1. The difference between political work and prostitution is not worth a monument.
2. The jump from the pre-election to the post-election phase of political work is the transition from words to actions.
3. If for the sake of forming a political alliance you have to give up your beliefs, leave those beliefs where you will find them when the alliance is dissolved or you are kicked out of it as a well-served kiss.
4. When things are hungry for power, to have one's self is to be out of luck.
5. The backbone is an atavism from the pre-political era.
6. If your conscience stings you because you betrayed the trust of your voters by joining an unprincipled coalition, bite it too.
7. Respect the people who voted for you, especially their gullibility.
8. The index of the development of parliamentary democracy is the average number of votes cast per elected member. Croatia, thank heaven, is recording continuous index growth.
9. Advocacy for general interests makes sense only if it starts from a personal example.
10. Male masturbation is an opportunity for a politician to keep his word. You understand: it is not recommended during coalition negotiations.
11. If you hear your voice beating in order to sell your birth mother for a lucrative political position, remember how much evil that woman has caused you in your life.
12. Let's not even talk about the father.
13. If you are ready to coalesce with the black devil to gain power, do not be completely relaxed, because the black devil may not stoop so low as to coalesce with you.
14. If you are saddened by the realization that you lied to your voters during the election campaign, lighten up with the fact that you are not telling the truth even now.
15. If you sit down at the negotiating table with someone who spat on you until yesterday, know that forgiveness is not a virtue, but an investment.
16. If you sit down at the negotiating table with someone whom you spat on until yesterday, act as if someone completely different, although quite similar, is sitting across from you.
17. While agreeing on the modes by which the ruling coalition will be formed and function, take into account the well-being of all Croatian citizens, especially the sons of bitches who stop at nothing to get hold of power.
18. Do not enter into alliances with radicals and extremists, except when the circumstances are extremely difficult, as always.
19. If the media accuses you of hypocrisy because of unscrupulous post-election trading, don't take it personally, take it two-faced.
20. Do not fear that due to post-election fickleness and proven bribery, you will pay the guild in the next election. The only European value that has taken root in Croatia is the Stockholm syndrome.
21. During negotiations with potential coalition partners, emphasize that for the future of this country it is important that your conditions are met now.
22. Generally speaking, the only meaning of the future is to serve as a justification for your behavior in the present.
23. If in order to save Croatia it is necessary to engage in dirty pacts, shameless trading of mandates and similar suspicious actions, who are you to disobey the Higher Order and call Homeland?
24. While you're trying to get into the ruling party, don't go overboard with declaring your love for Croatia. It is enough to do it all the time.
25. Adhere to the basic principles of political economy: accusations that you are a sold soul cannot go against your soul, since it has already been sold.
26. If during a negotiation you feel the urge to squeeze and fart at the same time, it's harmless as long as you don't shit about it out loud.
27. Don't bother with left-right overexertion. Left and right come to full expression when the hand washes the hand.
28. The realization that you are a tolerant person who respects others and who is different is more important than the feeling that you are sloppily entering into an alliance with those whose political views are diametrically opposed to yours.
29. Worse than having a political partner you loathe is not having a political partner.
30. Whoever manages to change his political views overnight today, will manage to keep them tomorrow through power.
31. The ruling coalition must be based on a common program basis, and the common program basis is to form a ruling coalition.
32. In the event that your party's program has nothing in common with the program of the party with which you form an alliance, consider that the program of the party with which you form an alliance has nothing in common with your party's program: therefore, you have it in common.
33. A principled approach to coalition negotiations indicates that in principle it is better when there are no principles.
34. If they yell at you that you're a chipper, tell back that you're a pain in the ass.
35. It is best to leave worldview issues at home during the negotiations on forming a coalition government, and after the negotiations succeed, move them to a new apartment that is given to a state official for use.
36. If you think that, because of the dishonorable post-election settlements in which you yourself participate, the parliamentary elections do not really make sense, think again and come to the same conclusion.
37. If you pretend to be a minister, point out that it is a sacrifice you will make for the betterment of Croatia, because in such a Croatia at least one person - namely you - will be better off than it is now.
38. If we add to the above note that, according to the logic of things, it will be better for your extended family members, friends, acquaintances... the situation in Croatia is improving more and more.
39. If you are a member of a national minority, your coalition potential is inversely proportional to the treatment you enjoy in Croatian society. To put it more simply: representatives of the undesirable are extremely desirable.
40. Question: Does the number of accumulated mandates increase with the addition of moral zeros? Answer: No, unfortunately. The electoral system is still not perfect.
Bonus video:
