"Women of the Bar with a Big Heart" about managing a folk kitchen: Desire does not know what is impossible

They did not know each other before the National Kitchen, even though they lived in the same city. Five years ago, they were united by what is in the name of their association - a big heart. They knew what it was like when there was nothing and it could not be done. They wanted to help "at least a little". Today, they feed around 250 fellow citizens every day, and soon they will hand over the keys to a new home to a family.

The "women of Bar with a big heart" sat at the table in Bar's National Kitchen and remembered how it all began.

Marija Vujacic approached the "Women of the Bar" with fear, wondering if what was being said about them was true. When she joined them she was ready to give up if she saw something she didn't like.

"I've volunteered in other places, I've been around the world, I've seen other organizations, but I've never seen such a seed of love and purity, that someone out of pure love helps someone. To me, this is food for the soul, just like this, most sincerely," she said.

Sonja Ličina added that when she saw the association of Bar women, she thought - "that's me". She said that you can't understand someone's situation until you go through it.

"To have and to not have. And to know what it means when you don't have it, and when someone gives it to you. I mean, it's a big thing, so I completely understand them and then I'll be glad because I went through it myself," said Ličina and stated that it's the biggest motivator because she knows how much it means to others.

Marija Radovic she remembered when Ljiljana Vujović launched the idea of ​​"Bar Women with a Big Heart" on Facebook and immediately wanted to be a part of it.

Marija, Sonja Vlaar, Marija, Jelena, Lenka i Anastasija have agreed on one thing, and that is to be happy that they go to the National Kitchen and that they are kept healthy and cheerful by the smile or look of gratitude from fellow citizens who come to their door for a meal.

Their impression is that there are far fewer vain people than well-intentioned ones. At least that's what they want to believe.

They are familiar with the narrative that everyone needs to take care of themselves, that everyone has two arms and legs and that they are to blame for the situation they are in. Anastasia Jovovich said that she had heard such stories and that she invites those who think so to come to the National Kitchen.

"They know how to say that one of the users of the kitchen looks good, or is nicely dressed, how it is tidied up or similar, but they don't know that they got the goods on them from us, actually, from donations," she explained.

She said that before, when the kitchen was open, their customers couldn't wait for their meal and often ate it in front of the kitchen, in a hurry. Today, they come for their food with less shame and stigma. They got to know each other, they socialize, and the National Kitchen is now a safe space for them, and not a place they come to with their heads down.

Their conversation is interrupted by a user who knocks on the door, so they take turns getting up to add meals.

"Three for him and two for her," they direct each other.

Marija Radović explained that poverty and hunger are only one of the problems faced by their users.

"When you hear their stories, you can't blame them for anything. When you hear how children live, women who need medical and psychological help. Children often do not have the conditions to go to school. Mothers are separated from their mouths for their children, they are in poor health, and they do not have the conditions to go to the doctor", these are just some of the problems that Radović mentioned.

They all agreed that the biggest problem of their users is isolation from society and rejection by the community as a result of stereotypes.

250 users, many more hungry

In the National Kitchen, they distribute around 250 meals every day. They think the number of those starving in Bar is much higher.

"There are many more. As far as we know those who cannot come for health reasons. Who live far away and have nothing to do. People from the village, Gorani, Crmnica and old people", she emphasized Lenka Budimić.

She added that they found out about many of them when they distributed masks in those places during the pandemic. Today, once a month and in accordance with the possibilities, they take food packages to them.

In the meal bag that each user receives, there is a main dish consisting of vegetables and meat, an additional dish, salad and a piece of bread. Those meals are provided exclusively by donations that the Women of Bar receive from the citizens of Bar, the diaspora, local entrepreneurs, but also national firms and state companies.

In addition to food, the beneficiaries received clothes, shoes, furniture, firewood, school supplies at the National Kitchen... They are also building a house for a family from Bar, with the help of donations and donated land.

Explaining what the user's needs are, and what the kitchen's capabilities are, they talked about all the things they would like to do and those they once dreamed about, and all of them came true.

Nothing is unattainable to them and they say that they have set and fulfilled every goal they have set so far, "faster or slower", but they have fulfilled it.

Jelena Vukmanović said that "desire does not know what is impossible".

For them, the impossible does not exist, said Vukmanović, referring to the fact that there is nothing that they cannot, at least partially, influence, such as health conditions, housing issues...

Several times we were on the edge of funds, goods and everything, but something happens, it happened to us many times. And there, someone always appears who wants to help or find a solution", she recalled.

She emphasized that they don't even think about the impossible because people from the community, doctors, dentists, entrepreneurs, neighbors and all people of good will made it possible for them and always go out of their way to meet the needs of the users.

It's hard to be a hungry mother

When the "Women of the Bar with a Big Heart" talked about their users and their experiences, they put special emphasis on women and young mothers. They concluded that they are in a particularly difficult position because they not only take care of themselves but also of their children, and their spouse is often not a part of it.

Marija Radović says that "a mother will always be a mother" and that even though they share enough food for everyone, it is the woman who will always separate from her mouth for the children's.

Just some of the problems they face are the inability to take care of themselves, reproductive health, the inability to get a job due to taking care of children, and above all, hunger and poverty.

"Many of them have a male figure in the family, but they are often users of psychoactive substances, addicted to alcohol or have some other health problem that prevents them from working. This is not the case only with young mothers, but also with mothers whose sons are adults but also live like that, most often with their mother, which forces them to be our beneficiaries", explained Radović.

When they come to the kitchen, they usually look for goods and shoes for children, but rarely for themselves. Because of all this, they organized handicraft and handicraft workshops for the women who eat in the National Kitchen, as well as psychological workshops with a psychologist. Peter Marković.

"You don't know how happy they were at those workshops, both with handicrafts and with Petra. Petar really helped them and they keep telling us how they felt better. When we did it for handicrafts, they were very happy and they keep asking us when we will do it again", said Radović.

"They felt useful and capable," Ličina added.

The municipality helps, the state less

The municipality of Bar has included the "Women of Bar with a big heart" in its annual budget, and with these funds they will be able to pay for the space for the National Kitchen and salaries for the cooks.

Radović says that this is a big improvement and a big help compared to the first years of working in the kitchen when the cooks also volunteered and paid for the space from their membership fees for the association.

They have no help from the state, they say, except for a one-time opening donation from the Ministry of Labor and Social Welfare.

"The state is least interested in social welfare and everyone knows that, I think, everyone feels it," said Vukmanović and added that this is not the case only now, but has always been so.

Radović noted that when they say state aid, they don't mean money, and that money is the least important.

"Types of help in psychological support are needed, first of all, care for their mental health, help with health insurance, education of the children who come to us", she emphasized.