that position.
"I have some stories myself. Some of these challenges were self-imposed (I recklessly turned down a double promotion while expecting my first child). "Some of the challenges were blatant discrimination (I was told that the job I applied for was not suitable for a single mother)," Maddox said.
She said that she comes from a country that, rightfully so, is proud of its laws regarding gender equality.
"The laws regarding gender equality are quite good in both the UK and Montenegro. However, it is clear that it is not enough to change the laws. The real problems, both in the UK, and I think in this country, are that it is simply not easy to change attitudes in society," Maddox believes.
According to her, the reason why it is more difficult for women to rise to the leadership level is that they have to overcome social norms to achieve it.
She stated that it is still not "normal" to see a woman in a leadership position.
"Due to the social conditioning we are subjected to from childhood in our society, not only do we need to convince a potential employer that we are as good as male candidates, but we also need to ignore the pressure placed on us by our own families to fulfill a traditional female role, to stop working to get married or start a family," said Maddox.
She said that anyone who challenges gender norms, whether male or female, will face a lot of resistance.
"This indicates that changing society in such a way that it is a society that supports gender equality is not only about supporting women, but about supporting everyone who wants the freedom to live as they choose - whether they are men, women or anyone else stork," said Maddox.
She cited the challenges her husband faced when he decided to give up his job and move around the world to support her diplomatic career.
Maddox said that while she was working in China as a full-time diplomat, her daughter was six months old and her husband was at home taking care of their two children.
"Before I left the UK, his family asked him what kind of work he was going to do there and I had to explain to them that the work of a stay-at-home dad is a full-time job. "If the situation had been reversed and I had given up my job to take care of the children, I doubt that anyone would have asked us anything," said Maddox.
She said that her husband, as a father who is always present, found himself in a situation where he had to fight to be able to go to coffee-gatherings intended for "mother and baby", "and he found that it was almost impossible to find some place to change diapers where a man is allowed to enter."
"As a man in this parental role, he was also questioning social norms, and the social infrastructure just wasn't there to support him. From a much more serious point of view, we have seen that the inability of certain members of society to accept people who question gender norms manifests itself in the form of violence," said Maddox.
As she said, the attack on a member of the LGBTI community in Podgorica last week is an extreme example of that.
"I totally admire anyone who is brave enough to be who they are, to live the way they feel is right, regardless of the pressure to conform to societal norms," Maddox said.
She stated that social rules of behavior are deeply rooted, but they are changing.
"On Friday, I attended the launch of the supra-party Women's Club in the Montenegrin Parliament. I watched in awe as women from across the political spectrum, who were brave enough to run and good enough to win, stood side by side," Maddox said.
She said that this is exactly how society changes - by increasing the visibility of brave people who choose to show everyone a new normal.
"We can all aspire to be one of them," Maddox concluded.
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