Shirley Parello knows her son was confident about his mission in Iraq. But watching Iraqi forces try to retake Fallujah from al Qaeda, Parello can't help but wonder if it was worth the sacrifice of 19-year-old U.S. Marine Brian Parello.
"I'm starting to think his death was in vain," she said of her son, who died on Jan. 1, 2005, in a bombing in Iraq. “I hope I'm wrong. But it seems to me that the quote is not the best".
The photo of two charred bodies of American citizens hanging from a bridge in 2004, while bystanders threw shoes at them, etched the name of this city into the American psyche.
While many are disheartened by the fall of Fallujah to Islamist forces, others try to place it in the context of Iraq's history of internal struggles for supremacy, which began with the 2003 overthrow of dictator Saddam Hussein.
"I'm very disappointed," retired Marine Mike Schaap, whose team defended Fallujah at the end of 2004, told AP. "But this is just another fight in the long-standing war against terrorism and repression."
Former sniper Earl Katagnas took part in the capture of this ancient city on the banks of the Euphrates River. Now a military historian, Katagnas believes that the battle for Fallujah is of great importance to the Americans.
"If you watch any crime series where the marines are mentioned... they keep saying, 'I was in Fallujah,'" he said. "And that's the battle that made soldiers into warriors."
In the annals of the US Marines, the battle for Fallujah ranks high.
The battle for Fallujah began in April 2004, when four members of the private US military agency "Blackwater" were killed and the bodies of two were hanged from a bridge. The so-called second battle for Fallujah – under the name Operation Phantom Strike – followed seven months later.
Many point out that it was the heaviest battle by American forces for a city since Hue, Vietnam in 1968. Historian Richard Lowry, who spoke to nearly 200 veterans of the battle for Fallujah, recounted that "a thousand SWAT teams were going through the city and cleansed it of criminals".
"They would enter dark rooms, break down doors, never knowing whether they would encounter a terrified Iraqi family or an Islamic terrorist about to kill them," said Lowry, author of "New Dawn: The Battle for Fallujah."
In the battle, 100 Americans died and another 1.000 were wounded, said Lovri, who believes that it is difficult to exaggerate the importance of Fallujah in the Iraq war.
"Up until that point, this country was descending into anarchy," said the Vietnam War veteran. "The Marines - with the help of the US armed forces and Iraqis - entered Fallujah, cleared the entire city and brought security to Anbar province, allowing Iraqis to hold their first successful elections."
This is why the fall of Fallujah into the hands of Islamists is a bitter disappointment for many.
Gareth Anderson's unit in that city lost 51 members. When he thinks about whether the battle was in vain, he says his stomach turns.
"We were supposed to destroy the enemy. We have achieved that and that is why the death of our comrades will not be in vain. We won that day," said this 28-year-old, who is now studying film direction. "If the Marines were in that town today, the streets would once again be full of dead Islamists." But this is just the beginning of something that most people, who followed the war from the beginning, knew would happen".
Lovri said that the Americans "abandoned" the Iraqi Sunnis, thus enabling the cooperation of the Shia government with the Iranians. "The time of Shia-Sunni polarization is returning...and it is growing".
Katagnas and others point out that the situation is even worse.
Katagnas was preparing to go out into the city one evening, when the rebels detonated a bomb just 2,5 meters from him. Despite a concussion and shrapnel injuries to his face, he never left the front.
A 39-year-old New Yorker returned to Iraq last year to teach dance classes. He is most concerned about what the outbreak of violence means for Iraqis.
"Think of the children in those villages, who are teenagers or in their 20s," he said. "What does it mean for them? What does this mean for translators who were and are now at risk because they are helping Americans?"
"Iraq is destined to fail"
For some veterans, the situation in Anbar province is nothing unexpected. "I always had the impression that Iraq was destined to fail, no matter what they did to us," said Derek Richardson, who fought in Fallujah in late 2004. David Franco survived a bomb near Fallujah in 2005.
Popadič has an artificial eye with the logo of the marines
This retired marine has a brain injury, suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder and other disorders, for which he visits a doctor and a psychologist almost every day. "I was just waiting for that to happen, for Al Qaeda to return there again," this 53-year-old told AP. "It's going to happen all the time." However, Nik Popadič believes that it was worth it. On April 7, 2004, Popadic's tank was hit by a shell.
Shrapnel destroyed his right eye – in its place he now has an artificial one with the Marine Corps logo. His expertise earned him a Silver Star and a Purple Heart, but cost him his career. He is training to become a high school math teacher, but refuses to predict what is going on in Iraq. "There are a lot of unfortunate people there who had the opportunity to experience freedom," said Popadič (46), who participated in the 2012 congressional elections.
“And if the bad guys regain control, that's not something I can control from 13.000 miles away. I'm just proud of the fact that my country, when it was time for it, fought for Iraqis, for their freedom, human rights...".
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