“Mr. Watson, come here, I want to talk to you.” With those words, Alexander Graham Bell revolutionized communication. They were the first words to be intelligibly transmitted over a distance – the first telephone call. On February 14, 1876, Bell filed for a patent for his invention, marking the rise of voice communication as the primary way people stay connected.
Real-time, long-distance communication amazed those who first experienced it. “A wonderful invention,” wrote the Wichita City Eagle of Kansas in 1877. It described the audience that erupted in applause after a demonstration of the telephone.
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Although it took a few more decades for the telephone to become a part of everyday life, today calling someone is easier than ever. Mobile phones have made it possible to talk while walking down the street, driving, or even using the bathroom – there seems to be almost no limit to when and where we can make a phone call. However, for many, it is no longer the primary communication option it once was.
From email to a simple SMS, messaging apps and social networking platforms, the ways of communication have multiplied, and communication preferences seem to be changing, with text messages increasingly being preferred.
According to a December 2023 international YouGov survey, SMS or text messages are the most popular form of personal communication – 40 percent of respondents cited them as their first choice. Mobile phone calls were second, at 29 percent, while landline calls accounted for just three percent of communication.
These preferences appear to differ across generations: younger people are increasingly moving away from the phone as their first choice. The same survey found that the preference for text messaging is highest among respondents aged 18 to 24, while the highest preference for phone calls – both mobile and landline – is recorded among those over 55.
"Silent Generation"
Because of their penchant for text messaging, Generation Z (and sometimes millennials) have been dubbed "the mute generation."
“I would say it’s primarily young people who are used to most of our communication being done via text or audio messages,” explains Lea Uc, a millennial herself. She hosts the German podcast “Telephobia,” in which she helps people of all ages navigate particularly difficult and emotional phone conversations.
Young people have grown up with other forms of communication and have become accustomed to them. They are used to choosing words and emojis carefully, deleting or editing messages that have already been sent, and maintaining control over when they read or even receive a message from someone. "Those who grew up with this way of communication probably internalized it completely differently than older people," she told DW.
For young people, spontaneously calling someone can even seem rude, like a selfish demand for someone else's time. Perhaps that's why a British survey by Uswitch from April 2024 found that 68 percent of 18- to 34-year-olds prefer pre-arranged calls.
"If you send a text message, it gives the feeling: 'You can respond when it's convenient for you, I don't want to bother you, maybe you're not available right now,'" says Uc.
An unpleasant phone call?
But even older people, who are more likely to make phone calls, can feel uncomfortable and hesitant about making phone calls. Amit Kumar is an associate professor of marketing, psychology and neuroscience at the University of Delaware. He has studied people's expectations about voice calls and how they compare to actual outcomes. He has found in several studies that people expect voice calls to be more unpleasant than text communication - and that this belief seems to persist across generations. "The evidence we have suggests that there were no significant differences depending on the age of the participants," he told DW. Both young and old think that talking on the phone will be an unpleasant experience. However, he stresses that more studies are needed that specifically look at the influence of age.
Kumar points out that the more experience someone has with something, the more realistic their expectations will be. “If people try to make phone calls more often, they’re more likely to accurately assess how unpleasant it is. But the problem is, if they don’t try, they can’t learn.” And when false expectations persist, it can lead us to text rather than answer the phone, he explains.
Please, answer!
Despite fear and discomfort, people – including young people – still want to be notified about certain things by phone. A Uswitch survey found that 53 percent of respondents aged 18 to 24 would be offended if they didn’t receive a phone call about happy or important events, such as an engagement or the birth of a child.
On the other hand, difficult topics are also ones that many would rather discuss over the phone than via text message—once they can overcome their reservations about dialing a number. Podcast participants call in and talk about very intimate and personal things—from dealing with a childhood bully, to talking to long-lost family members, to connecting with a driver who caused a serious car accident. “I think the caller usually knows that these kinds of topics can’t be discussed over text chat,” she says. For Uc, a phone call is an “ideal spot” that offers emotional connection with the safety of distance. “It’s a very personal connection, but at the same time it’s not as emotionally demanding as a face-to-face meeting.”
And if connection is what you're looking for, a phone call has a lot to offer. "We found that people actually formed significantly stronger connections when they communicated over the phone than through text-based media," says Kumar, citing his research.
And the expectations about awkwardness? They're wrong. People don't actually experience phone conversations as any more awkward than text communication. "Those fears are a bit contrived. We think it's going to be a bit weird to talk to someone on the phone," he explains.
“When they actually communicate with someone using their voice, they feel more connected,” he adds. Interestingly, Kumar’s studies have shown that video calls do not lead to stronger connections than voice calls. It seems that the connecting force is still primarily in the voice.
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