The case of Nizama Hećimović, who was killed in Gradačac by her ex-partner Nermin Sulejmanović in front of a nine-month-old baby and an Instagram user, shook the entire Bosnian and regional public. The victim reported the perpetrator, who was previously known to the police for drug smuggling and violent behavior, to the security authorities and requested a restraining order, but her request was rejected.
"I believe that the fact that her request was denied could discourage other female victims of violence from reporting violence, unless there is a really good investigation into why it happened." If it remains uninvestigated, then women will believe that they have no protection," says Augustina Ina Rahmanović.
She nevertheless assesses that there is a good legal framework in Bosnia and Herzegovina, but, she says, it is often not respected in practice. Better cooperation between different institutions is needed, he emphasizes, as well as a faster and clearer reaction to the problem of violence.
Male solidarity and a soft attitude towards domestic violence
An additional challenge is the macho culture that exists, not only on the street, but also in institutions. "In our work, we often come across the so-called 'male solidarity', both in the police and among employees in social work centers. Some of the men employed there have a slightly softer attitude towards violence and say: 'It will be all right. It will all pass.' And legally, they can prevent something like this from happening," the psychologist told DW, in light of the femicide and double murder that happened on August 11 in Gradačac.
In Bosnia and Herzegovina, 2021 women were killed in 2022 and 19, according to the Committee for Monitoring the Implementation and Reporting of the Istanbul Convention and Femicide in Bosnia and Herzegovina. At the same time, according to United Nations data, every second woman in Bosnia and Herzegovina over the age of 15 has experienced some form of physical, psychological or sexual violence.
Rahmanović explains that women know that they suffer violence for a very long time and do not report their abuser. The perpetrator of violence, she says, rules by instilling fear, and shows irrational behavior when the woman least expects it.
Isolation and fear: why do women not report violence?
"Violence is reflected in humiliation, insults, isolation from loved ones, cursing and dehumanization. A woman is encapsulated in some kind of isolation and cannot get out of it on her own. This fear that he will really do something to her is a big reason why women do not report violence," says Rahmanović.
In addition, there is a complex psychological process in which it is very difficult for a woman to psycho-emotionally free herself from her abuser, but also concrete reasons, such as financial dependence or the attitude that children need a father, whatever he may be.
"Victims generally feel that he will change if they are good." But that is not so. If no one sets limits for him, he will only get worse," warns Rahmanović.
From war to domestic violence
The association "Vive žene" from Tuzla started working with people with war trauma in the nineties of the last century, and later they focused more on violence against children and women in the family.
"The war trauma partly worsened domestic violence. The characteristics of aggression against women and children in war have similarities with violence against women and children after the war. That's how we connected it," says the psychologist from Tuzla and points out that the consequences of the war still play an important role in the accountability for crimes committed.
"We in Bosnia and Herzegovina live in a country where war criminals are glorified. I have the feeling that it inevitably affects everyone and that there is a feeling that you can do whatever you want without being held accountable."
Safe house - just one type of support
Today, the association manages the Safe House for victims of domestic violence, which currently houses seven women. Last week, there were 14 to 15 of them. There is capacity for 21 people and victims can feel safe in that accommodation, Rahmanović says.
"Victims are provided 24 hours a day. We have good links with the police and secure electronic entry. After admission, no one is allowed to be contacted - neither we, nor the social worker, nor the police are allowed to tell anyone where the victim is. We also take the mobile phone from the victim, so that she cannot be exposed to those kinds of threats", explains the psychologist and adds that the Safe House can be accessed through the police or the center for social work.
A safe house is, of course, one of the solutions and ways to escape from abusers, but the best protection is for the victim to start talking about what is happening to her as soon as possible, as well as to report the violence. Victims need to talk about the problem with people in their environment, because the more people know, the better protected and supported the victim is.
"Many women suffer in silence, they are afraid, ashamed and won't talk. But they need to know that being a victim of violence is not a shame, it is a social problem. I would recommend every victim to think carefully about whether they want to spend their life in such a way. They have to connect with their dignity, because men and women are equal. They should not feel that they are subordinate and that men can do whatever they want with them. It must not be like that", concludes the psychologist Rahmanović and at the end of the conversation she says:
"I just want people to understand how destructive domestic violence is. It is destructive on the level of the victim, but also on the level of the perpetrator, because I can't imagine that he [Nermin Sulejmanović] was happy when he was doing it. Not to mention the level of children. It's terrible."
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