I wake up in a world I hate, I still sense some spark of rapture, and as if by punishment I expect God, who is a lonely hero without honor and pride - are the opening lines of the song "Fairy tale of love", which he sings Dado Topic.
With them, a brave fifteen-year-old teenage girl fought the hardest battle of her life 20 years ago. Along with them, the successful activist who was on the BBC's list of the 100 most influential and inspiring women in the world in 2023, is crying today, because it reminds her of the time when, as she told "Vijesta", she hoped her body wouldn't last.
"The song seems to have been written for me. It was the only song I listened to that still makes me cry," he says Marijeta Mojašević, youth activist and activist for the rights of persons with disabilities, mother of a two-and-a-half-year-old Djurađa, Tomaseva a partner on the path called love, and a person with disabilities.
"So this recognition from outside. I'm somehow used to compliments always coming from the other side".
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And how did Marijeta deserve the flattering recognition? With strength, courage, desire and will. First, she changed herself, learned to live with a sudden companion whom she didn't ask for, but came on his own, and then decided to change the world around her, to, above all, open the eyes of young people that disability does not mean the end of the world and that these people can also and they want to be useful actors of the community.
Overnight, one world was destroyed and another was built
In the summer of 2003, on a semi-prom excursion, Marijeta, who was born in Berane 35 years ago, suffered a stroke. Half a year later and another. As a result, hemiparesis, partial loss of the right side, and diplopia, double vision, remained. And then her struggle with herself, life, prejudices and discrimination begins.
"You go on an excursion, and you wake up in a shock room. At that moment, I told myself that I didn't want to be there and that I hoped that my body wouldn't be able to withstand everything. I remember the young man who was in that shock room. We were both a mess. I could laugh at him, he couldn't laugh at me. Later, unfortunately, he died," says Marijeta.
Her smile is her trademark - as if she is defending herself with it, but also defending and encouraging.
Operations, rehabilitation, chronic pain and headaches, difficult movement, training to eat with the right hand and learning to write with the left begin, the road to be followed which is worse than the worst macadam and only Marijeta can pave it. And then sobering up - Institute "Simo Milošević" and psychologist Aleksandra Kovačević.
"From the beginning, I encountered the right people in healthcare. I went to rehab wonderfully happy, that it was abnormal. She survived hell, and I'm happy. I was received by a wonderful doctor Vojvodic, gave me therapy and sent me to psychologist Saška, who after 15 minutes of talking with me saw that my cheerfulness was not real. She told me: 'Marietta, this is reality, this is not a dream'. And I thought it was a dream that lasted for months and from which I would never wake up. She told me that nothing will change if I don't want it and made an appointment for tomorrow. I went to my room, cried and went to her the next day. She is one of my saviors. Montenegro and our health system without the Institute would be an unfinished story".
She did not go to school for a year and a half, so she finished the first grade and the first semester of the second part-time. She regularly attended other classes. She didn't go to the prom and the excursion, but she didn't even think about it. She had more important things to do at the moment.
"I didn't go to the prom because the music was too loud, because it harms my health, and I only learned about earplugs, my good 'friends' when it comes to noise, during my studies. I didn't even go on the graduation excursion to Greece because it was too tiring for me then. That's why I went to Greece a few years ago. I didn't regret not going on the excursion and prom, because I had more important things to do with my health at the time. I matured overnight, because it was inevitable."
If she had a magic wand, she would lower all the curbs
Although her parents tried to convince her in a nice and unobtrusive way to enroll in a teaching program in Berane, Marijeta did not see herself in the chair. She chose Podgorica, the Faculty of Political Sciences and majored in social work. And not without reason.
"I enrolled in social work because I wanted to be a social worker in healthcare and to try to change everything that bothers me and makes life difficult for people with disabilities. After my studies, I applied for that job twice, but without success. I still want to be a health care social worker. I don't think it will happen, but I have the right to wish. I somehow find myself there and could make a big contribution. I would start with small things, because our life is made up of small things, I would not easily give up on plans, I would "dig" until I reached the goal. And, I know how to 'dig' well".
Despite the fact that her double vision makes it difficult to read, which some professors did not understand, she successfully completed her studies. She enrolled in her master's degree, passed all the exams and is waiting for her thesis to be written and defended.
She is a counselor for young people, she designed the "Life with Disability" workshops where she talks to elementary and high school students about her own experience because she believes that this is the best way to show young people the right path - a life without stereotypes and prejudices, full of empathy and determination. The first workshop was held in 2016 on today's day, when the International Day of Persons with Disabilities is celebrated. It was her extremely successful debut and she continued to teach young people that people with disabilities are part of society and not outside of it, that sterotypes and prejudices can only hold them back.
"For two years in a row, I had fantastic results in my work with young people, but I was not satisfied, because it is always possible to do better and more. In every local community, there should be a space for young people, so that they are not left to cafes and the street. That it should be a place where they can be as long as they want and carry out the activities they want and that are offered to them".
Although she studied at the Faculty of Political Sciences, she does not want to be involved in politics, but she would like to have the power to lower all curbs in Montenegro, to install elevators in all centers for work and social care, to make life easier for people with disabilities.
