Ain't no use jiving/ Ain't no use joking
Bob Dylan, Everything Is Broken (Oh Mercy, Columbia, 1989
"We inform", he says, "the interested public, that the Internet (Internet, please, capital "I" - op.a.) on the page https://lamp.gov.me/, the Register of Planning Documents, which is maintained by the Ministry of Ecology, Spatial Planning and Urbanism, in accordance with the Law on Spatial Planning and Building Construction ("Official Gazette of Montenegro", No. 64/17, 44 /18, 63/18, 82/20, 86/22 and 4/23)".
This is (was) the content of the email I received on April 13, the Thursday before last, at 17:37 p.m., from the address of the Chamber of Engineers of Montenegro (ingkomora.me). I did not notice the email on the same day, but only the next day - after I sent last Saturday's text to the editor - and stated in that text that the planning documentation in digital format has not been available to us since August of last year - and directed those interested to Ms. Izgarevic Pavicevic, general director of the Directorate for Spatial Planning and Information Systems in the Ministry of Ecology, Spatial Planning and Urbanism.
I also checked, don't be lazy, what is happening on gov.me (MEPPiU) - which lately, frankly, I rarely do - and found that a Notice with the same content appeared on the same day (Thursday, April 13) in 14:21.
And what should I do now? OK, I will apologize to the readers - with hearty congratulations to Mrs. Izgarevic Pavicevic.
Then I rushed to lamp.gov.me, carried by an undisturbed feeling of happiness and (renewed) faith in all the systems of this country in turn. Let's go in order: Planning documentation/ Podgorica/ Blok 5 - my intention was actually to point out (ah, ah) some inconsistencies to the authors of the planning document entitled Detailed urban plan "Blok 5" from back in 2010 (SLCG, OP 16/10) - to the architect Miletić (as those from Gradska TV affectionately call him) and his daughter - and regarding some recent events in the space that directly gravitates to the magnificent building of the Montenegrin Academy of Sciences and Arts - when there...
Everything is fine until the last step - on the condition that you have not typed "Block five" - or, God forbid, "Block V" in the Search register/ Name of the planning document field. In the last window, you have two options: "pdf.rar" - these are thumbnails - and "DUP Text Block 5.pdf". If you try to download thumbnails - NOTHING! - an empty white page opens - the same happens if you try to download the text - NOTHING!
And I was hoping - according to the Law on Spatial Planning and Building Construction ("Official Gazette of Montenegro", number 64/17, 44/18, 63/18, 82/20, 86/22 and 4/23) - whether. ..
I last checked the address https://lamp.gov.me/ on April 20, exactly at 19:05 - nothing again! If the matter has worked in the meantime - I'm happy about that, of course - but I doubt that I will visit the mentioned address in the near future.
***
In the penultimate edition of the show "Okvir" (RTCG, I program, April 14, 20:00 - 21:15), edited and hosted by Zoran Lekovic - the guests were: The first architect of Montenegro, a very nice lady from MEPPiU and of course: Biljana Gligorić - a person on the very threshold of beatification, in the role of our conscience - and they talked, in an extremely relaxed atmosphere, about the eternal (and timeless) topic of "Illegal construction in Montenegro".
Gospodin Tomovic, called "Oči Podgorica", in the introductory part freely and extremely common sense - as only a layman can, absolutely unencumbered by paralyzing professional concerns - reduced to a reasonable measure an insoluble problem, full of all kinds of absurdities and paradoxes, related to those three notorious, imposing and illegally erected residential slats (we are talking about two longitudinal six-story buildings with attics and one transverse with the same characteristics) in addition to the existing, legal slat (transverse, again with the same physical characteristics, approximately) - at the foot of Ljubović, in Podgorica. Tomović also offered the so-called remedial (architectural-urban) solution to the problem - by simply erasing the transverse illegal lamella and opening the rectangle - which would be a Solomonic solution (which does not seem adequate to me, I must admit, but I would not go into the analysis on this occasion).
Then it turned out that the nice lady from MEPPiU - who is also the state secretary (1.665,95 euros salary, net) - is not very knowledgeable about this problem - and therefore the so-called system insights.
However, the lady presented a number of incredible facts - and underlined that all this is "very problematic" - and as for the next steps, she said that (MEPPiU) will ask the business entity "Protection of the territory of Montenegro" DOO Danilovgrad - which acts according to demolition decisions supported by the MEPPiU Inspection Supervision Directorate - information on the cost of demolishing one of the longitudinal slats (the northern slat, which is not finished) - because in the budget, be careful now: there are not enough funds to demolish all three slats! - and she gave assurances that the inspectors will once again send the emergency "to the prosecutor's office" - God knows which order - so that the prosecutor's office "reacts in relation to the police, who should react in relation to the investor and stop the construction" - because everyone we know that there is none better than our police, when it comes to stop and go.
In that name, I suggest that every next emergency goes directly to the Prime Minister, Mr Abazovic - because if Abazović, before the election, does not jump into a tank and fire a few hundred shells "in relation" to those three illegal slats under Ljubović (at the very place where that girl fell in love with a young man) - no one will.
***
And only the bass baritone of the First. That voice makes the pants shake, so to speak. I was also impressed by the astonishing ability of the First, that despite Leković's persistent appeals to common sense, he absolutely preserved peace and tranquility - which seemed completely surreal.
The first one even managed to fence off, with incredible ease, from the investor who cut a path through the wilderness - it is about half a kilometer of road - in order to connect the Mogren 2 beach with the Adriatic highway - and began a thorough reconstruction of the existing facility on that beach - the beach bar with restaurant (P+2+Pk) - according to the conceptual solution approved by - guess who?
The First, therefore, approved the controversial intervention on the Mogren 2 beach - and what happened in the hinterland (that half kilometer road), don't ask the First - because the First, please, has nothing to do with it.
And now I don't know if I was more impressed by the peace and tranquility of the First - where it has no place - or the rare gift of a nice lady to completely distance herself from MEPPiU - from the high body of the executive power that she represented in Leković's show - and to enjoy herself completely in the role of a random passer-by answering questions in an optional TV survey.
I don't know, I'm not smart...
Bonus video:
