Psychotherapist and sexologist Miranda Christophers revealed to the Daily Mail six signs that show that you are not quite something in bed.
"People can't be good in bed, which means relaxed, engaged and engaged in sex, if they feel emotionally insecure and exposed to criticism," Christophers claims, and these are six signs you should think about if you want to finally shine. in that sphere of life.
Lack of confidence
"When you lack confidence, you don't feel safe enough to be open or spontaneous. You may insist on making love in the dark or covered up because it can help you focus on what you love and what gives you pleasure," explains Christophers and advises you to reach for music or candles to create the right atmosphere, but also to apply some of the techniques to strengthen self-confidence. Let's say, to mentally prepare for possible failures or to visualize successes in sex, it says Gloria.
You are easily distracted
"Good sex is all about connection: getting lost in the pleasure, not thinking about the next move at all, like you're dancing together," says Christophers. To prevent mind wandering, try mindfulness, or training your brain to stay focused on the present. Practice it daily and bring that state of mind into the bedroom.
You are uncomfortable talking about sex
Vanessa Marin, author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, recommends starting the conversation with a compliment.
"It can be something innocuous, like 'You look really beautiful today' or 'Your eyes are beautiful'. And you can also say something about the connection you feel with your partner," advises Marin, who believes that problems in sex often stem from poor communication. Christopher adds that it's important to talk with your partner about what he wants in sex and check it every now and then, because such preferences change over time.
You don't change the routine
A Portuguese study published last year in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men are more likely to feel bored with sex in long-term relationships than women.
So, change things up to bring a new spark to your love life, from scheduling sex to throwing in some sexual fantasies to spice things up.
Your partner is not very interested
Consent means that both partners want sex equally, but there are many reasons why the level of sexual desire varies.
"If you prefer morning sex and your partner prefers evening sex, you should talk about it and find a solution that works for both of you," advises Christophers.
You feel shame if you haven't had perfect sex
Sexual performance anxiety affects 9 to 25 percent of men (most commonly due to premature ejaculation) and 6 to 16 percent of women, according to a 2019 study. Christophers advises to let go of that pressure by focusing on your own feelings instead of your partner's pleasure.
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