You go on an excursion and wake up in a shock room. At that moment, I told myself that I didn't want to be there and that I hoped that my body wouldn't be able to withstand everything. I remember the young man who was in that shock room. We were both a mess. I could laugh at him, he couldn't laugh at me. Later, unfortunately, he died
She is an ambassador for the "OneNeurology" initiative, which aims to unite and strengthen groups that would work together worldwide to spread the prevention, treatment and management of neurological disorders.
"I also want to do that in Montenegro, but, unfortunately, I don't have the opportunity. In our country, only curatives are represented and very little attention is paid to prevention. This is the problem of our health system, because many of these neurological diseases can be prevented by preventive measures".
And the problem is that we are far from a state of social justice.
"We live a lot of things on paper. We have excellent laws that, unfortunately, are not implemented".
Until something changes in the minds of those who "shape" our lives, and are often alone outside of life, we will continue to live many things only on paper.
Clooney, Obama, Ferrera...
All this work recommended that it be on the BBC's list, which includes, among others, a human rights lawyer Amal Clooney, a Hollywood star America Ferrera, a feminist icon Gloria Steinem, former US first lady Michelle Obama, the owner of a cosmetics company Huda Katan, soccer player crowned with the Ballon d'Or Fence Bonmati.
"The BBC contacted me through the OneNeurology network, and asked if I would be interested in being on this list, because they concluded that my method of working with young people is innovative and inspiring. I accepted, thinking that they would only consider me. And here I am on the list where there are a lot of famous women, but also ordinary ones, like me," says Marijeta.
And she is anything but ordinary. She raised her head when many people turned their backs on her because of her disability, felt on her own skin what it looks like when an employer looks at you with prejudice, experienced discrimination and mobbing, realized that she is strong enough to try to change the world around her.
"I met a rabbi who left his easy life and decided to devote himself to implementing the peace process in warring countries. I know that these are some unrealistic things when it comes to me, but I would like to be the person who would fight for the implementation of the peace process. But that's why I will continue to explain to young people why they should not be afraid of diversity, and disability is one of them. My disability is my partner. He still creates problems for me, makes it difficult for me to function on a daily basis, but now we move forward together," says Marijeta, who, as she said, is a youth activist with a license, and an activist for the rights of disabled people with a life badge.
The conversation ended as it began - with a song by Dada Topić. Although she says that "Bajka o ljubavi" is a song that seems to have been written for her, another verse of Topić's song suits her very well:
"You are a princess from another world, your word creates miracles..."
They were joined by Baudrillard
With a smile and ease, she talks about how she was left because of her disability because it bothered her then-boyfriend's parents. Then Tomaš Damjanović happened. And Baudrillard is "to blame" for everything.
"I read Tomáš's text in which he mentioned Jean Baudrillard, whom I forge into the stars, because his philosophy is something miraculous. Thanks to that text, we met and we have been together for more than five years".
“I think about how great it will be to have a child with the man I love. I can't wait, but I'm patient," she wrote in 2019.
And she and Tomas were patient. Two and a half years ago, Đurađ, their Đudji, as they call him, came.
"When I got pregnant, I was happy and scared. The first months were challenging. I was afraid of dropping him and I was most proud of myself when we pushed through the first year and when Đudji walked."
She is now four months pregnant and they are expecting a girl in the spring. It will be called Dunja.
"Tomas gave the son a name, and I will give the girl a name. Quince is associated with a grandmother, my first neighbor, who died at the age of 90 and had no children. We all called her mom. She had a quince in front of the house and it was her trademark. She would definitely give quince to the children. We also had a quince for a while, but only hers smelled so nice."
And her and Tomas' happiness smells so good, because she found a man who loves her for her virtues and for her uniqueness.
From "Bubuljica" to "Diary of a Grandmother"
Marijeta says that she had a diary that she kept and that she called it "Bubuljica" until the moment she had a stroke.
"These are texts about first crushes, going out, concerts, New Year's celebrations, about insignificantly important things for a teenager. And then you wake up in another reality, you don't know where you are and you hope that your mother is with you. After the brain one, "Pimple" grew into "Diary of a Grandmother", as I called that ugly part of the diary. I didn't write for a long time after that. I didn't want more," says Marijeta, who published parts of "Bubuljica" and "Diary of a Grandmother" on her blog.
“Dear diary. I had a crying fit last night. Something broke inside me and I don't know, I was really sick. I'm so... so depressed. Everything is different, I am different... and everyone around me. And all that bothers me a lot. Their relationship. And school, I'm very afraid, but I hope it will be fine. Well, I'm telling you, everything is somehow... different," she wrote on July 28, 2003.
“Dear diary. Today is my birthday. I'm not celebrating him, because it's not the time for that. It's not time for anything. That's right for you. I am so bad. I try to be the same as before, but it doesn't work. School is terrible. Everything is different and stupid. Society, professors, whatever. I feel stupid and lonely. But that was a long time ago. I can't tell you what annoys me, but the list is long. This is not me anymore. It's someone else. And I miss the old me! Here, I'm crying. Pathetic and ridiculous, right? I think God was supposed to take me. I'm not for this. I didn't”. (September 18, 2003).
"What can I tell you, I feel great, like a cool girl. My right arm and leg are hurting a bit, but it will 100% pass quickly, I'm sure of it. I also see double, it's called diplopia... Next month I will go to the spa to continue my rehabilitation. I hope for the best” (February 15, 2004)…
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