The family has changed in Montenegro. In the past, an uncle or an uncle would take care of a child who was left without parents... The child would not end up in a home. Today, this is mostly not the case - in the Children's Home "Mladost" in Bijela there are mostly children who have parents and children with developmental disabilities.
"There were no adoptions in the House for four years," said the director in an interview with "Vijesti". Marela Savić.
Children's home "Mladost" is an institution that cares for children deprived of parental care and children whose development is hindered by family circumstances. It is the only institution of its type in the territory of Montenegro.
Savić has been in the House for almost three decades, the last two of which, as he says, "first among equals".
In the week before the end of 2023, there were 84 children in the Home, and another ten who use the day care for children with developmental disabilities.
"These are ten children from biological families, but they are with us every day, except for weekends. Children who are in residential care, mostly come from violent families. In their families, they experienced everything that should not happen in a family. The family should be the place where the child feels safe. Unfortunately, when it comes to our children, that is not the case", says Savić.
Some children were placed in the home directly from the street, where they were forced to beg, some turned 10, 12 without having had the opportunity to attend school. Some children arrive at the home hungry and it takes time for them to understand that there is enough food and that there is no need to overeat.
"Because we also have such situations in the beginning. For the whole month, you have the problem of feeding the child, in the sense that he needs to eat continuously. This is not, of course, a need of the stomach, it is a need of the soul," says Savić.
The task of employees who work with children in Bijela is to help them understand that they are safe in the home, that they are not in danger of any kind of violence, to restore trust in adults, to help the child to face the past - and to start further.
"It is the most difficult job and it takes the most time, a lot of effort, patience and a lot of love, for the child to understand what happened to him, that he needs to move forward and have the support of adults," says Savić.
Foster care
In addition to being placed in an institution like the one in Bijela, children whose family circumstances are disturbed could also be placed with foster parents. According to Savić, for most of them from the "Mladost" Home, there are no administrative obstacles for such a thing:
"Most of them would be candidates for foster care, if foster care was at some ideal level."
In Montenegro, adds the director of the Home, kinship foster care has been developed, and this, she says, is part of the tradition.
A lot still needs to be done on non-relatives, and serious work, as she said, is yet to come on so-called "specialized" foster care - that for children with developmental disabilities.
According to data from July, 323 people in Montenegro had a license to be a foster parent. Of these, only 62 are those who are not related to the children entrusted to them for temporary accommodation.
"You have more and more children with developmental disabilities who do not have parental care. Specifically, in the Home in Bijela, out of the total number of children, 50 percent of them have developmental disabilities," says Savić.
In Bijela, children stay until they come of age. For those with developmental disabilities, if there is no family that wants to take care of them, the way is "Komanski most". It is the way from one institution to another.
"That is what is difficult for all of us who work with them. As a society, we must, especially at the local level, develop services to help and support families in risk and vulnerable categories. And where will you find more vulnerable categories than children with developmental disabilities", says Savić.
As a good example of support, he cites the experience from a cafe in Belgrade, Serbia, where only people with Down syndrome work.
"Rarely where have I received such impeccable service. Hygiene, landscaping, friendliness, service, everything was fantastic. It shows that anything is possible. Why couldn't it be the same in Montenegro? Of course it could. People with Down syndrome can live almost independently, of course, with monitoring and support. There is no reason why Montenegro does not have that. Not to mention other aspects. As a system, we have a lot of work to do," says Savić.
The director of the "Mladost" Home says that the ultimate goal is to reduce the number of children placed in institutions, but adds that institutions must exist in some form.
He hopes that one day specialized foster care will be developed in Montenegro, that these foster parents will have the full support of the health system.
Until then, in order for children with developmental disabilities who do not have parental care to be taken care of, there would have to be a social and health institution.
"Hospitals are not accommodation, a child cannot stay in a hospital for years, such an institution is necessary. Although we constantly talk about deinstitutionalization, of course it is the right way, but there will always be a number of children for whom we have no other solution. At least for the foreseeable future. I hope that the moment will come when we will have specialized foster families, who will be able to accept such a child and take care of him. But that will only be possible under the conditions when our health system also functions flawlessly, if you have no problem scheduling an examination with a neurologist for a month or two..." said Savić.
Adoption
In the "Mladost" Children's Home, there have been no adoptions in the last four years.
"Adoption is a decision that should mature in every person. When we decide to do so, the way we are, we generally want healthy and small children. And it's completely legit. It is your right to want a male or female child, of that age, to be healthy. To be honest, sometimes I'm not surprised that the potential adopter says, 'I want a healthy child', because, going back to the health care system, that system is not at the level that can provide the support you need," says Savić.
When he talks about the reasons why there have been no adoptions in the "Mladost" Home for four years, he says that one of them is because the majority of teenage children stay there.
“That's one thing. Secondly, it is 50 percent of children with developmental disabilities. In addition, over 90 percent of the children here have parents, a small number of them have had their parental rights taken away, which is one of the obstacles to adoption," says Savić.
Parental rights are limited or revoked by initiating proceedings before the court, upon the proposal of the guardianship authority, that is, the competent center for social work.
"If you have a parent who abuses and abuses his child in the worst possible way, then there are certainly conditions for initiating proceedings against such a parent," says Savić.
He adds that the approaches of centers for social work in this sense are different. And the child loves the parent. And when he does some things that are unacceptable, the child, she says, tries to find an excuse. Or he doesn't talk about his parents.
"In working with children, we don't touch that topic until the child starts talking. The task of our experts is for the child to come up with some solutions, to recognize emotions, to recognize trauma".
"The Family"
Home "Mladost" in Bijela was founded in 1946, and has been working continuously since then. Savić remembers the day when there were over 200 children in the home.
"But the structure of the children was completely different. You had two, three, five percent of children who have certain disabilities. Today, the situation is completely different," he says.
The home tries to imitate a family - the children are placed in the so-called family groups - apartments within the institution. Each apartment has 250 square meters and rooms that any family apartment has: bedrooms, bathroom, dining room, kitchen, living room. Children are divided according to gender and age. Only the youngest group is mixed.
For years, there has been no central dining room, but a central kitchen, from where children take their lunch and take it to their apartments, where they eat lunch together with their teachers.
"The goal is to learn some basic things when it comes to dining, the use of cutlery, conversation at the table, some manners... This is their only opportunity, the only way to learn some things," explains the director of the Home.
Each kitchen has a stove and a refrigerator, so children can eat when they want or prepare some meals themselves.
"They want to prepare pancakes, fry an egg, cook hot dogs, prepare grandma's cake, they love it. We tried not to have dinner at seven and it's over, there's nothing until the morning, that's unacceptable," says Savić.
The "Vijesti" team was there right at lunch time. The first semester has already ended and in one of the apartments where the girls are, several of them were watching short video clips from the YouTube platform, the popular "shorts". Nothing their peers are doing.
Others from the same apartment brought lunch at the same time and sat down in the dining room to have lunch.
Although there is a central laundry room in the home, each apartment and family has its own washing machine and dryer, where they wash their clothes.
All this, says Savić, is a way for the children in the home to become independent.
"When they leave here, they must have some life skills with which they will be able to have a certain quality in their independent life. No one can replace a family, but we do everything," says Savić.
As she said, in the material sense, the children are well taken care of. He also says that they are most grateful in the home when those who want to help their work, ask what they need.
"Materially, these children have more than children in an average Montenegrin family, and it should be that way. To try to replace that part of the child that is difficult to replace - for the parent to take care of him", says Savić.
During the holidays, they organize excursions and trips for the children.
In cooperation with centers for social work, says Savić, for every child who has an extended family and there are conditions, the child stays with the family for a few days.
Unfortunately, he adds, repeatedly pointing out how different the structure of children in the home is today than before, this is less and less the case.
"I remember the time when 40-50 children would go to their families during the holidays. Now it is much less... The question is also the competence of those families, their will."
What after...
All the time that he is in the home, the task of the employees is to work on preparing each of the children for the day when they go to independent life.
Some skills are acquired by children in the home every day, in apartments, in family groups, but, says Savić, the first and basic task is for the children to finish school and acquire a profession that will enable them to work when they leave. For the labor market, it is necessary to train those children who arrived at the home older, at the age of 12 or 13, they had not previously gone to school, and for them at that age it is no longer an option.
Those children were given the opportunity to complete some certified training - for tailors, assistant bartenders, waiters, auxiliary workers... thanks to donors. Savić said that, although it is not the responsibility of the Home "Mladost", they will try to provide the finances themselves in the future so that the children can be trained for certain professions.
"You have a child who was born healthy, but had no opportunity for cognitive development, for learning, he was on the street. You see it's healthy, but it's too late. That child must be guided in the sense of a special program", said Savić.
Home "Mladost" cooperates with numerous companies in Boka Kotorska, Herceg Novi, Tivat.
"In May, we interview all children older than 15, mostly older than 16, who can work by law, have a work book, in the sense that the teacher talks about work in an affirmative sense," explains the director.
For children who accept to work, employers are discussed and a contract is signed.
"These are serious contracts, work book, seniority, insurance and special monitoring. And that turned out to be great for us. Especially when it comes to these children who are late in their education", says Savić and cites the example of a boy who will soon turn 18, who has completed certified training and is working:
"He is with us for a few more months, but his future is secured".
Savić also adds that most children who come from northern municipalities do not want to return, and that their choice is Podgorica or the coast.
When they leave home, these young people do not go to a new life with only a suitcase of personal clothes. The administration of the home provides bed linen, blankets, dishes, groceries, personal and hygiene products.
"The child is packed with everything that is packed in the biological family, when he goes to a new life or studies in a new city. The van drives it," says Savić.
Some centers for social work, she adds, have so-called social apartments for these young people.
"Less than a month ago, we had a little girl who came out in such a way, and really empowered, having finished school, and already got a job. Her center provided her with an apartment," says Savić.
In the event that they do not have a job, five years after leaving the home, children have the right to material security for the family.
Savić also clarifies that each child, while still in the home, has his own current account, which is opened by the center for social work, and into which money from child benefits is paid, in the event of the death of a parent, it is also funds from a pension...
"Those funds remain in the current account, and when the young person leaves the home, they dispose of that money. Plus, he gets 350 euros from the home, which is the amount of the monthly price of accommodation. We are making sure that they are really empowered in a material sense", says Savić.
In response to the journalist's comment that this is what independence looks like, regardless of whether a young person leaves the home or the family, Savić says that there is one important difference:
"When we leave our families, we have a place to return to, the door is always open for us. These children do not have that, their doors are closed, they cannot return to the home, to accommodation".
Bonus video:
